I'm sorry you had to go through these surguries. Neither of them are easy. People can become depressed and or anxious after having major surgery. Have you thought about seeing a therapist?
I have so much respect for nurses. I've been in the hospital several times and the nurses are there to take care of your every need. I was in for gallbladder surgery a few years ago and in the middle of the night I wanted coffee so bad! My nurse made me a fresh pot. It really meant the world to me.
I would really recommed therapy to help you deal with what's going on and how you're feeling.
We're here to listen and help anyway we can.
Its sad isn't it? Sometimes when we need a helping hand the most, we find not many people are willing to give it. Your job as a nurse, well all I can say is that you are amazing. I give you kudos for all the lives you have touched and all the people you have helped. But that is also why not everyone can do what you did, it takes a special kind of person, I truly beleive that.
That being said, you should always be able to rely on family and friends to help, even if they don't know what they can help with. So I am sorry you didn't have the support system you needed.
But don't give up on everyone just yet, there are still many out there who care (and even those around you may care, maybe the just think you are tough and prefer to handle it on your own? )
Thinking of you and sending gentle hugs :)
Thanks so much for the reply. I think you nailed it with the "they think your tough". It's funny, but other people's problems don't affect you like your own.
You get to go home and forget,sometimes not so easy, but that's the hazards & the caring side of the profession. I realize that all people go through their own personal suffering, it doesn't seem to matter the gravity of it, but if it's not you it's not as real & personal. We've all got to go through our own journey, no matter, we only have ourselves to console & comfort. Friends & family can be a comfort, but in the end it's you that's got to deal with it. That is what I've learned, and dealt with. Thank you for your advice, it's been helpful & felt.