Aa
Depersonalization and Derealization
Hello, this is my first post, and I'll be honest, in the beginning I was really afraid of posting in this kind of places, and also reading the comments, because it would make me feel worse about myself ( illness wise).
I'm Daniel, 19 years old, in my first week of university. If you could listen to my story, I would be glad.
I've been "cursed" with geral anxiety since I was 8 years old, had attacks from time to time, "for no reason at all", and actually already had some slight DP and DR in some specific scenarios. Well, doing what I liked took care of those, which was: playing games.
And I knew that this was simply something that took a little while to go away.
2 years ago, for stress, and emotional reasons, my anxiety kicked in, strong, to the point of being always shaking, and not feeling my nose, and arms/legs, etc, couldn't sleep, couldn't think straight. This happened while being in school, it was a frightening, the idea of leaving my friends and normal life behind because I thought I was going insane.
The doctor understood my symptons and gave me a cure, Zoloft. Took 50mg morning, and before sleeping.
Things got so calm. So okay... took me a while to get used to it, but I was feeling so bad before taking it that the side effects didn't even scratch me.
Now, after 2 years, my zoloft days where far from over ( I stopped taking it 1 year before) and I was living my life normally, as ever. Suddenly, I had a quick DP "attack" and DR, which kicked in anxiety again, probably because of the stress of going to college.
Went back to the doctor, explained what I was feeling, which was/and still is: Lack of feeling, lack of understanding what's around of me( more like keep questioning it), lack of understanding myself, am I going mad?, type of symptons
My medic, once again, told me to take zoloft, but in a reduced dose, half a pill for a week, and after a week, half pill in the morning, and before going to sleep.
This, seem to help me for a little bit, but during classes I can't take being more than 2 hours inside a classroom, I need to get away. And walk, just walk to put my mind somewhere else. But things got gradually better during the first week, it went from 2 hours, and had to go home, to 3 hours and could still stay there, not classes tho.
Now, in the weekend, it's time to increase the dose, and (even before increasing the dose) i've been feeling DP and DR kicking in really really slowly, in the back of my brain, and now, since I increased the dose, I feel them, and I seem to not understand how to "go back to normal", other than focusing on something. That's why I'm typing this, so that I can keep myself away from all that's tormenting me, and I'm scared to go see my girlfriend/go back to college, because I feel so different, I'm even afraid if I got mental trauma/disorder, which makes me feel worst
All I try to believe is that this is simply a side-effect of the increase dosage of zoloft, and after a while it will go back to normal. Other than that, my anxiety feels calm, but my mind is a mess
Any ideas/opinions? sorry if the text is long.
I'm Daniel, 19 years old, in my first week of university. If you could listen to my story, I would be glad.
I've been "cursed" with geral anxiety since I was 8 years old, had attacks from time to time, "for no reason at all", and actually already had some slight DP and DR in some specific scenarios. Well, doing what I liked took care of those, which was: playing games.
And I knew that this was simply something that took a little while to go away.
2 years ago, for stress, and emotional reasons, my anxiety kicked in, strong, to the point of being always shaking, and not feeling my nose, and arms/legs, etc, couldn't sleep, couldn't think straight. This happened while being in school, it was a frightening, the idea of leaving my friends and normal life behind because I thought I was going insane.
The doctor understood my symptons and gave me a cure, Zoloft. Took 50mg morning, and before sleeping.
Things got so calm. So okay... took me a while to get used to it, but I was feeling so bad before taking it that the side effects didn't even scratch me.
Now, after 2 years, my zoloft days where far from over ( I stopped taking it 1 year before) and I was living my life normally, as ever. Suddenly, I had a quick DP "attack" and DR, which kicked in anxiety again, probably because of the stress of going to college.
Went back to the doctor, explained what I was feeling, which was/and still is: Lack of feeling, lack of understanding what's around of me( more like keep questioning it), lack of understanding myself, am I going mad?, type of symptons
My medic, once again, told me to take zoloft, but in a reduced dose, half a pill for a week, and after a week, half pill in the morning, and before going to sleep.
This, seem to help me for a little bit, but during classes I can't take being more than 2 hours inside a classroom, I need to get away. And walk, just walk to put my mind somewhere else. But things got gradually better during the first week, it went from 2 hours, and had to go home, to 3 hours and could still stay there, not classes tho.
Now, in the weekend, it's time to increase the dose, and (even before increasing the dose) i've been feeling DP and DR kicking in really really slowly, in the back of my brain, and now, since I increased the dose, I feel them, and I seem to not understand how to "go back to normal", other than focusing on something. That's why I'm typing this, so that I can keep myself away from all that's tormenting me, and I'm scared to go see my girlfriend/go back to college, because I feel so different, I'm even afraid if I got mental trauma/disorder, which makes me feel worst
All I try to believe is that this is simply a side-effect of the increase dosage of zoloft, and after a while it will go back to normal. Other than that, my anxiety feels calm, but my mind is a mess
Any ideas/opinions? sorry if the text is long.
I know this is a triple post, and I'm sorry, but this is just my tip for people with the same problem:
Physical Distraction goes a long way
I love basketball, today I've had my worst DP/DR wave, and it's still running, but I just did some fast 20 pushups, and just ran outside, picked up my ball and started playing, mindlessly happy
That felt amazing, and I feel a little better now, need to keep doing it.
Accept and Workout, it's so hard to do it, but little by little we get there
Physical Distraction goes a long way
I love basketball, today I've had my worst DP/DR wave, and it's still running, but I just did some fast 20 pushups, and just ran outside, picked up my ball and started playing, mindlessly happy
That felt amazing, and I feel a little better now, need to keep doing it.
Accept and Workout, it's so hard to do it, but little by little we get there
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Anxiety Community
Find out what can trigger a panic attack – and what to do if you have one.
A guide to 10 common phobias.
Take control of tension today.
These simple pick-me-ups squash stress.
Don’t let the winter chill send your smile into deep hibernation. Try these 10 mood-boosting tips to get your happy back
Want to wake up rested and refreshed?
