Therapy. You need therapy. When an anxiety problem becomes chronic, that's the person to see. Your HIV fear was of course irrational, as you had no risk, so maybe studying up on how one actually does get it will help you calm down about it. As for your Mom, that's hard for everyone, but you can help her better if you don't get so upset by it. If she's had it for that long, is it in remission? At some point we have to live with stuff. Grief and fear for others can't last forever at a high level or we can't go on and are less useful to the person. Also, calling yourself weak won't help you any. Maybe a lot of your problem is judging yourself so harshly. All human beings are pretty useless most of the time, which is why we so celebrate those few successes we have. That's just life, and judging yourself about it all the time will make you crazy. I suggest therapy. Peace.