Aa
Anxiety without a cause?
Sounds like a movie title.. But can you have anxiety and not know what is causing it? I mean do people get the feelings of anxiety and not know where they are coming from? I understand some people get anxiety when they fly in an airplane (like me). Some get it when storms are coming. Some when they have to give a speech etc.. But can you have it, and not have a known cause?
And a good title it is! They could cast each and every one of us from this forum! I, naturally, would play the ingenue part. Oh, wait.........at 56 I think I'd be cast in the "older woman" part........damn! But I smell an Oscar here...................
The answer to your question is YES. Anxiety and panic can sneak in, pour a can of whoop *** on us and disappear into the night. It's one of the most frightening and maddening aspects of our "condition." But most of us have learned, or are learning, that anxiety ALWAYS has a cause and one which we often have no clue about. Until, that is, we start to excavate our lives.
If I'm getting the correct gut feeling from your post, this anxiety is something new to you. If that is the case, go back to the time just before you first experienced this anxiety and have a really good look around at what was going on in your life at that time. It could be a hundred things............new job, new kid, new g/f, new marriage, new divorce, new house, old job, old kid, old g/f, old marriage..........you get the drift. You may think that none of these could cause your anxiety, but they can. They can sit and fester silently under on day you have some really disturbing feelings, either physically or mentally, (or both) and wonder what the hell is going on.
There is SOMETHING in your life that is causing this. Now you have to do some work and figure out what that is.
You didn't describe any of your symptoms, or if you're on any meds for them. Have you seen your doc about this? There are some medical conditions that can mimic anxiety and/or panic symptoms, so a good medical check-up would be a good place to start to rule out a boatload of possibilites. If you end up with a diagnose of anxiety, your options are nearly endless. Meds and therapy, alone or in conjunction, can help you get to the root of your anxiety.
Let us know a bit more about why you asked this question.
I'm glad you found us. This is a great place to hang if you're dealing with anxiety issues.
Take some time, lurk around, read some of the posts and just by doing that, I think you will begin to relax a little. Trust me, you are SO not alone out there!
Peace
Greenlydia
The answer to your question is YES. Anxiety and panic can sneak in, pour a can of whoop *** on us and disappear into the night. It's one of the most frightening and maddening aspects of our "condition." But most of us have learned, or are learning, that anxiety ALWAYS has a cause and one which we often have no clue about. Until, that is, we start to excavate our lives.
If I'm getting the correct gut feeling from your post, this anxiety is something new to you. If that is the case, go back to the time just before you first experienced this anxiety and have a really good look around at what was going on in your life at that time. It could be a hundred things............new job, new kid, new g/f, new marriage, new divorce, new house, old job, old kid, old g/f, old marriage..........you get the drift. You may think that none of these could cause your anxiety, but they can. They can sit and fester silently under on day you have some really disturbing feelings, either physically or mentally, (or both) and wonder what the hell is going on.
There is SOMETHING in your life that is causing this. Now you have to do some work and figure out what that is.
You didn't describe any of your symptoms, or if you're on any meds for them. Have you seen your doc about this? There are some medical conditions that can mimic anxiety and/or panic symptoms, so a good medical check-up would be a good place to start to rule out a boatload of possibilites. If you end up with a diagnose of anxiety, your options are nearly endless. Meds and therapy, alone or in conjunction, can help you get to the root of your anxiety.
Let us know a bit more about why you asked this question.
I'm glad you found us. This is a great place to hang if you're dealing with anxiety issues.
Take some time, lurk around, read some of the posts and just by doing that, I think you will begin to relax a little. Trust me, you are SO not alone out there!
Peace
Greenlydia
1 Comments
Thank you so much for this reassuring post! It helps me a lot!
And yes she is on Paxil for depression. But again she wont take it consistently because "it doesn't do anything"..
SO FRUSTRATING!!!
SO FRUSTRATING!!!
Thank you all for your posts..
