Hello to everyone! I decided to share my problem here because I've felt extremely down for the past couple of months. My story will be long, so thank you all in advance for taking your time to read it.
First of all, I am (since childhood) predisposed to melancholy, anxiety, brief and rare moments of depersonalisation and rare panic attacks, part of that coming from a traumatic childhood: the death of my father, an extremely (emotionally) abusive and unstable mother, social isolation for years (caused by her and later by myself) and other similar things.
So I do know that I also have some psychological/mental issues, I feel and I recognize them pretty well. Thing is, when I finished high school, somewhere after my first year of college, my life went on an ascending path (mentally, professionally, socially) so except for a few minor problems, I had nothing serious to worry about.
But instead of feeling better or at least the same as before, at 22 I started to get really ill. My cortisol went very high (almost triple than normal, but I don't have Cushing), my TSH jumped from 0,80 to almost 4, which (I then thought) caused half of my hair to fell out and an extreme fatigue. I was (and still am) mentally and physically exhausted almost all the time, no matter how much or well I was sleeping (even though I have to admit, I lived with a noisy flat mate and neighbours in the past, so I developed a sleep related stress).
Going on vacations or at home never helped me, it seemed that I was unable to fully relax. Then, about a few months later, I begun feeling muscle contractions almost all over my body (legs, hands, even my neck and buttock muscles). Some were subtle, more like fasciculations, but others were more violent and even visible for other people (my hands, fingers especially and my feet were jerky, it felt like a myoclonus. I was having 2-3 or even more of these per minute, which only exacerbated my tiredness. I also developed an essential tremor (in hands and sometimes legs and head too).
I experience bone pain pretty often, and sometimes it hurts really bad, especially the legs. I also get bloated very easily, especially in the evening, it seems like everything is fermenting in me.
Till this day, none of these symptoms had gone away, and it's been three years. I had a lack of vitamin D (probably also from childhood), but now I corrected it with supplements. Ca, mg and all the electrolytes are checked and fine. I tried to take Mg anyway and a B complex (level of vit. B12 is also normal) for weeks, even more, but nothing changed. I also started to talk with an endocrinologist and she put me on Levothyroxine 0.25 for subclinical hypothyroidism, which helped my TSH to drop at 2,2, but nothing else has changed.
I have tachycardia since I was a child, but my blood pressure is always low (even 8/5), so it's hard for me to find something that's only dropping my heart rate (EKG, 24h Holter monitor and heart echo are normal).
Recently I had some bad migraines and strange feelings/pain in the eyes (hard to put it in word, but I was feeling a strange body in both eyes, even when rested or after eye drops) and other neuropathies. I consulted a neurologist and she sent me to do a cerebral and cervical MRI. The cerebral one came up normal, the cervical one showed an incipient degenerations of two discs. The same neuro had put me on heavy medications, such as Pramipexole (which helped with my tremor, but destroyed me emotionally), Gabapentine, Coaxil (tianeptine) and Clonazepam (the only thing from all the benzos and relaxants that helped with the muscle jerks).
After that I went to another neuro who weaned me off the first two medications and performed an EEG and an EMG on me. Both came out normal. He now referred me to a psychiatrist (which I am going to see the next week). My cholesterol is very high for my age and weight (it came out 368 a few weeks ago).
My serum copper and ferritin levels are elevated (it's not Wilson). I also lost 15 pounds (7 kg) in only two or three months, despite eating consistently. I became extremely skinny and weak, all the doctors told me that I look underfed and anorexic. I also experience shortness of breath when I talk or walk/climb a few stairs.
I feel like i'm losing my mind. I know that I have anxiety and what it can do to the human body, but I had it way worse in the past and I've never felt and looked this bad. These symptoms that I have from 3 years now never seemed to stop, not even two years ago, when I was still super fit, doing sports, eating healthy and going out with my friends. All the physical problems were still there. And they had only gotten worse over time. So please, if anyone had been through something similar or knows anything about these symptoms, tell me your opinions. I really don't know what to do anymore.