25 male. Suffer from anxiety... I went 3 months without having anxiety. I wasn't on anti-depressants or anything. Matter of fact I saw a psychologist... and after I saw him a couple of times, my anxiety lifted. Then of course, summer came... and that made me feel better I think.
Well, the 1st week of June, I had anxiety really bad, but it was b/c my lower back hurt really really bad, where I couldn't sleep at night. My boss told me I should go to the Dr. b/c it could be my kidneys. I totally freaked out and went into panic mode.... my heart was racing... didn't feel right... scared! Bad butterflies in my stomach. Terrible.
Well, the Dr.s reassured me it was just a strain of some sort, and they gave me some muscle relaxers... and 800mg Ibeprofin. When my back got better, the anxiety stuck around for a bit.. but then lifted... and went away.
2 weeks ago, Friday July 11th... I was on my way into town with my wife and child to go eat... I remember having an upset stomach... I think from getting TOO hungry... well... for some reason I had a panic attack in the car. Just out of nowhere! I kept trying to fight it, but nothing worked... it finally passed, but left me with my "anxiety" spell... which consists of (nervous stomach, scared, rapid heart rate, the need to pace around). Well, that night, I felt better, but it came back... on and off... the nervous stomach... this has gone on for days and days and days... over 2 weeks to be exact.
Now I'm feeling kind of depressed... I'm having trouble sleeping at night... I mean, I get tired... I do sleep, but when I wake up,... I'M UP! And its like at 7am or something really early for me! Work is so hard... my heart just races ALL DAY! And I can't stop thinking about how I feel.
I went to the psychologist last Friday. We only had a short session. He told me, that the reason I'm feeling like this is b/c of the way I think. He's having me read a book called "FEELING GOOD" by Dr. Burns.
He says It's all about the way I think.
Here's what runs through my mind now, every second of the day... it's so exhausting...
"How am I feeling right now?"
"Why can't I calm down?"
"Why do I feel like this?"
"Is this ever going to end?"
"Am I just going to wake up tomorrow feeling good?"
"Is there any natural herb that I can take to cure this?"
"Maybe if I keep exercising?"
I try so many things... I try to make myself smile, and laugh... and it's just so hard to do.
My stomach is still in knots... and nervousness... after 2 weeks of this.. .I just feel hopeless... no appetite
I don't know why this happened to me... I was doing SO good. I was enjoying my life... I was enjoying my daughter... and now it's hard for me to even smile when she's being so cute... and I feel terrible... I want to feel like playing with her... and having fun... it's just SO hard.
My real father (WHO I NEVER KNEW) was a manic depressive. The reason why I never knew him was b/c he killed himself when my mom was pregnant with me.
My mom tells me I'm nothing like my real dad.... which makes me feel good... but sometimes I worry... about "what If I am like my real dad? I'm not going to end up like him am I?"
Mom says my real dad had big problems though.. did a lot of drugs.. had problems coping with losing his mom from cancer at a young age... and he just never got real help.
What makes me feel better, is that I am acknowledging that something is not right with me.
My mom said my real dad didn't know anything was wrong with him.
***My question is, do you think this is all in my head? Do you think I'm so caught up in it, that's all I can think about, which is making me feel this way? Or do you think medication is something I need on top of therapy?***
Thanks for listening!