Thank you ladies so much for your timely responses and wonderful words of support and encouragement. I am so grateful to find a forum of understanding folks who can lend a sympathetic ear. I saw the therapist again this morning so I'm feeling a little better today. I always feel a little "lighter" when I'm able to talk with someone and air out my challenges and concerns. She took some time to further discuss anxiety and explained how it affects our bodies/minds in a very physical way. I was in an abusive relationship for 15 years (which I left in 4/05) so she also feels like I'm suffering a bit from Post Traumatic Stress as well. This combined with all my present day responsibilities is proving to be a volatile combination. She's recommending some Calming/Anxiety classes that my health plan offers every Monday night. I'm going to see if I can arrange for a sitter and see if this proves to be a helpful tool in managing my stress. She also is encouraging me to get over my fear of meds and try taking a low dose of the Nortriptyline for starters. Once I get comfortable with it she can recommend something for the anxiety. She also wants me to work on carving out some "Tammy" time to enjoy myself and unwind. I'm hoping that implementing all of these ideas will result in physical improvements and that I will start feeling better. I'm going to give it a shot so let's cross our fingers and hope for the best. I'll keep you posted. All my best to you both and thanks again for listening. Take Care!
I am sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time lately. I feel for you that you are "going it alone", as I am a mother of a very intelligent 4 year old and 10 month old and I have the help of my husband and mother! Hats off to you :-) I can tell you that all of the symptoms you describe are in fact symptoms of anxiety, and that anxiety symptoms are very real in the physical aspect. It took me along time to accept the diagnosis of anixety. I was convinced that something was physically wrong with me because my symptoms were so REAL! Since you've been tested and your doctors feel you have anxiety, I would recommend that you start battleing it immediately. I am not familiar with anti-anxiety meds as I choose to be med-free, but I have heard many success stories of people who recover with the help of meds combined with therapy. I could not afford to see a psycologist so I purchased an at-home self-help program, and it changed my life (Attacking Anxiety and Depression/MidWest Center). I was housebound, unable to drive, with severe health anixety, and two weeks in I was leaving the house, five weeks in I was driving again (with my "safe" person) and at the end of the program I was looking forward to living my life to the fullest. I still experience anxiety during times of high stress, but I no longer over-react to my symptoms and that makes all the difference. I hope this helps you and tha tyou feel better soon! Good luck!
Cori
First off girlfriend, you need to take a really huge deep breath and try to get your mind to slow down! I did not say "RELAX" because I know when you're going thru what you are, it's a trite thing to tell someone to do. Like they wouldn't if they could!!!!!
You have SO much on your shoulders. SO much responsibility. And now you have SO much fear! This can, does and will easily manifest itself as anxiety. Everything you have told us about your symptoms just SCREAMS anxiety!
You've been to several doctors, AND a therapist, so you've already taken the most positive step you can to help yourself! ALL of these docs have told you that you're fine. The therapist is right on in her diagnosis of anxiety. I understand her prescribing you an anti-depressant, I think it will help you, and nortriptyline is fairly fast acting. You should start to feel some relief in as little as two weeks, but everyone is different, so if it takes a bit longer, don't give up taking it. I would ask her if she would (PLEASE!) prescribe something for your anxiety on a short time basis, just until you get thru this rough patch. Nortriptyline will not help your anxiety, and in fact, anxiety is one of it's nasty side effects, which doesn't mean YOU will become even more anxious now, it's just that some anti-depressants also control anxiety and I wonder why, in your obvious state, she didn't choose one that would help with both your conditions. But, I AM NOT a doctor, I hold no degrees in medicine and far be from me to second guess her, even tho I am!
You WILL NOT become addicted to the nortriptyline! Nor will you become addicted to any anti-anxiety med she may hopefully put you on. You will need to educate yourself regarding these meds tho. Meds like Xanax are meant for short term use only. But there are many, many other milder choices out there. You need to discuss this with her and I suggest you talk to her about your fears regarding addiction. She can reassure you that if you follow her regime, you will not have to worry. She will be watching you and will stop or taper you off any meds you no longer need.
You have been cleared of MS and I can understand your fear. Your grandfather had it. Scary stuff when it's in the family. But all of us have someone in our families with something bad. We can't hide under the covers and fear what "may be." I truly believe that everything you are feeling now has to do with the unbelievable overload that is your day to day life. Being a single mom without financial worries is hard enough. Throw in money troubles and lack of rest and not taking care of yourself etc etc etc and what you have is the perfect recipe for ANXIETY.
Take the meds, talk to your therapist about your fears, get something to help you calm down, lean on some friends, tell them what you are going thru and don't be afraid to ask for their help. They may have no idea that your boat is sinking and would be there to help in a jiff if they knew! Maybe they can just babysit while you go for a walk, alone, give yourself time away to think. Maybe you can them over for a pot luck and a movie or just a girls night to talk. Keep reaching out. You've reached out to doctors, to a therapist and to us. This tells us just how strong you are. We all need support when the going gets tough, so now that you know where we are, keep posting. You will find that there are probably many people who know exactly what you're going thru and give you way better advice than I did. They may know of ways for you to get some extra help in the financial dept. being a single parent. I know there is low cost mental health care available. This forum is a great place for support, but it's also a great resource of information. You hang in there. We are always here and we do care because we understand exactly what you're going thru. Keep posting and let us know how you're doing.
Peace
Greenlydia