Avatar universal


Just to clarify, I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety/panic disorder. I take Welbutrin SR, but admittedly I have a hard time keeping up with it due to an inconsistent sleep schedule.
Lately I've been....somewhat paranoid....I guess you could say. In social situations I'll constantly feel like I've probably done or said something wrong, or that I didn't say something I should have, or I talked for too long, etc. etc. And then I feel a sense of...well....despair. It's this heavy feeling in my chest and I feel like I just left my body. Occasionally I'll go into a panic attack. Recently they've been getting worse and worse. And about 3 weeks ago I started going into panic attacks where I'd come out of them I wouldn't know where I was or I'd be somewhere different or have done something without realizing it. I can faintly remember, but it doesn't seem like it was me. Like a thought that was in my head, it doesn't feel like I acted on it, but I did.
I didn't say anything for a while, but earlier yesterday I came out of a panic attack and I had cut myself, rather badly actually.... From what I can see there's 16 cuts. 3 on my left arm, one on my side, 4 on my left leg, and 8 on my right leg... This was at, what should have been, an enjoyable weekend convention....
I'm not sure what to do... I tried to act like it was normal, but I'm really scared... I don't feel like I can talk to any of my friends or family about it.... But the cuts really hurt and I'm afraid of something like this happening again...
I've never cut myself before, because I know it's stupid. So I don't know why I did this, and it doesn't feel like it was me... I don't want to commit suicide, I'm scared of dying more than anything... But often I'll find myself so confused and overwhelmed that I just want to curl up tightly, close my eyes, and disappear... like I never existed in the first place...
Best Answer
1291268 tn?1274810922
I agree with CJ29.  Get help soon.  Anxiety/depression can become very severe where you can have episodes like the ones you mention.  However yours sound more severe then a typical 'panic attack'.  And there may be more going on then anxiety and depression that needs to be explored.  I suggest you schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist and let them guide you to a good diagnosis and treatment plan..  There is good help available and you can find relief from the suffering you are experiencing.  Take care.
4 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
Thank you. I am on a college campus and we have counseling as well as a campus psychologist available. So I'll probably go see her today.
Helpful - 0
1450666 tn?1284995659
Don't ever be ashamed to talk to someone about something you know is harmful to yourself. You deserve a right to happiness just as much as anybody else does and you don't deserve to suffer through this. Please seek help from a medical professional- even just a family doctor can be loads of help. I wish you the best of luck xoxo
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Ok, first of all, you are not stupid.  Many people suffer with anxiety and need help in getting through it.  I believe it takes so much more courage to admit it and confront it than to do nothing about it.  Do you have access to a counselor?  As you said, you don't want to permanently hurt yourself, so go get help immediatley.  Do not be ashamed.  There are so many of us that need to reach out.  I know it can be really hard, but once you do, you can start the healing process.  
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Anxiety Community

Top Anxiety Answerers
Avatar universal
Arlington, VA
370181 tn?1595629445
Arlington, WA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Find out what can trigger a panic attack – and what to do if you have one.
A guide to 10 common phobias.
Take control of tension today.
These simple pick-me-ups squash stress.
Don’t let the winter chill send your smile into deep hibernation. Try these 10 mood-boosting tips to get your happy back
Want to wake up rested and refreshed?