I have had severe anxiety for about 4 years now. I was taking Klonopin and Celexa, but felt that they really weren't working anymore as I was still having horrible anxiety. I also don't want to be on such heavy medication for the rest of my life, so I decided to go off the meds. I really didn't have a plan when I stopped taking my meds. The klonopin, I sort of tapered off, but the celexa I just stopped taking because I ran out and didn't go pick up the next script.
I want to get better and not be on the meds because I want to have a baby in the near future. I don't want to be on anything when I want to try and get pregnant. And the longer I am on the meds, the longer it will be before I can start trying. I know that I can't get pregnant with my anxiety like this, either. There would be no way that I could raise a child with how I am right now because of my anxiety. But having a baby is the one thing I've wanted more than anything else my entire life...and aside from my anxiety issues, I'm in a right place to consider pregnancy now. So pregnancy is such a big motivating factor for me. I just feel so stuck right now.
I was getting my prescriptions from a NP, but I'm not so sure that she always had my best interests at hand. I always feel that way about any sort of doctor, though. I feel like I'm being rushed out of there as soon as I sit down. I've also tried CBT for a while, at different points in my life. I always felt that it didn't help me. I felt that I could tell the therapist what to ask me better than he/she could...like I could do their job. Then I would almost get bored with going because I was on the meds, my anxiety wasn't that bad and I just couldn't see a point in talking about random things throughout my life that could have lead me to where I am today.
Recently, I had another breakdown and started my meds again...in very small doses. It helps some, but I am still housebound at this point. Some days are better than others, but I still have such a fear of trying to go anywhere or even just drive around that it keeps me inside. Even taking out the garbage has been such a hassle for me.
A major problem with me is the driving, though. I can imagine that while I get to certain points that I don't like on my travels, that I will go through a major panic attack. I fear that I will get so anxious that I'll pass out and get into an accident. I do feel like I will pass out sometimes and/or throw up and/or become paralyzed with fear that I would not be able to even drive my car and be stuck in the middle of the road and then I am freaking out more and more and more because I am so stuck I just can't do anything about it. Phew. That really puts me over the edge. That is a major, major problem and I just don't know how to overcome it.
I am so tired of feeling this way and people keep telling me to get over it or to change the way I think, but I just don't know how to do that. Is there anything I can try that might help me ease my fear of driving?