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Derealization / Depersonalization 20 yr old I can't take it anymore, help please :(?
I hope someone can help me or at least maybe I could find someone who feels the same way because I can't take how I feel anymore I need help and no one understands :(. I feel so bad I feel suicidal I need help.
I'm a 20 year old guy and have had issues with anxiety all my life and some depression along with it. But as I got older things started to look up, I started to think I had a bright future and was feeling confident and genuinely happy like someone my age should. I was exercising and working out and just... happy.
But that all changed in the middle of September. One day I slept over at a cabin on the lake and hardly slept b/c it was uncomfortable. That next day I was extremely tired. I don't know if this is important but on the way home I passed a bad motorcycle accident. I still remember it clearly like it was yesterday. It was the first time I saw up close so much blood and someone seriously injured.
That night is when it all started. I fell asleep and woke up in the middle of the night in a panic, out of a deep sleep. Disoriented and confused. Everything seemed like I was in a dream, unreal and strange. This passed after an hour and I fell asleep.
But the next day I didn't feel the same, ever since that night and that episode I feel like:
- Everything is different and unfamiliar yet I remember everything.
- Everything seems unreal.
- I feel like I'm in a dream unable to wake up.
- I feel disconnected from my surroundings, the one's I love, and my friends.
- I have poor short term memory.
- I don't feel like myself.
It sounds like this: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depersonalization/DS01149
This feeling of depersonalization is so awful. I can't handle it, I want everything to feel like it did before, I want to feel real again. I was on my way up and felt happy and full of hope, I was creative and smart but I don't understand what's wrong with me or why this happened to me. I feel so hopeless and alone and I read people rarely get better from this disorder. I started taking Zoloft a week ago and I feel worse. I can't imagine living my whole life like this. Its a nightmare, the worst feeling I've ever felt. I've never been so close to considering just killing myself to end the suffering that I think will be the rest of my life.
Please help what's wrong with me? Will it ever get better?
I'm a 20 year old guy and have had issues with anxiety all my life and some depression along with it. But as I got older things started to look up, I started to think I had a bright future and was feeling confident and genuinely happy like someone my age should. I was exercising and working out and just... happy.
But that all changed in the middle of September. One day I slept over at a cabin on the lake and hardly slept b/c it was uncomfortable. That next day I was extremely tired. I don't know if this is important but on the way home I passed a bad motorcycle accident. I still remember it clearly like it was yesterday. It was the first time I saw up close so much blood and someone seriously injured.
That night is when it all started. I fell asleep and woke up in the middle of the night in a panic, out of a deep sleep. Disoriented and confused. Everything seemed like I was in a dream, unreal and strange. This passed after an hour and I fell asleep.
But the next day I didn't feel the same, ever since that night and that episode I feel like:
- Everything is different and unfamiliar yet I remember everything.
- Everything seems unreal.
- I feel like I'm in a dream unable to wake up.
- I feel disconnected from my surroundings, the one's I love, and my friends.
- I have poor short term memory.
- I don't feel like myself.
It sounds like this: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depersonalization/DS01149
This feeling of depersonalization is so awful. I can't handle it, I want everything to feel like it did before, I want to feel real again. I was on my way up and felt happy and full of hope, I was creative and smart but I don't understand what's wrong with me or why this happened to me. I feel so hopeless and alone and I read people rarely get better from this disorder. I started taking Zoloft a week ago and I feel worse. I can't imagine living my whole life like this. Its a nightmare, the worst feeling I've ever felt. I've never been so close to considering just killing myself to end the suffering that I think will be the rest of my life.
Please help what's wrong with me? Will it ever get better?
Is it normal fr me too be experiencing it? Every one here seems so old... I'm only 13. Should I be nervous?
1 Comments
Im 15 years old and I have been suffering for derealization for 2 years it started when i was 13 i didnt even know what it was or what i have i was going crazy but i kept quite for 2 years hoping i would recover alone last weel i told my mom about it i told her that im not real and that nothing feels real to me i feel like i am dreaming or im in a video game nothing feels real to me anymore and what ******* pisses me off is that people dont feel or understand the ******* feeling that we feel so i went to a psychologist and she asked many questions and stuff about my past i didnt even want to remeber its like she pulled everything from my mouth that i have been keeping inside me for the past 2 years i went into derealization state because of high levels of anxiety after only 1 session i felt better i felt free that i have discussed all my problems to her problems i didnt even know i had or what caused derealization. So i found out i was affected by it because of my parents they used to fight a lot we had many problems but things are getting better. Im still visiting sessions to recover from it the psychologist told me derealization isnt something very serious and with just a few sessions hopefully ill recover easily. Just keep ur **** together you can go through this and stop researching it becuz what honestly pisses me off is that people say u cant recover from it and that they have only recovered 90% **** this **** u can recover from it 1000000% **** this **** i never asked for it to happen to me
Hey brother, I know exactly what your going through. I'm going to have a psych Eval tomorrow and I cant wait to get this all sorted. Im gonna post back here with any feedback.
I can honestly say that I know this gets worse at night, And lack of sleep plays a big part!
These feelings won't be around forever, We can fight this together. Post back with any more advice, I'd love to hear it!
I can honestly say that I know this gets worse at night, And lack of sleep plays a big part!
These feelings won't be around forever, We can fight this together. Post back with any more advice, I'd love to hear it!
Hello! I have been suffering from derealization for almost 4 months now. Please don't worry! I can relate because I have all your symptoms (especially everything familiar feeling totally unfamiliar) - this is a hard one to explain to anyone who hasn't experienced it !! I also tried a few antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications but they drove me to the point of almost suicide. What I will tell you though is there are only 3 things that will help you :
1) Meditation (look it up on youtue)
2) A good diet because your brain is fried and tired and needs to recover.
