hi, so 2 months ago my psychiatrist diagnosed me with substance abuse depression and anxiety.
I have been smoking for like 2 years everyday til one day i had this horrifying panic attack and went to get help at that time i was not diagnosed with substance induced anxiety, just generalized anxiety, i took clonazepam and sertraline and worked pretty good, but in the mids of that I started to smoke again and suspend my eventually suspended my treatment after 4 months, a lot of time passed and i started to have paranoia and derealization symptoms to the point that it was unbearable, at this point still smoked pot but every time a smoked it gave me paranoia and feeling real depressed, but i was addicted when i was no smoking i was just feeling numb, i went to seek help to the psychiatrist and like i said diagnosed me with substance induced depression and anxiety, it was very true that i had depression. He put me into a lot of things: wellbutrin, lorazepam and risperdal, it didn't worked quite well in fact he added me prozac. and didn't worked either, but i was exercising everyday, eating well, meditate and yoga and actually was feeling a bit better but not entirely so he added me another dosage of prozac and reduce the clonazepam, 5 days passed and i was feeling super bad, had the worst anxiety and depression i had in my life. i talked to him and he said ok so back to one dosage of prozac and more clonazepam and well it did help but i was not feeling a bit better like i was. the days passed and felt a little bit more depressed i went to the psychiatrist again and put me on ritalin, wich the first day worked wonderful, but left me a few hours later super fatigued and sleepy and depressed so i told him and he said to me to take another one in the midday again worked good but in the night i was so tired and depressed, then another day passed and the feelings of ritalin weren't working as before until today, one week after, i thing a don't feel anything from this drug, in fact im feeling more depressed :( and feeling a little bit of derealization like before but not so much. I think the doctor screwed me with all the meds it's my guess but maybe im just being paranoid and only feeling the same but less hopeful, i'm so desperate to feel happy again. So i go back to this question do you think my depression was caused by the abuse of cannabis or i was just predisposed to be depressed and the cannabis lifted my depression, because im thinking that when I was feeling a little better was because i was motivated and doing good stuff for my body and mind, and know because i think im more depressed i stopped doing that. i fear that this "disease" of substance abuse, did damage my brain and left me like this forever but i get a little hope when i think it's just normal depression and i can do a little better by doing good things for me, but what about the meds? should i just stop taking them, obviously with caution, or keep taking the meds and also do good stuff for me, because my problem is that i'm afraid the meds are making my depression worse. i want to mention that 5 days ago a smoked a little pot and it was the worst panic attack i have ever had. but it was just that time and left me wondering if that also left me more irreversible depressed. What do you think about my story, what do you think i should do? getting a second opinion with another psychiatrist or maybe seeing a psychologist its better?
btw, sorry for my english, its not my native language.