Hello everyone, (I keep having to post this because no one seems to get back to me and I really need an answer)
I have been suffering with anxiety ever since I was a little gipper. I have been diagnosed with chronic depression (inactive currently), OCD, and other mood and personality disorders. I have noticed that my mind tends to make up things and without a doubt perceive them as real, and I believe these "delusions" despite the logic and scientific facts behind things. One morning I woke up thinking I was having a miscarriage that was my own fault, I was sobbing in tears, and it was very early in the morning. Funny thing is, Im still a virgin. Somehow I thought I was pregnant and killed my own baby on purpose... Its so incredibly random but continue on with me.. I was panicking so much.. I was ready to call and wake up my significant other at such an outrageous time... Being the Christian I am, I immediately got down on my knees, crying and crying, begging for mercy.. How could I have killed my own baby? After I prayed I started searching things online about miscarriages, (mind you, again, I am still a virgin), and I still didn't relax. Plus, my period was late, (probably because of all the stress I put myself through!) Which made everything worse.. After the morning went by I somehow got to relax, I talked with my honey and I calmed down a ton. I began realizing how crazy this was and it was definitely not a nightmare or sleep terror. Other things have happened too. I once thought that I was hell-bound and was going to hell right when I die, I thought this out of literally thin air. I suffered for at least a week with that delusion and I was extremely paranoid each and every day. Paranoia is a huge thing for me and its hard to live with sometimes and to just get around. I try to act like everything is fine when I am paranoid but its SO incredibly hard....
Anyways, I hope someone was willing to read this long thing and help give me some kind of over view of what I could possibly have. I know, I know, I'm not really taking this as a literal diagnosis for a mood/personality disorder, just an idea, really. Someone, please enlighten me.
Thank you sooo very much!!!
Your princess friend!,