I re-read the note last night it actually said HELP! not HELP ME! (a little different I think). I purposely read it in front of her to let her know I saw it and maybe force some conversation but she just said "that's a little alarming" and claimed to not remember writing it (said she was drunk). She did go on to say she was brainstorming and probably just wrote it because of how she felt (tight chest).
I wish I could get her on this site or another like it but she refuses. That is one of things that is so FRUSTRATING about this.. She doesn't seem to want to do ANYTHING but take Alprazolam. Which is what leads me to the think maybe she doesn't have anxiety as bad as she claims.. Maybe just an addiction.. AGAIN SO FRUSTRATING.. How am I supposed to help when I do not even know the real deal..
She has an appointment with a psychiatrist and a counselor. I told her I wanted to go with her to make sure her doc knows about her "problem" with alprazolam. She got pretty upset with me.. Told me not to talk to her anymore.. That I am going to "screw her out of her chance to feel better".. I asked "don't you just want to get rid of your anxiety, what do you care which meds you get?" She said nothing works like the alprazolam. I suggested if that is the case maybe the doc and just give her a weeks worth at a time.. She didn't like that either.
She works real hard at trying to keep me out of "her business" and I feel like she is my daughter not my wife (she feels the same way sometimes). I know she will end up getting some from somewhere. I know her and know how when she's desperate for something she will get it.. It is ALL so frustrating!!
Are there any tests out there that can check for anxiety? I mean to make sure someone has it and not just an addiction?
I re-read the note last night it actually said HELP! not HELP ME! (a little different I think). I purposely read it in front of her to let her know I saw it and maybe force some conversation but she just said "that's a little alarming" and claimed to not remember writing it (said she was drunk). She did go on to say she was brainstorming and probably just wrote it because of how she felt (tight chest).
I wish I could get her on this site or another like it but she refuses. That is one of things that is so FRUSTRATING about this.. She doesn't seem to want to do ANYTHING but take Alprazolam. Which is what leads me to the think maybe she doesn't have anxiety as bad as she claims.. Maybe just an addiction.. AGAIN SO FRUSTRATING.. How am I supposed to help when I do not even know the real deal..
She has an appointment with a psychiatrist and a counselor. I told her I wanted to go with her to make sure her doc knows about her "problem" with alprazolam. She got pretty upset with me.. Told me not to talk to her anymore.. That I am going to "screw her out of her chance to feel better".. I asked "don't you just want to get rid of your anxiety, what do you care which meds you get?" She said nothing works like the alprazolam. I suggested if that is the case maybe the doc and just give her a weeks worth at a time.. She didn't like that either.
She works real hard at trying to keep me out of "her business" and I feel like she is my daughter not my wife (she feels the same way sometimes). I know she will end up getting some from somewhere. I know her and know how when she's desperate for something she will get it.. It is ALL so frustrating!!
Are there any tests out there that can check for anxiety? I mean to make sure someone has it and not just an addiction?
Thank you for the suggestions about finding a therapist. After all these years, I think I'm ready to give that a try.
sleeplesss
sleeplesss
In my personal experience, I suffer from severe anxiety and don't know where it comes from. I've always been a caffeine junkie and it was untill my latest rounds of panic that I noticed the affect coffee was having on me. I don't know if it would be the route of your wifes anxiety but it could be aggravating it.
Also I can understand the letter she left. I feel like my anxiety goes in waves...one minute i'm fine, the next i'm terrible and just wish that it would stop. Its getting to the bottom of the barrel, where it sounds like she is, and having to fight your way up again that is the most difficult part for me. I find that talking with someone i trust and getting all those thoughts out, or having a good cry on someones shoulder, and hearing someone else say that i'll be fine and remind me it's just a panic attack gets me over the hurdle. it really helps to have a support system...and you must be one hell of a husband!
She could also be dealing with depression as well, where i would suggest a therapist and, possibly, medication. Have you asked her to join this forum? its been helping me and maybe if she talked to others that are feeling the same way she is it might help her.
I hope everything works out for her...she's nowhere near alone.
