Anxiety over HIV/AIDS! lasting over a month

[clash16]

Hey everyone,
i just came across this board and it has helped me so far extremely- i've seen many questions that are similar to mine but i still feel like i need to post it.

Over the summer i had just broken up with my first boyfriend- who i'm now currently back together with. I had had a lot of anxiety/panic/depression problems but was feeling better and saw two different guys during the summer. The first guy was a 16 year old british boy who told me after we had "been together" that he was a virgin and had only messed around with one other girl- who had cheated on him. Anyways i had unprotected oral sex with him and i didnt worry.
The other guy i was had been with a good amount of girls but we had protected sex and only breifly messed around otherwise. anyways last month i read an article on AIDS/HIV and i immediatley became horrified that i had contracted it. i felt extremely guilty because i really love my boyfriend im with now. i went to get tested but needed a note from my doctor- i've been to afraid to go back and get it.im too scared its going to be bad news. ive been driving myself and my bf crazy for  over a month now and i feel debilitated both by the idea of having the disease or even going and getting a test. im just so worried i dont know what to do.

[Carol A]

Why did you need a note from your doctor to get an AIDS test?

Carol

[suzi-q]

Get the test done!  The fear of the unknown is so much worse than the known...As I have stated before to other posts is that HIV is very hard to contract if through oral or vaginal sex.  You would have had to had an open sore either in your mouth or in your vagina.  The way to contract HIV is blood to blood or bodily fluids to blood.  I would think that you are fine, but still get the test done anyway...I was a virgin and was convinced that I had HIV! (LONG TIME AGO AND A VERY LONG STORY!)  I was not put at ease until I was tested.  Those who suffer from anxiety need to have things "proven" to them (and sometimes that doesn't even work!)  I think much of your anxiety is due to feeling guilty about your boyfriend.  Let that go.....the past is the past.  

[spade22]

Your risk for contracting HIV from your exposure was very minimal (and that assumes your partners were HIV+).
If you post in the HIV forum you will be able to get a better idea of the actual odds and I guareentee people there will say you will not test positive.

You need to go and get the test results.  Once you have done so, you will be able to move on with your life.