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Anxiety or whatever this is in full swing after cocaine

Hi, im 23 years old and i've had anxiety since i was 16 years old from a bad molly roll i did back then, pressure in the head, thick tightness in my chest, denationalization , the whole 9. It Ended up going away after about 6 or 7 months.Got my life back was able to go out with friends and enjoyed all the things i was able to do again. I was given a second chance. I Pretty much swore off all drugs for the most part, i pretty much only drank since the and i occasionally smoked some weed to fall asleep. few years later i tried molly again at a party. Same exact experience, horrible panic constantly, scared of absolutely everything horrible denationalization. i was put on prozac and xanax which i swore i would never do and was starting to get back to myself again with that and knowing what to do from the previous time (knowing its all in my head,being able to turn it off with concentration ect ect). Since Then i pretty much conquered my Anxiety and ive lived a normal life since then (i was about 19). Nothing scared me i was able to do anything i wanted to. The cockiness got to my head and i began doing some coke with friends on rare occasion, I'm talking like maybe a dozen time in the last two years. Yea i know I'm probably the biggest dipshit alive. Anyway, The Last time i did it was a bout 3 weeks ago. i was at a show with some friends and did little more then i usually do/was also drinking at the time. probably did 4 or 5 lines (i usually only do one or two max. needless to say i was actually fine at the show no issues didn't freak out or have a panic attack at all. the next day i went home and i was on an awful hangover from both the drinking and drugs. just felt super out of it but not really anxious until the next night when at about 9 o clock i had what i think was the worst panic attack i think I've ever had. Everything was hot, nothing could calm me down none of my techniques have worked, trembling , Shaking, Feeling Freezing and also burning at the same time. i know alot of those sound like withdraw symptoms but I'm Almost a month in and i still feel all of these symptoms. The Tightness in my chest is unbearable, the pressure in my head is unbearable. i have chills that run thru my arms and back up my neck. Absolutely nothing is enjoyable to me at all, everything i loved doing every tv show ive loved every band i love gives me 0 joy. im scared of going to work im scared of coming home every minute of my life i am just absolutely terrified cause nothing helps this at all. i feel like i just went o far this time and i ruined myself, this is is. this is the end. i started taking GABA and L-Theanine to help with my neurotransmitters but they are mediocre at best. i just have no grasp of what to do. ive never felt something so powerful before. to make matters worse i live about 1000 miles away from all my family and most of my freinds. Is This it? am i ever gonna feel ANYTHING again? There is no way this is normal. I just want to be excited to go home or excited to work. i Feel nothing but what i think i the worst anxiety ive ever had that no matter what i do i cannot escape from.  
4 Responses
Avatar universal
And An Hour laster as i got done i slowly started to feel better, i know I'm Still on the brink and i want to go see someone but its nice to have a moment of clarity. least i know i will be able to get a hold on this. or i hope
Avatar universal
Man I wish they could do something about these spammers.  Oh well.  This is just my opinion, but what I think happens with some people is that they are prone to developing an anxiety disorder and recreational drugs that alter reality bring it out.  It also seems to be something that happens to folks as they get older.  I grew up in the Sixties and Seventies, when pretty much everyone started doing drugs, but by the time we all reached our late twenties/early thirties everyone had cut down to almost nothing or stopped altogether.  Maybe adulthood in  a society as materialistic as ours just stresses people out too much, I don't know.  I'm not sure  it's the drugs themselves, but what's inside us that being stoned brings out of us that might never have come out if we hadn't used drugs or that might have come out no matter what.  Maybe it takes a mild episodic problem and turns it into a chronic one.  Whatever the reason you just can't do drugs anymore.  Once that demon anxiety sets in and we know what it feels like, it's really easy for it to take hold of us and last beyond the time we're stoned.  We all know people who got paranoid while stoned on something who just didn't do it anymore and never had a problem, which is why I think you probably had some part of you that was prone to this.  Doesn't really matter, now that it's here, and keeps being triggered by the same behavior, you seem to in time get over it as long as you don't do the drugs.  One thing, you mention withdrawal -- were you referring to having recently stopped taking those meds you mentioned?  You don't get withdrawal from one night of taking drugs.  You get a hangover or you plug into feelings stirred up.  The thing is, once you're scared of using drugs, it's much more likely when you do use them the fear will intensify.  It's what you expect to happen and so it happens.  I'd think at this point of getting into therapy with a therapist who specializes in anxiety treatment -- most don't -- learn some relaxation techniques and about how we who have anxiety think and how to change it, and wait it out as it appears for you it does go away every time this happens.  Hopefully this will happen again.  But having happened this many times, therapy might be a way to change up the part of you that is prone to this happening.  And for you, drugs that stimulate you too much just aren't working out.  If they're not fun, why do them?  Peace.
Thanks for getting back to me. as i type this dripping from sweat from barley being able to sleep last night, i appreciate the input and i think you are correct, i gotta stop this cycle and thinking i am always gonna be okay cause obviously i am not. im trying my hardest to stay positive about this but in reality im utterly terrified, yes it has always gone away in the paast but the difference being i was able to calm myself down an work thru it, now that seems impossible. it just doesn't work like it used too. and no i didnt mean im having withdraw from that one time, i was just saying that i know some of the symptoms sound like withdraw, but it isn't. the way i see it is something in my brain chemistry drastically changed or this anxiety is just so bad that i am unable to function. i hope to get help as soon as i can. Thank you for taking the time to respond and feel free too again if you want.  
This is unfortunately how anxiety works -- the more often we get anxiety attacks the more we assume we're going to get anxiety attacks until we talk ourselves into a chronic problem.  Nobody knows why some are susceptible to this while most aren't, but it is what it is.  Exercise, meditate, you've been there before.  But as this keeps happening, I do think therapy would help you at this point.  You really don't want a chronic problem, trust me.  The quicker you intervene the better chance you have to avoid it.  From what you say about your past, I think you'll be okay.
973741 tn?1342346373
In all sincerity, if doing drugs triggers anxiety, why do it?  And friends who do coke, get high, etc. . . . at 23 you could be much more productive. We all like to kick back and have fun, relax, etc. but drug users often aren't the people moving forward in life.  Think career, setting yourself up financially, finding meaning and fulfillment.  This could be an epiphany that you are meant for better things.  I say that in all seriousness.  