3) Positivity.
I know they all sound like such cliches but I promise you after almost being admitted to a ward with totally crippling anxiety/derealization, I am nowhere near mended but I feel better and most importantly the 3 things above soothe your mind and will give your mind the confidence to believe it's all a phase and it will end when it's ready. If you fight it you will make the feeling stronger, just try your hardest to be "ok" with the feeling and it will get less and less, but there are NO quick fixes so also be prepared to have the most patience you will ever need. You will become a much stronger person and you will still be "YOU". I hope this helps. If you want to talk as I am still mending slowly my email is ***@****.
1) Meditation (look it up on youtue)
2) A good diet because your brain is fried and tired and needs to recover.
3) Positivity.
I know they all sound like such cliches but I promise you after almost being admitted to a ward with totally crippling anxiety/derealization, I am nowhere near mended but I feel better and most importantly the 3 things above soothe your mind and will give your mind the confidence to believe it's all a phase and it will end when it's ready. If you fight it you will make the feeling stronger, just try your hardest to be "ok" with the feeling and it will get less and less, but there are NO quick fixes so also be prepared to have the most patience you will ever need. You will become a much stronger person and you will still be "YOU". I hope this helps. If you want to talk as I am still mending slowly my email is ***@****.
Neptune, I have had it before. I've had anxiety problems since I can remember. I am 26 now, I think it all started to get strange with anxiety around my 18 years...
Anxiety can cause a wild and extense list of symptoms... depersonalization and derealization is just one more of them...
It goes away... Anxiety, with consious life choices, life changes, like diet and exersise, smart choices, having someone to talk to, improving the relationships that matter (with family, friends, girls, etc.) can sure get better. But it's a constant battle. Hang in there, you'll make it.
Anxiety can cause a wild and extense list of symptoms... depersonalization and derealization is just one more of them...
It goes away... Anxiety, with consious life choices, life changes, like diet and exersise, smart choices, having someone to talk to, improving the relationships that matter (with family, friends, girls, etc.) can sure get better. But it's a constant battle. Hang in there, you'll make it.
Hi Neptune,
I really feel for you; I've had depersonalization /derealization and it's an awful feeling. Mine comes and goes, but yours sounds like it started because of the accident you witnessed. Even though you weren't directly involved, you could be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. If not that, the information on the Mayo's website said that seeing an accident can bring on these feelings.
Some therapists use EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). I have had done this myself and for me it didn't work, but I also don't suffer from PTSD. Many people who do undergo this therapy, though, have had great success. It's supposed to speed therapy along ten times faster than just simply talking. (When you're in therapy you hold on to these sensors that alternately vibrate.) The sensors are supposed to reprocess your thoughts, like your brain naturally does when you're sleeping. Sometimes those thoughts don't get filtered, though, and EMDR can help with that.
I think you could at least benefit from talk therapy to help you get past that incident. As the previous poster mentioned, there are numerous options for medications that can also assist.
I highly recommend making an appointment with your doctor or a therapist. Good luck!
I really feel for you; I've had depersonalization /derealization and it's an awful feeling. Mine comes and goes, but yours sounds like it started because of the accident you witnessed. Even though you weren't directly involved, you could be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. If not that, the information on the Mayo's website said that seeing an accident can bring on these feelings.
Some therapists use EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). I have had done this myself and for me it didn't work, but I also don't suffer from PTSD. Many people who do undergo this therapy, though, have had great success. It's supposed to speed therapy along ten times faster than just simply talking. (When you're in therapy you hold on to these sensors that alternately vibrate.) The sensors are supposed to reprocess your thoughts, like your brain naturally does when you're sleeping. Sometimes those thoughts don't get filtered, though, and EMDR can help with that.
I think you could at least benefit from talk therapy to help you get past that incident. As the previous poster mentioned, there are numerous options for medications that can also assist.
I highly recommend making an appointment with your doctor or a therapist. Good luck!
Hello,
I am sorry to hear how bad you are feeling, but just hold onto the thought you are not alone. If you read some of my post you will see i too feel like i am going through hell right now, but you have to hold onto any hope you may have inside.
It didn't work for me, but i know it has worked for many other types of people...there is something called 'The Linden Method' by Charles Linden...if you google this it should take you directly to his site.
Do you live in the UK, because i can recommend a therapist i am seeing to you?
When you first start taking medication they can make you feel worse at first, but should kick in at some point, but try and be patient because they can take a while to kick in.
Try and surround yourself with family and friends and don't be afraid to tell them how you feel because that can make you feel better and they may be able to help and support you through this.
I hope this helps, even if just a little bit....I know how hard life can be living with anxiety and not knowing how to get through each day, but please have hope things will get better,
Nicola x
I am sorry to hear how bad you are feeling, but just hold onto the thought you are not alone. If you read some of my post you will see i too feel like i am going through hell right now, but you have to hold onto any hope you may have inside.
It didn't work for me, but i know it has worked for many other types of people...there is something called 'The Linden Method' by Charles Linden...if you google this it should take you directly to his site.
Do you live in the UK, because i can recommend a therapist i am seeing to you?
When you first start taking medication they can make you feel worse at first, but should kick in at some point, but try and be patient because they can take a while to kick in.
Try and surround yourself with family and friends and don't be afraid to tell them how you feel because that can make you feel better and they may be able to help and support you through this.
I hope this helps, even if just a little bit....I know how hard life can be living with anxiety and not knowing how to get through each day, but please have hope things will get better,
Nicola x
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