Also I can understand the letter she left. I feel like my anxiety goes in waves...one minute i'm fine, the next i'm terrible and just wish that it would stop. Its getting to the bottom of the barrel, where it sounds like she is, and having to fight your way up again that is the most difficult part for me. I find that talking with someone i trust and getting all those thoughts out, or having a good cry on someones shoulder, and hearing someone else say that i'll be fine and remind me it's just a panic attack gets me over the hurdle. it really helps to have a support system...and you must be one hell of a husband!
She could also be dealing with depression as well, where i would suggest a therapist and, possibly, medication. Have you asked her to join this forum? its been helping me and maybe if she talked to others that are feeling the same way she is it might help her.
I hope everything works out for her...she's nowhere near alone.
"What about caffiene? Do you think someone that weighs about 115 lbs and is about 5' 6" drinking a 2 liter bottle of regular Coca-Cola everyday might have some feelings of anxiety?"
ABSOLUTELY, without a doubt, positively the caffeine can cause anxiety symptoms! The sugar in the coke can also cause anxiety issues (as a result of temporarily raising blood sugar levels).
ABSOLUTELY, without a doubt, positively the caffeine can cause anxiety symptoms! The sugar in the coke can also cause anxiety issues (as a result of temporarily raising blood sugar levels).
Thats what makes it so scarey. If something specific made me nervous than I know to expect it and I'll know why I feel anxious. But what makes it so scarey is when you dont expect it and it comes on for no reason out of no where. Thats the worse!! Thats my anxiety and panic alllllll the time.
You can find a good therapist many ways. Ask your doctor to refer you to someone. If they don't have anyone, you can call the Health Department. Or, you can contact a teaching University in your area, if your lucky to have one, they, too, can refer you. You can call a local hospital and ask to speak with either a Patient Advocate or someone in Social Services............these folks have a wealth of information at their fingertips. Sometimes there is a listing in your phone book for referrals to every sort of doctor out there. I would use this as a last resort, but I did find the best dentist I've ever had thru them. (I really believe your doc will know someone) Once you find a therapist and get "in the system" so to speak, it is very easy to then find someone who specializes in the treatment of anxiety problems.
I have tried all three and have found relief, at various times, with each of them. My biggest break throughs though came when I was under the care of a psychiatrist. And I felt better being with him because he was also able to help me with medication so I didn't have to jump back and forth between docs...........kind of a "one stop shopping" if you will. If I was having difficulty with a med, I knew that I could discuss it with him that same week rather than wait two weeks for an appt. with my PC and then wait for the two of them to fax **** back and forth, meanwhile feeling like a ping pong ball out of the loop. And lose the myth that if you see a shrink, you'll be there for the rest of your life. That's the stuff of movies! As is the couch! It's entirely possible that you will make the breakthrough you need in just a few sessions, and then you can work the plan you and your shrink have come up with. And if you feel yourself slipping backwards or not moving forwards, you can go back. It's just like all the meds we talk about on this forum.........everyone is different, everyone has different experiences, what works for you may not work for me............and vice versa. And what took 2 months to work for me may have only taken 3 weeks to work for you. Try to keep your expectations to a minimum. Keep your mind open, and your eye on the goal.
I'm so proud of you for seeking out this information. It's such a very healthy sign!
Peace
Greenlydia
I have tried all three and have found relief, at various times, with each of them. My biggest break throughs though came when I was under the care of a psychiatrist. And I felt better being with him because he was also able to help me with medication so I didn't have to jump back and forth between docs...........kind of a "one stop shopping" if you will. If I was having difficulty with a med, I knew that I could discuss it with him that same week rather than wait two weeks for an appt. with my PC and then wait for the two of them to fax **** back and forth, meanwhile feeling like a ping pong ball out of the loop. And lose the myth that if you see a shrink, you'll be there for the rest of your life. That's the stuff of movies! As is the couch! It's entirely possible that you will make the breakthrough you need in just a few sessions, and then you can work the plan you and your shrink have come up with. And if you feel yourself slipping backwards or not moving forwards, you can go back. It's just like all the meds we talk about on this forum.........everyone is different, everyone has different experiences, what works for you may not work for me............and vice versa. And what took 2 months to work for me may have only taken 3 weeks to work for you. Try to keep your expectations to a minimum. Keep your mind open, and your eye on the goal.
