If you look at the archives on this forum and the HIV forum you will see a ton of people just like you who have developed an obsession about getting stds. Obviously, HIV isn't your problem, so you should change your focus to your phobia about getting it. A psychologist who specializes in anxiety treatment would be your best bet. As you already said, a lot of people feel a lot of guilt about sex and how they go about getting it and focus on HIV instead of working on why sex is a problem for them and why they engage in behavior that increases the chances of getting it, if that's the case. This is something you can probably work out by talking it out with a professional and then moving on. Peace.
So, the problem is that if anxiety is pushing you to test, continue to research and question and ask others for input . . . you will NEVER get enough answers to satisfy anxiety. So, you have to go ahead and work on anxiety to have a change in your behavior. Does the anxiety focus strictly on hiv/std testing? Or has it seeped into other areas of your life. Are you continuing to engage in behavior that makes you feel guilty and worried or is the activity now over? But agree that overall, your best bet and way to move past this is to see a psychiatrist and psychologist and begin treatment to overcome this. Let us know how you are doing and what you think.
I'm in the same situation, that's why I decided to reply here.
I'm gonna send you an PM so, fi you want, we can talk about it.
I know how hard it is, since, as I said before, I'm dealng wth the same problem. And it's killing me. The problem is, my anxiety can't stop telling me that I'm infected. Everybody else here told me to calm down, but I'm still worried and decided to go and get tested. As the time goes by, I'm scared as...
So, yeah... If you want to share your thoughts, feel free to message me back.