A couple of weeks ago a gang took over an entire bus, they hit me and saw them beat up a 60 year old man who wouldn't give his bag away. They dragged him out and finished him in the street. I was close to home and as soon as I got it I traced my phone. I immediately called the police, who picked me up to show them the guys hideouts. They couldn't break in without a warrant to whom I reported. I went in person and they said I couldn't make an official statement without two copies of an official document they couldn't print there, I told them I didn't have a printer and it was almost 10pm they told me, even though I was bleeding to go back the next day... Long story short it took me 10 hours to finally state what happened. Almost two weeks later the investigation hasn't begun in spite of me having the exact address of the criminals printed out!
I have struggled in the past with my "faith in the world". But this brought it to another level.
After the shock and repulsion of all this I've been having mood swings, gotten overly sensitive, incredibly sad but most importantly, enraged as I've never been.
Yesterday I woke up fine, but some post on Facebook depressed me again. I invited some people and decided to get drunk. But even though it's usually funny with these guys I went to the bathroom and decided to take some pills. I don't know how it happened, and no, I wasn't overly drunk. I was a bit dazed but fully aware of myself (I had had only two beers in a couple of hours). In a moment it was like seeing my own future, feeling it was all dark and swallowing these pills just made sense.
I had taken like 10 or 11 of them when one of my friends came in. Tried to make me vomit.
They took me to the hospital and here I am.
I don't know if I would do it now. But not for me, but for the people around me.
I still don't understand how I snapped so drastically.
Help me understad..