I'm so proud of you for seeking out this information. It's such a very healthy sign!
Peace
Greenlydia
You say you have GAD but have no idea where it's coming from. I think if you really clean out those inner closets of yours, you'll find a few clues. I highly recommend you hire yourself a guide in the form of a therapist.
quote
Food for thought. How do you find a therapist that is trained in anxiety treatment? And, are you talking about a counsellor, or a pyschologist, or a shrink?
quote
Food for thought. How do you find a therapist that is trained in anxiety treatment? And, are you talking about a counsellor, or a pyschologist, or a shrink?
Oh my...........you are in a pickle! And I do NOT mean to make light of your problem, and you, or rather, your wife, has the problem. That you are so willing to help you'd even take on her anxiety is amazing. There is nobody on this forum who would wish our various conditions on ANYONE!
First of all, I think your wife is in a total state of denial. Not uncommon for those of us with anxiety issues.........at least until we reach the point of wanting our lives back, so sometimes, kicking and screaming, we accept we have issues, not just symptoms, and then we begin the journey to figure out what they are and deal with them so we can recover.
STOP RIGHT HERE!!!!!!! I just looked up and noticed that you had posted again regarding the coke thing and then you wrote that you found a notepad this morning with "HELP ME" written in big letters. I am fearing that this is getting out of my league to deal with. I personally think your wife MAY be in danger of a serious meltdown, the results of which could be disasterous. I firmly believe you need to get your wife some help, as I'm sure you would agree, but if she won't help herself, how do we get that help for her????????????? PLEASE, stay on the board! I am going to ask someone I believe can help you better talk with you. Hang on................
Greenlydia
First of all, I think your wife is in a total state of denial. Not uncommon for those of us with anxiety issues.........at least until we reach the point of wanting our lives back, so sometimes, kicking and screaming, we accept we have issues, not just symptoms, and then we begin the journey to figure out what they are and deal with them so we can recover.
STOP RIGHT HERE!!!!!!! I just looked up and noticed that you had posted again regarding the coke thing and then you wrote that you found a notepad this morning with "HELP ME" written in big letters. I am fearing that this is getting out of my league to deal with. I personally think your wife MAY be in danger of a serious meltdown, the results of which could be disasterous. I firmly believe you need to get your wife some help, as I'm sure you would agree, but if she won't help herself, how do we get that help for her????????????? PLEASE, stay on the board! I am going to ask someone I believe can help you better talk with you. Hang on................
Greenlydia
Hi Toots! How ya doin'?
OK, you can have the part of the "older woman!" I myself, will then take the part of the beautiful, highly intelligent "older sister!"
You have asked me a question that would take me days to answer, so I will give you the short version. Yes, I HAVE found the answer to my anxiety/panic/PTSD through therapy, coupled with years and years of self-learning, self-teaching, soul searching...........meds, yoga, blood sweat and tears, you name it.
How have I learned to cope with it? Wow, that's a big question. I have no one, single, magic "cope" button. For me, it is still pretty much a day to day job that I take on, much as I do feeding the goats and chickens or ignoring the laundry. Finding the cause of your anxiety is really just the beginning of your journey to recovery. It's like driving up to the trailhead..........you now know what the trail looks like and in which direction you need to go, but the climb is still in front of you. I am still climbing. But each of us has a different path to navigate, some have steeper climbs than others and we each take with us what we think we will need to reach the top with the least amount of pain. Knowing, understanding, forgiving, disclosing, meds.........these are a few of the things that help me cope.
