My whole life I watched my father and older brother deal with anxiety issues and panic attacks... I was always afraid that someday that it would happen to me, but was grateful that I was free of such traumas...
The biggest fear my whole life, worse than thoughts of death, were thoughts of losing my mental capabilities...for several years I worked in a neighborhood with a lot of mentally ill people, and the tradgey of their situaion really affected me...I have also always been adverse to losing control of myself, and have stayed away from drugs and alcohol because of this...On top of it all, I stress VERY easy, and internalize it, and tend to focus on subjects for too long...
Over the last 2 years, since my father passed away from Lukemia, I have found myself more aware of my own mortality, with thoughts of sickness and deaths seeming more REAL to me, more immediate...
Due to the stress related from an illness, and also perhaps aided from the side effect of some anti-nausea medication, I suffered my first real anxiety attack, which while at first was your typical "I think I am going insane, my whole body shaking, mind racing a mile-a-minute" anxiety attack...it has now continued for weeks, with the CONSTANT, 24 HOURS-A-DAY thoughts of fear and anxiety...I will try to think of other things, but sure enough the thought "Hey, you had an anxiety attack!!!" come back into my mind, and I can't think of anything else...which eventually leads to morbid thoughts, chest tightness and depression...
My family history of anxiety made me believe that anxiety usually had triggers, like fear of enclosed spaces, or thoughts of death, and usually only lasted a short while, and eventually you would go back to feeling normal, at least until the next time you experience a trigger...
But MY trigger was the experience itself...I can't sleep, I can't get my mind off of the THOUGHT that I now have anxiety attacks..that I will never be normal again...it's an endless cycle of fear and depression...
So my question is this: Is this closer to what people who have suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress deal with? Should I be thinking of it in terms of normal axiety issues (is a month-straight of anxiety common amongst anxiety sufferers?) or is this something different?