Anxiety or something worse?

[mmmxiii]

I am a 29-year-old male, 225 pounds. I am an occasional drinker, and I smoke intermittently. I have high blood pressure, which is being regulated with atenolol, lisinopril, and HCTZ.

About five years ago, I began having incidents where my heart would start to beat harder and faster than normal. I was working nights in a grocery store at the time and I used the blood pressure test machine there the first couple of times it happened. First time my BP was like 180/110 and my pulse was at least 170. I freaked out and went to the ER. They ran EKG and did some blood work. The doctor told me that it wasn't a heart attack, probably just a panic attack.

Ok, fine. The same thing happens at work again the next night. I go to my urgent care center and explain the situation to them. They end up giving me xanax. This works pretty well for calming me down while I'm having the attacks, but nothing seems to stop the actual build-up. I end up quitting that about six months after the first attack.

At my new job, things are fine for about a year and a half. I had quit smoking for a few months, but hey, I feel fine, so I start again. I get a second job bouncing at a bar 2 to 3 nights a week, where I smoke about a pack in 6 hours, on top of the pack I smoke during the day. I work at the bar for about a year with absolutely no problems.

I have another attack at the new job, while in the middle of some fairly intense physical work. Doctors just give me xanax and an anti-depressant. I quit smoking at this point(it lasts a 1 1/2 years). The anti-depressant makes me feel like **** so I stop taking it. It doesn't take long before I'm having attacks every day again. My resting pulse has become pretty high, in the 100 range. I've begun to put on weight.

The doctor never wanted to put me on medication for the blood pressure because I was "too young" to start taking blood pressure medication. I go in for a sinus infection and my blood pressure is 190/100. The doctor tells me to come back in a week to get re-checked. I feel terrible the next day and check my blood pressure. It's still around 190/100, relaxing at home. I go back to the doctor and pretty much demand to be put on medication. They do.

Over the next year, I change my diet drastically, I'm eating healthier foods, but I'm also eating more. I gain about 100 pounds in a 1 1/2 years. Blood pressure and pulse are pretty good. My anxiety level drops slowly but steadily and I stop having attacks. One night, I wake up feeling odd and my heart starts racing and beating hard. I go to the doctor and they still say it's just anxiety.

I've had quite a few EKGs at this point and I went to a cardiologist that did a sonogram on my heart. The nurse said that there was some "seepage from my valves, but nothing unusual for some one my age". They gave me a heart monitor to wear for a month, and of course I had no incidents.

It's been about 2 years since then, and I've lost the 100 pounds again. My regular blood pressure, even on days that I smoke is around 120/70 and my pulse hangs around 60. For the last 2 weeks I've been having attacks again. I will wake at some time between 2 and 4 in the morning and my heart will beat hard(it doesn't really race as fast as it used to anymore), and I can feel my blood pressure go way up. I can also feel adrenaline coursing through my body. My heart does not hurt during these incidents, but I do get short of breath and my limbs, left arm in particular, feel odd. More of an achy feeling than any kind of sharp pain. I am freezing cold and shaky afterward. I haven't had a cigarette in two weeks now, and I was only smoking like 5 a day before this started happening anyways. I've been coping with my day-to-day anxiety really well, but these attacks scare the hell out of me, and they're getting worse. I was able to talk myself out of a couple of them, but the one I had about an hour ago is the worst so far. This has happened every night except for 2 in the last 2 - 3 weeks.

So what do you think? Just anxiety?

[zenone]

come on.. You are prone to anxiety and just quit smoking.. It's called withdrawls they happen if you smoke 5 or 20 a day..  

[Graceland39]

Did you manage to find help?

I think I have the same problem. I looked it up and I think I may have panic disorder, and my symptoms sound exactly like yours. I have been to the doctor thinking my heart was going to stop only to be told it's fine.

When I have an attack it comes out of nowhere and it feels like Im going to pass out or my heart is going to stop, to make myself feel better I have to monitor my heart to check it's still beating and if I'm in a public place I usually have to leave through fear of collapsing or even dying in front of everyone. Logically I know just because I leave the situation, or concentrate on my heart beat that that wouldn't prevent it stopping. I also realize that to date my heart hasnt stopeed and I havent collapsed, but then when you are in the middle of an attack you lose that rationality and for me, each attack feels like "this time" - this time I am definately having a heart attack.

Its so rubbish. Im so sick of worrying about my heart and I have a panic attack over it almost everyday now.

[mmmxiii]

The therapist I talked to didn't really help. I have no idea what I was anxious about when I had my first attack, but I'm fairly certain that all of my anxiety since then has been from the fear of having another attack. As far as trusting my doctor, I do. Unfortunately, when fear takes over, you question what you knew to be true when you weren't anxious.

I've gotten a lot better at defusing the actual attacks, they barely last a minute anymore. It's the build-up that I can't really control. I have a bad habit of "checking in", which is basically just constantly asking myself if I'm okay. I pay entirely too much attention to my pulse and any tiny pain anywhere in my body becomes the sign of something major.

The only reason that I'm asking if it could be anything worse is to confirm what I think is true, that it's just anxiety. Reading about other people's similar experiences is very helpful with this.

[cj29]

Throughout all of this, have you sought help for your anxiety?  Have you talked it over with a therapist?  If your doctors are not concerned, then in my opinion, you should trust them.  Why not go see a psychologist or a counselor that specializes in anxiety?  Quite often, a little knowledge about this can go a long way in confronting it in my experience.