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Dealing with hypochondria and anxiety

Hello all, I should start with a little bit of history. I was diagnosed with BPD, (Borderline Personality Disorder) years ago after a sexual assault. This guy didn't use protection and had herpes. I spent the next two years on the internet everyday, checking for herpes, and developing fears against STD's in particular. This led to me also being diagnosed with severe hypochondria. Although I've consistently been tested and negative, I feel as though through therapy which I was released from last year, I made progress. That was until last night.

I met someone and had alot of foreplay. We grinded alot, and he was nice and respectful. I'm 99.99% sure he didn't go inside of me at anytime. We had on briefs the entire time until he ejaculated, which was all over my chest and unexpectedly in my mouth. I quickly wiped it off and spit, however I have dental issues, such as infections and a tooth that's missing pieces.

This morning I woke up however feeling like I had had sex in a way, my lower parts hurt, it somewhat burns down there and my stomach has been hurting all day. This has led to heightened fear that we had actual sex, even though I know it's crazy to think we did because I know we didn't. I also know if he did have anything, (which he claimed he didn't and seemed trustworthy and even had given me his sexual history) the chance of me getting HIV are still slim, even if he was in me for say the three or four minutes he could've been and orally I've heard it's less than 1%. I'd have a better chance getting struck by thunder.

Now, I've slid back into my old patterns of looking up symptoms on google and freaking out and panicking and I don't know what triggered it. My friend claims the reason my body feels the way it does is because I worked out extensively yesterday before this happened, (which I did have two jogs and did an Insanity workout). I just was wondering if anyone could tell me anything or ways I could feel better and pull myself out of this fog and move on so I don't slip into past behavior. I figured instead of clogging up the message boards with STD's help! I'd attack the anxiety over the fears.
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Avatar universal
Arlington, VA
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Arlington, WA
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