Anxiety, stresses, panick attack

[EmiliV]

I have suffered for the last 6 years with anxiety. After my first child was born I had a postnatal depression but I wasn't treated. After that i had an anxiety all the time. I had two psychologists but after seeing them 2/3 times I stopped. I felt even worse after a visit.
So six years later i still have an anxiety. At the moment i feel like crying all the time. I sleep only 4 hours. I have palpitations and I'm panicking every time a have to go to sleep. I would be sleeping and suddenly wake up in the middle of a night with anxiety. As well I suffer from health anxiety (I googled it) Im always worried that something is wrong and i visit gps all the time.
In past 6 months i had couple of blood tests, heart ultrasound, holter monitor, MRI, eye test, breast ultrasound...
My husband is like why you stressing, you have to stop!!!? I stress about everything. I have to add that i have two beautiful, healthy kids who are 6 and 3. Im in such a bad mood that i don't want to do anything, i feel sorry for my kids. When I'm anxious I scream at them and that breaks my heart.
I don't have friends, i don't go out, i don't do anything for myself. Im always with the kids. All my friends (i have maybe 2) are working or busy. Its been maybe 4 months I talked to anyone except my husband or parents in person. I feel ****, sometimes i want to talk to someone other than my husband but i don't have anyone.
I started seeing a therapist 2 months ago, i had 5/6 sessions but i still can't see any improvements.
I go to bed at about 11/11.30pm but I find it hard to fall asleep and that when i finally do i wake up suddenly with a panic attack. Im shaking, my chest is thigh... My therapist said i don't have any "mental issues" i just can't relax and I'm stressing too much and we have to work on it. But my GP said i have chronic anxiety and i need medication.
Im really stressing over everything when my kids are fighting, when they don't listen I'm like full on stressed. I don't want to feel like this, I'm really tired and exhausted. My heart rate goes up and I think that I'm having a heart problems. I went to emergency 3 months ago with the panic attack and they did blood test and ECG as well and everything was good. Month ago i saw the cardiologist, he did ultrasound and everything looks normal. I had blood test again this week and all good.  I don't know what else to do. I even started yoga, i went twice and is so bloody hard lol and I'm having trouble with "breathing" and relaxing while doing it and meditation on the end is driving me crazy. I started taking vitamin D and magnesium yesterday to see if that can help a bit.

If anyone can give me some advice or recommendations I would be very grateful.
Thank you

[Paxiled]

Therapy doesn't work that fast!  It takes time, and if you don't work hard, it doesn't work at all.  Some of us don't do well in therapy, it's just true, and maybe you'll turn out to be one of those, but did you really expect to be cured after a few sessions?  And you should feel worse when you begin therapy -- you're being forced to face the things you're avoiding.  But one caveat -- make sure your therapist specializes in treating anxiety -- most don't.  As for psychologist vs. GP, your GP knows virtually nothing about psychology and knows only a little about medication (and most other things -- they're generalists).  If your psychologist decides you need medication because your life is spiraling out of control he or she will tell you that.  But if you feel your psychologist isn't doing you any good, bail and find another -- it's more an art form and you have to be able to trust your therapist so you'll do the work.  But again, if the psychologist doesn't specialize in anxiety treatment, they won't know how to do the behavioral things that seem to work best for it.  You'll end up talking about your childhood or your life or politics for years on end.  As for the stress vs. anxiety thing, what's the difference?  If it's chronic, it amounts to the same thing.  Stress goes away, chronic stress is really the same as chronic anxiety - - feeling afraid of things you're not actually afraid of.  The yoga thing -- meditation might be more useful, but yoga is also great -- exercise that tires you out is really good.  It releases chemicals in the brain that can help.  But again, you seem to expect things to come easily -- it takes years to master yoga, but even when you aren't a master, you're still doing it.  Breathing exercises take some time to learn -- most people don't know how to breathe from their abdomen and it takes time to learn.  You will if you persist.  And if you do decide with your therapist that medication is absolutely necessary, see a psychiatrist, not your GP.