Aa
Can someone tell me why I still feel "tainted"? (HIV-related)
I've been tested twice before and then after a couple other sessions of just oral sex with men (which isn't even a risk, as everyone on this site states), I tested again just to put my mind at ease. Needless to say, the results were negative for both the Unigold Rapid test AND a back-up lab test they did as well, (I requested the second test, just because). Now, when I think of meeting a girl and being with her, I always think I shouldn't be with her because I feel like I'm still "tainted" from my man/man oral encounters. Keep in mind, I'm not gay. Women are my preferred sex. I just had a few weak moments where I gave into my hormones and yeah. It's as if I still feel like even though I've tested negative multiple times, I still feel like I can infect her. I hope this isn't one of those instances where I'll only feel better if I actually tell the girl about my past encounters, because I can't do that. More than likely, the girl would be disgusted with me and/or wouldn't want to see me. (I've been tested clean for other STDs too, so I don't think the possibility of having something else could be causing this feeling).
I have no less than 20 Private Messages between us concerning this exact issue. The above poster has repeated what I've told you numerous times and obviously you've not taken my advice and I doubt you'll take hers.
You need to get into therapy. I've told you many times that will be the only way for you to work out your issues.
You can continue to write to this forum, but no matter who responds, the answer will be the same.
Until you are willing to take the steps you need to help yourself, there isn't much left this community has to offer you.
We can offer you support and reassurance but as I told you once before, it seems all I was doing was enabling you to stay in the same psychological and emotional head space.
I DO wish you the very best but you absolutely must take responsibility for yourself.
Peace
Greenlydia
You need to get into therapy. I've told you many times that will be the only way for you to work out your issues.
You can continue to write to this forum, but no matter who responds, the answer will be the same.
Until you are willing to take the steps you need to help yourself, there isn't much left this community has to offer you.
We can offer you support and reassurance but as I told you once before, it seems all I was doing was enabling you to stay in the same psychological and emotional head space.
I DO wish you the very best but you absolutely must take responsibility for yourself.
Peace
Greenlydia
You need to accept that you are fine, it's imperative or this worry will consume your life!
Your past is just that...the past. You need to leave it there so you can move on with your life. Close that chapter in your life, you've learned a lot from it but now it's time to get on with living your life and not worrying it away. If you have trouble letting go of this, seek therapy to learn how to do think differently and accept that you are fine. ACCEPTANCE is key to you getting over this worry and fear. I wish you all the best and take care.
Your past is just that...the past. You need to leave it there so you can move on with your life. Close that chapter in your life, you've learned a lot from it but now it's time to get on with living your life and not worrying it away. If you have trouble letting go of this, seek therapy to learn how to do think differently and accept that you are fine. ACCEPTANCE is key to you getting over this worry and fear. I wish you all the best and take care.
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