You say you have GAD but have no idea where it's coming from. I think if you really clean out those inner closets of yours, you'll find a few clues. I highly recommend you hire yourself a guide in the form of a therapist. It's amazing the cobwebs they can see that we no longer do.
Life has been great for me as well, yet I still haul the millstone around my neck..........it gets smaller all the time and I live for the day I can take it off forever. Don't allow your GAD to continue to puzzle you. The answer is inside you. Search and destroy!
Peace
Greenlydia
OK, you can have the part of the "older woman!" I myself, will then take the part of the beautiful, highly intelligent "older sister!"
You have asked me a question that would take me days to answer, so I will give you the short version. Yes, I HAVE found the answer to my anxiety/panic/PTSD through therapy, coupled with years and years of self-learning, self-teaching, soul searching...........meds, yoga, blood sweat and tears, you name it.
How have I learned to cope with it? Wow, that's a big question. I have no one, single, magic "cope" button. For me, it is still pretty much a day to day job that I take on, much as I do feeding the goats and chickens or ignoring the laundry. Finding the cause of your anxiety is really just the beginning of your journey to recovery. It's like driving up to the trailhead..........you now know what the trail looks like and in which direction you need to go, but the climb is still in front of you. I am still climbing. But each of us has a different path to navigate, some have steeper climbs than others and we each take with us what we think we will need to reach the top with the least amount of pain. Knowing, understanding, forgiving, disclosing, meds.........these are a few of the things that help me cope.
You say you have GAD but have no idea where it's coming from. I think if you really clean out those inner closets of yours, you'll find a few clues. I highly recommend you hire yourself a guide in the form of a therapist. It's amazing the cobwebs they can see that we no longer do.
Life has been great for me as well, yet I still haul the millstone around my neck..........it gets smaller all the time and I live for the day I can take it off forever. Don't allow your GAD to continue to puzzle you. The answer is inside you. Search and destroy!
Peace
Greenlydia
"Can you try NOT drinking it for a few days and see if that helps your anxiety? "
Makes sense to me.. But she REFUSES this to be an issue. She will not even slow down, she drinks one Coke right after the other. She won't even consider that caffiene is a problem. Won't even cut down for 1 day!
Maybe I just WANT it to be the problem, I don't know. I am so frustrated with this condition.. Maybe I am just looking too hard. Maybe I just need to deal with it until she figures it out.I fix things for a living and it is just in my nature to find the cause of problems and FIX them.
I found a notepad this morning where she wrote "HELP ME!" in big letters (not meant for me to find). I just don't know what to do.. And I am not sure if she even wants me to help. In fact she has told me "I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP" but I am not sure if she was on meds at the time or not.
Makes sense to me.. But she REFUSES this to be an issue. She will not even slow down, she drinks one Coke right after the other. She won't even consider that caffiene is a problem. Won't even cut down for 1 day!
Maybe I just WANT it to be the problem, I don't know. I am so frustrated with this condition.. Maybe I am just looking too hard. Maybe I just need to deal with it until she figures it out.I fix things for a living and it is just in my nature to find the cause of problems and FIX them.
I found a notepad this morning where she wrote "HELP ME!" in big letters (not meant for me to find). I just don't know what to do.. And I am not sure if she even wants me to help. In fact she has told me "I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP" but I am not sure if she was on meds at the time or not.
