Anxious of throwing up? Need answers

[emmaweaver]

Hello, I've been feeling hopeless for awhile and I stumbled upon this website and now I'm hopeful maybe I can get some answers. I'm 14 years old and I'm pretty aware of my health issues, I have an anxiety disorder and depression. But starting in November 2007, my fear of throwing up and getting sick in public has spiraled out of control. I was 9 years old, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting in my gym class and I was playing with my hands... and I remember I wasn't paying much attention, but I was silent so I didn't think I was making much of a disturbance, but I guess so. The gym teacher I had wasn't too nice, a bit too hard on fourth graders, so I'd always had a problem with him. In short, he was a freaking jerk. But he kind of raised his voice at me and said "Will you stop?!" In front of the whole entire gym class, and knowing me, I was humiliated. He then went into a 15 minute lecture on how we should pay more attention. After he was done scolding me, I asked him to get a drink back and I got back a jerky "Haha. Nope." But my throat was dry.. so then I started worrying. I tried to ask him again and got the same answer, and by then I started getting anxious so I asked if I could go to the nurse. I've always been afraid of throwing up but gagging was the worst. I was in fear that I was going to so I asked to leave. Same answer. and then my throat was so dry I gagged. In front of everyone. Obviously he let me go to the nurse and after a few minutes I was alright. But it seemed to me my throat was just getting drier and drier every time I went, so the drinks (without asking) were more frequent. But then he started to scold me when I would go, so I started gagging again. I then thought that maybe if I brought a water bottle in I wouldn't have to ask to get drinks. This really made him mad and he would always tell me to put it down. But then I started getting anxious outside of school and I would always bring the water bottle with me. Now the water bottle is a huge problem. No one understands. My parents get it and they're very patient and understanding, but carrying this around is a huge issue and sometimes it doesn't even help. I'm so scared of throwing up and gagging that I can't go anywhere without my water bottle. Any will do, as long as it's plastic. Doesn't matter where the water comes from, whether it's already in there or the faucets, as long as it's clean and it's water, i 'need' it. If I don't have it I'll get anxious and I'll be afraid I'm going to throw up. Exercising is the worst. It's embarrasing to have to run with it in my hand. People always ask about it. Some know, but it may confuse others why I even have to take my water bottle to the BATHROOM with me. This *****, I feel hopeless. And as of my anxiety, it's terrible. It causes really bad depression that's on and off and it's just terrible. I feel worthless and like there's a whole weight on my shoulders. I hate myself, and I feel like if I would have never ever played with my stupid hands. The slightest nausea puts me over the edge and now having a painful upper abdominal condition (mainly self diagnosed), it's worse than ever. Could I maybe have some advice? I feel really alone. Too alone than normal. And it's not fun feeling like this. Does anyone else have a 'security blanket' like me? I hope I'll grow out of this in the future. I'm not sure right now though.

[emmaweaver]

Hi guys, I'm having an anxiety attack right now and it *****. I keep gettins nauseous which makes me feel like I'm gonna throw up and let me tell you it's NOT fun. Does anyone know any techniques they can help me with?  I need something new to try. It *****

[nursegirl6572]

Sounds like you could be suffering from emetophobia, which is a phobia of vomiting.  Have you talked to a professional about this?  Treatment is available...it's addressed the same way any phobia is....with therapy, preferrably CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy.

Please look into it and let usknow how you're doing, okay?

[Scurred212]

I meant go out without the water bottle lol. Lead up to that. Anyway you're going to be fine. I look back and realize how trivial it all seems now. It's a very common fear by the way. The fear of throwing up. It always comforted me to know it wasn't  a rare thing.

[Scurred212]

I had the exact same problem when I was younger. It's like reading about me. But instead of a water bottle I'd carry around a plastic bag in case I threw up. It was my safety blanket and I needed it at all times in my purse. It comforted me to know it was in there. It emerged from my fear of other people throwing up.

Anyways I outgrew it, simply. I realized it was silly. You had a traumatizing experience and eventually you'll outgrow it too. But in the meantime try and leave the water bottle home and take a walk. Baby steps. Lead up to you being able to go out with the water bottle. Slowly you'll realize there is nothing to worry about. And guess what? Vomit is vomit. I threw up once in public and guess what happened? Nothing! People were all nice and walked me to the nurse and in 2 days all was forgotten. It's scary and silly but you'll be okay. Ween yourself off the water bottle to reassure yourself.

[emmaweaver]

Anything. That I'm too annoying or that nobody likes me. I know it's all in my head but I can't escape it!

[Life360_Dave]

People in our lives will come and go. I know its important to have others like  at young ages as their approval somewhat give us an identity. But as you mature the one thing that you will find out is that others peoples opinions really dont matter when it comes down to the every day things  like paying bills and having a good meal to eat.
I worked in some of the poorest countries in the world and most of those young kids dont care what others think, but only want to find some wood to build a fire to keep warm.
Why do you feel like this, why do you think people are saying things about you?

[emmaweaver]

constant pressure that everyone doesn't like me and that I need to look okay or people won't like me. It knaws away at me.

[emmaweaver]

***i do see a therapist, and it really doesn't help much. I have a lot of issues talking about my problems, I feel embarrassed. I can type it out fine... I always have the constant worry about what people are saying about me. I feel like the world i s crashing down on me if someone doesn't like me. I have the

[Life360_Dave]

Hi Emma, your were 9 and witnessed a teacher who left a bad impression on you. These happens to many kids at the age who were put in a humilating situation. I went to a religious school at your age and i still have nightmares from what was done to me.
Just put this behind you and let these be a tool for you on how to treat other people.
Things that happen to us can be made possitive by using this experience to help others.
As far as your throwing up, i think this can be habit forming. Once you put the signal to the throwup part of our brain, its always just there under the surface.
Have you ever thought of talking to a therapist about this. There is alot of help out there to treat childhood trama.