If you have anxiety, it's treatable.  First step is telling your doctor.  No, you don't have to say everything you say here as to triggers if that makes you uncomfortable but you can tell them that you have symptoms of anxiety if they persist even after you hopefully give up the partying life.

I have a really good friend who used to love a nice glass of wine.  Just one . . . but she really enjoyed it. She developed alcohol intolerance where she'd flush and be uncomfortable after one sip.  It is sort of like an allergy.  She no longer enjoys her one glass of wine or ANY alcohol.  It just doesn't agree with her. This is similar in my opinion.  good luck
And drug users often are the most productive people in life.  It's an individual thing, really.  William Faulkner drank a quart of liquor a day, and I'm guessing none of us has produced what he did.  The Greeks and Romans drank a lot of wine and invented western civilization while doing it.  When America was becoming what it became, the alcohol intake was prodigious.  I don't say this to recommend living like this, it's not for me, and if you're an anxiety sufferer it's probably not for you, but I'm also not one for prohibition or austerity.  Different strokes for different folks.  
Stand by my advice 100 percent. Wish the poster well. Stay away from drugs and alcohol as it doesn't appear to be working for you.
1238554 tn?1339423716
I relate to your situation all too well. My first panic attack was during a time I took ecstasy, and after that my life completely changed. I spent 6 months being terrified of everything, thinking I was dying, unable to sleep or eat or function. I couldn't see straight and felt like I was in a dream all the time. It was terrifying and I thought I had ruined my life forever; I couldn't imagine living that way for the rest of my life. I had so much regret and I wouldn't wish those feelings on anyone. I was 25 at the time, I'm 34 now.

It gets better, I promise. It's scary and difficult and I know it feels hopeless right now, but it's not. I've had to modify my life; no drugs, very little alcohol, I'm on medication, go to therapy, do yoga, and I have learned my triggers. Sometimes it's frustrating to not be able to do all the things I want, but I don't even want to take the chance of going through what I went through again. I very rarely have panic attacks now, but I do have to be conscious of my sleep, stress, etc.

During those 6 months I got to feeling better, and then backslid a bit. That was frustrating, but it's normal. There is no magic cure, but there are so many things you can try to get better. Take care of you, do the work, and hang in there.
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