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Avatar universal

End of Pregnancy Anxiety on Level One Thousand

I'm new to this forum, but not new to my anxiety. Anyway... I'm 10 months pregnant and due to deliver anyday, if not by induction next week. I've had anxiety regarding a ton of things throughout my life. Germaphobia has been plaging me more than anything over the last few years. I've gotten better, but still over react to many things. Today is one of those days. A lady with a coldsore spit on my lip and I therefore lost it because I figured I would now get a cold sore from her spit on my lip. :*( Many of my worries now and in the past are irrational, and no doubt border OCD. I'm getting so nervous about my baby coming because I am already not wanting people other than a small few to hold it or be around it. I know too that is not realistic either. I don't want to resort back to medication because I feel so much happier without it. I just wish I could unwrap all this anxiety and wash it away. Some days when nothing sets me off, everything is good. Then the next day one thing can set me off and my whole day is lost. I'm tired of worrying ALL the time about any and everything. I remember a time in my life that wasn't like this, but I don't know what changed. I've stalked this website during my moments of irrational thinking on illnesses, stds, and a ton of stuff. Things help for a minute, but then it all comes right back. I don't want to project such feelings of worry to my new little one, but I'm nervous that this is exactly what will start to happen. I want nothing more than to be a great mother and wife, and I wish I could control all my worrying so that I could move on with things and be present in the moment!
4 Responses
Avatar universal
If I was 10 months pregnant, I'd be anxious, too! LOL

I'm certainly not a psychiatrist, but I honestly don't think anxiety is your main concern. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said OCD, because everything you've spoken of relates to that, not anxiety. (OCD can and often does create anxiety, so I'm not dissing your anxiety by any means)

I would suggest you get into therapy as soon as possible after the birth of your baby to help you overcome this phobia. I don't think OCD is hereditary, but I would think a mother with OCD could make a nervous wreck out of a child. I don't mean to be mean, but I can't help feeling that your constant worry could be healthy for your child. OCD is highly treatable and it would sure make YOUR life a whole lot better!
And by the way, while I don't have OCD, I sure as heck wouldn't want someone with a cold sore spitting on ME either and I'd probably go home and wash my face with surgical soap! More than once.
Avatar universal
Thanks catmint. I am in therapy. My counselor has been helpful in the past few years, but lately I haven't seen her as much. I think that could definitely be a contributing factor. Also my job is rather stressful too. Yes, I agree the OCD is a large imposition in my rational thinking. While you'd just go home and wash your face and probably not think about it much more, I've sat surfing the internet on the liklihood that someone spitting on me would cause herpes. Just those kind of little things ya know. I really appreciate you responding. I'm actually e-mailing my therapist right now about an appointment ASAP. Thank you so much for replying. Pregnanc has definitely added to my nervousness about everything.
480448 tn?1426952138
It's definitely important to try to manage your OCD as best you can, generally speaking of course, but even more so with baby coming.  Being a new Mom with an infant, you're going to be triggered a LOT more.  Babies are stressful without having an anxious disorder, so you can imagine the stress when you deal with anxiety!

While I'm all for whatever treatment approach works for a person, sometimes. it's important to reevaluate what we're doing, and if it isn't properly managing our conditions, it's time for a new plan.  If your OCD was much better managed with meds, that may be something you may want to consider again.  If your therapist doesn't specialize in CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy, you may want to look into one that does.  CBT is a fantastic therapy approach for anxiety and OCD.

Congrats on the baby btw!  ENJOY your last few days of peace and quiet before life as you know it is FOREVER changed (lol).

Please visit our OCD forum too, the community leader there, JGF is awesome at giving people suggestions on how to manage the cycle of thinking.  She has a great thread there titled "Anatomy of a Horrific Thought".  Check that out too.

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder-OCD-/show/231

Keep in touch, let us know how you're doing!
Avatar universal
Pregnancy has a way of making mountains out of molehills, I know THAT from my own pregnancies! I built entire mountain RANGES with my first baby!

I think you are very smart to get back with your therapist since she helped you in the past. Anxiety and phobias CAN be completely eliminated, but for many of us we have periods of remission that can last for years, but then they creep back into our lives. It's best to nip them in the bud as soon as we feel them returning. I usually feel the need to pop into my therapist for a tune up every now and again.  

A stressful job most definitely does not help. Is your job stressful by nature  or stressful because you're not so real thrilled with it and/or the people you work with and for? I'm sure if you could change it, you would have by now. Perhaps for your mental health, seeking other employment might be an option, but in today's market, you're one of the lucky ones who even HAS a job. It's not a time we can be terribly choosy. Take a look at your job and see if there MIGHT be a way to ease the stress. Can you cut your hours? Work from home? Change departments?

For those of us with ANY kind of psychological kink, surfing the symptoms sites is the WORST thing we can possibly do. But I understand the pull of those places and they are hard to resist. But resist we must! I'm sure you've proven to yourself over and over again that they only made the situation worse............like going from a cold sore to herpes! When you get back with your therapist, make sure you talk about this with her.

It's going to take a lot of work to beat your OCD but you CAN do it and WILL do because you WANT to do it for both you and your baby. There's over half the battle right there!

Good luck with your labor and delivery and may your baby be big and fat and healthy and happy!    

  
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