Avatar universal

Fear of contracting HIV

Hi, so I initially posted my problem in the HIV prevention but they have ruled out that my situation is at no risk and therefore asked me to post in this forum. For what its worth this is what I posted.

I am a 28 year old Software Engineer. Four weeks ago I went for a deep tissue massage as I am having a buttocks pain for 2 years. This was the second visit and the therapist (same) was 40-50 year old woman who claimed to have worked with an ********* doctor for 12 years. She checked the area between my anus and balls and said some nerves have been tilted towards right and said the is what's causing the pain. During the massage without asking she put her finger in my anus and asked me to kneel. She moved her finger inside my anus and pushed other fingers against my balls for couple of minutes. I was shocked by this and at that time I didn't say no.

But now I'm a bit concerned about that bizzar claim. What if all that was B.S about nerves around that area. What if she was an HIV positive woman and she made a small cut in her finger and deliberately put it inside my anus to infect me. First week after this incident I was having night sweats. And last 3 days I am having some blackish swollen lymph node just below my left ear. But no fever, vomiting or diarrhea. I am freaking out. Should I get tested for HIV.

I won't ask about the HIV concerns in this forum since it has already been answered in the previous forum. This incident has worried me so much that it has disrupted my sleep cycles and time to time I check my temperature, and check the swollen lymph node near my ear. I try to think rationally as much as possible and I know that I have a bit anxiety and I have tried to contain it and I think up until now I have done fine. But this incident has taken a toll on me and has come to a point where it has affected my normal life and work.

I always had a fear about HIV but what made it worse is the low back/buttock pain I have been having for 2 years. Not many people understand how chronic illnesses affect a person's life and how it changes him. Thats why I'm scared of having to deal with another chronic illness;HIV. I never believed in shrinks as I thought its just paying someone to listen to the messed up problems we have in our head. But is this time to have a session with a therapist and confront my fears or should I just deal with it myself and get help from forums like these.
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973741 tn?1342342773
Ya, that's clearly anxious thinking in the face of facts that you can't get HIV that way and you still are not able to stop thinking that way.  Are you very nervous in general.  I think we're all on edge to some degree around the world right now with the pandemic, covid-19.  It brings out things in me that sometimes surprise me. I'll feel depressed out of nowhere, and then chest burning anxiety, and then a surreal state of normal.  Very strange times.  So, maybe this is all impacting you giving you anxiety.  Health anxiety is a real thing.  This is when you take something and begin to just envision doom and death from it.  Unreasonably so.  https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/always-worried-about-your-health-you-may-be-dealing-with-health-anxiety-disorder  The important part of this is to think about how the anxiety is negatively impacting you and to what degree.  This lets you know what action to take.  For some, distraction, good lifestyle choices, meditation apps on their phone, deep breathing all work to help  For others, they are more impacted and have to do more.  Treating anxiety is something many do and a therapist can be a great help.  I have to start with my primary care doctor for things like this.  
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Avatar universal
I posted an answer to your question on the other forum, if it's still up.  Haven't checked.  As I said then, there are a lot of different forms of medicine practiced in the world.  The newest one is allopathic medicine, which is what your doctor does.  You report symptoms, he either does surgery or gives you a drug basically.  He does diagnostic tests that give pictures which might or might not be clear enough or show what the problem is, as many things don't show up on these exams.  One of those that doesn't causes buttocks pain, and that's a problem with an inflamed periformis muscle.  I also explained that she didn't finger you, she did an adjustment on your lower vertibrae which goes all the way down to the tailbone.  Most chiropractors don't work on the this area, but some pay quite a lot of attention to it.  If she thought you had nerve pain it would be because something is impinging on the nerve, which the periformis does but so can lots of things.  If you have sciatica, nerve pain going down the side of the leg, it would be even more evidence of a periformis injury but lower back problems can also cause it.  This kind of thing is usually muscular in nature even in those with some disc problems.  Now, I have no idea what's going on and seeing a doctor would be a good first step.  Some things can be ruled out.  If the doc thinks it is muscular or disc related you will be referred to an orthopedic surgeon, who will request you get an MRI and Xrays.  If it's the periformis, you'll be told nothing was seen.  If it's the hips or the lower back or the pelvis something might be seen.  If that's it, you'll probably be sent to physical therapy.  It's possible this practitioner you're seeing can help you.  Older forms of medicine didn't have surgery or imagery, and so they developed other ways of treatment.  Sometimes stuff works, sometimes it doesn't no matter what form of medicine you use.  But what she didn't do is "finger" your anus.  What you don't have is any risk of HIV, as you were told on the other forum.  That doesn't tell us what you do have or if this person is genuine or a quack.  No idea about that, only that what she did probably isn't as odd as you think and wasn't what you're explaining it to be, in my opinion.  Next steps are up to you, but if you have repeated anxiety episodes about HIV that can only be dealt with by changing your thinking, and a therapist can help with that, but that won't solve your buttocks pain, but it might help you stop tormenting yourself.  Peace.
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