Thank you so much you all the info. I actually was never on Ativan before, he started me at .5 twice a day and it didn't do anything, so i called today he told me 1 twice a day and i do feel a big difference. the pit in my stomach is gone, and i can actually breath. As for my therapist, she couldn't get me in today so i am going to see her tomorrow, and hopefully i can explain to her all my issues with her. I am the worst communicator, and i stress over everything, but i am going to tell her that i cant continue to see her with the fear of her dropping me, and that i need to be honest with her, and hopefully it will go well from there. It will be really disappointing if she decides to drop me and i will tell her that too. But when i got back from rehab she had me sign a contract to hold me accountable and it stated if i used then she would have to send me to someone else, well, i have that in the back of my mind and i couldn't tell her about going to the primary gets meds, and i cant tell her about the drinking, so its serves me no purpose. I know all this, so tomorrow will be the day, its up to the therapist if she wants to keep me or not. She feels that she is not an addiction specialist and that i would need to see someone else...UGGG what a mess. She wants me to see a psych as well so they would be able to prescribe an AD med.for me, I was on Cymbalta and i took myself off that, i felt that i had no emotion at all and i couldn't cry, well, i have been off of that med and still cant cry. I am just a mess
HI there hon. Nice to see you in my neck of the woods. ;0)
Ativan doesn't need to build up in your system. You should feel the effects within 15-30 minutes. Depending on how long ago you were taking Ativan, you may still have a residual tolerance for it. I wouldn't really recommend going higher than 1mg twice a day, especially starting out. If you build a tolerance, you won't have a lot of room to go up.
Also, if I were you, I would set an end date to the Ativan, no more than 3 months max (much less if you can). You shouldn't have to endure any w/d at that point, and hopefully that will be enough time to get something done on the therapy couch.
I would recommend getting back in front of your doc and discussing this with him (that it's not working). You may need to explore other options, or other meds.
I know the whole therapy deal has been rough for you, definitely stick to your plan of being very honest with your therapist, and if it's just too much right now, you just tell her you need to go slower....and you need to concentrate more on learning coping mechanisms for the anxiety versus spending your sessions dredging up the past. That can maybe come later once you've been able to get your anxiety to a more tolerable level. I REALLY think that makes much more sense. When you're feeling stronger, you can dive into some of that. It's just too much too soon right now.
PLEASE PLEASE please be ultra careful with the Ativan, or any other similar med. I know you know this, but it bears repeating. That addict mindset can sneak up on you quick, and you certainly don't want to end up with a benzo addiction after enduring all you had to get off the opiates. Also, please make sure you're not drinking while taking Ativan. That's a really bad mix to say the least. Not to me scary, or "mothering", but no lie, many people have died from mixing the two.
Hang in there, I really hope you get some relief soon. I REALLY think your best bet is going to be with a therapist who can really teach you ways to manage your anxiety. If this one isn't cutting it, ask for a new one. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) would be ideal if you can find a therapist near you...ask your doc.
Hugs!
Cymbalta is a good med, but seems to have less of an affinity for anxiety, and seems to be more effective for just depression, plus is can be activating, which isn't good for someone with anxiety. The psychiatrist is the way to go for meds, so definitely do that!
I think your plan with the therapist sounds good. I think if she drops you, that's just ridiculous. You NEED a therapist you can be 100% honest with, without fear of repercussion. That's what therapy is all about, after all. I think you would do better with a therapist who specializes in addiction recovery. You NEED to be able to tell a therapist you're drinking...that kind of thing. If she drops you after you being nothing but honest with you, that's on her.
Remember too, a lot of what you're going through (anxiety wise) is a direct result of you getting sober. It can take a while before your body will learn how to make it's own "feel good" chemicals. Plus, when you stopped self medicating, you were left with rebound anxiety.
You're on the right track and I'm glad you are feeling slightly less anxious. With benzos, less is better, so try to take the least amount you need to keep you fairly comfortable, and keep in mind that right now, you won't probably be anxiety "free". That will take some time. Let us know how it goes tomorrow! I'm pulling for you!