For a while now I have had issues with headaches, low self esteem, mild to severe emotional/mental meltdowns, over exaggerated stress on small issues and way more. Recently I have had at least 1 episode of sleep paralysis a month and have developed a fear of lucid dreaming and dreaming in general. Emotional I tend to be agitated and have general sadness, with a week of seasonal depression last year, and generally questions about my emotional stance. I haven't had and past traumas too traumatic only a few instance where my siblings have called me names for being fat in comparison to them and someone said it anonymously online. What has caused this question is my recent uptake in paranoia, when I hear something at night I freak out and tremble while breathing fast and heavily, this has happened a few times in the past month. When this happens I always feel like someone or something wants to kill me. For the past year I have taken online quizzes and such however feel too scared to mention anything to my parents about questions for a therapist (I'm 14), however my mom did make a suggestion about a therapist when my mental breakdowns became very intense and she has seen them. In fear of being dramatic and faking a mental illness (which I don't understand why I feel like I'm faking it when I cant control my paranoia and mental breakdowns) I have tried having them in my room when my parents are asleep, and lets be honest the only way to control that is to try postponing the cause. Some cause of my mental breakdowns are stress from school, pressure to be good enough, small comments I over think (like I should work on passing in soccer, or I talk too much), and especially what people say think or look at me like. I know this mental state isn't healthy but my mind makes me think getting help is wrong and that I'm being dramatic, or people have it worse, and even that its my fault. I just really need a second opinion and fear telling my friends since I constantly use self deciprocating humor and they are having rough times at home.