The coke question..........HMMM. If you are use to drinking that much on a daily basis, and have been doing it for quite some time, in my humble opinion, I don't thnk that would be causing your anxiety. But that is simply a guess. I have based that on my own coffee consumption which is roughly 4-5 cups every morning. After that, I don't drink any more coffee during the day. If someone brings me a triplemochalattechocolatewhipcreamdon'tsparethehorses beverage as a "gift" because I'm looking a wee bit tired, I will suck that puppy down with gusto and then wait for the unpleasant heart palpitations to kick into high gear! They never fail me. I can set my watch by their arrival. I can then get down to the business of trying to prevent myself from going into a full blown panic attack because, naturally, I'm sure I'm heading straight on, full tilt boogy for a heart attack! So, for ME, caffiene can and does cause anxiety when I go over my tolerated dosage. Can you try NOT drinking it for a few days and see if that helps your anxiety? And don't switch to Mt.Dew! BAAAAAD move, that. Drink gobs of water and juices. But be aware that stopping the caffiene cold turkey can and probably will give you monster headaches, which you won't die from, you'll just wish you could. Like any addictive substance, you must taper yourself slowly. Xanax withdrawl I can speak with authority about.........the coke, not so much. I would possibly suggest you toss back a good couple jiggers of the brew and the next time the urge comes to get you, drink some water or juice in it's place. Keep cutting down until you've pretty much stopped the cokeaholism. Just a thought.
Good luck
Greenlydia
Good luck
Greenlydia
Thanks Greenlydia, Actually I am not the one with the anxiety. My wife is. I wish I did have it so I could help her through hers. I wish I could take it all away from her! I would gladly take ALL OF IT!
She was on meds but couldn't take them properly, she just wanted to get wasted on them.. VERY frustrating for those of us who love her. Now I am just trying to do whatever I can to help her..
She has had many deaths in her family. Actually, She says she remembers the exact moment that it hit her (at least 4 years ago). But it has not gone away. I ask her if/what she is thinking about that brings it on, she says nothing. I ask her if she has it when she first wakes up, never really get an answer.. She consumes A LOT of caffiene every day ALL day, so, I suggest to her that she cools that down a little.. She refuses, says thats not the problem. Of course I say, maybe not THE problem but it certainly must contribute, it is a stimulant..But she still refuses to even try caffiene free soda.
I just wish I knew what was causing it so I could try to help. She has been to a therapist (didn't help any). The only thing that makes it go away is meds or alcohol. Neither are long term solutions. I just feel helpless.. Sometimes I think maybe she just likes the buzz from the meds. Maybe she has a little anxiety but mostly just wants the buzz. I don't know...
She was on meds but couldn't take them properly, she just wanted to get wasted on them.. VERY frustrating for those of us who love her. Now I am just trying to do whatever I can to help her..
She has had many deaths in her family. Actually, She says she remembers the exact moment that it hit her (at least 4 years ago). But it has not gone away. I ask her if/what she is thinking about that brings it on, she says nothing. I ask her if she has it when she first wakes up, never really get an answer.. She consumes A LOT of caffiene every day ALL day, so, I suggest to her that she cools that down a little.. She refuses, says thats not the problem. Of course I say, maybe not THE problem but it certainly must contribute, it is a stimulant..But she still refuses to even try caffiene free soda.
I just wish I knew what was causing it so I could try to help. She has been to a therapist (didn't help any). The only thing that makes it go away is meds or alcohol. Neither are long term solutions. I just feel helpless.. Sometimes I think maybe she just likes the buzz from the meds. Maybe she has a little anxiety but mostly just wants the buzz. I don't know...
I would have to battle it out with you for the part in the movie playing the "older woman".
So I wondered, have you found thru therapy the cause of your anxiety yourself? If so, how have you learned to cope with it? I also have GAD, but nothing comes to mind as to WHY. I'm sure there IS a why, but life is great right now, so it is puzzling to me.
So I wondered, have you found thru therapy the cause of your anxiety yourself? If so, how have you learned to cope with it? I also have GAD, but nothing comes to mind as to WHY. I'm sure there IS a why, but life is great right now, so it is puzzling to me.
What about caffiene? Do you think someone that weighs about 115 lbs and is about 5' 6" drinking a 2 liter bottle of regular Coca-Cola everyday might have some feelings of anxiety?
Yep you can have anxiety and not be aware of the specific cause. Many of us don't discover what causes our anxiety until we have been to a therapist to help us sort it out. That's what makes GAD ( Generalized anxiety disorder) such a puzzle sometimes. It can be tough working through what makes us anxious but with work, therapy, medication if needed and some self understanding we usually get to the root of the problem.
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