Filled With Anxiety/Returning To Work

[froggy0936]

I don't know if this is so much a question, as I just need to vent how I'm feeling. I'm returning to work tomorrow after being off for 9 months. I lost my job in the first place, due to anxiety. There would be times I would get on the bus to go to work and get off and go back home. Long story short..I've had cancer twice that went misdiagnosed and also had a total thyroidectomy this past December. I didn't always have anxiety. It started about two years ago and came on out of the blue, to the point where I was practically homebound. I take Klonopin and see a therapist and it has helped a great deal. I venture out to all kinds of places now, slowly but surely I am feeling better.
I am so anxious to return to work, but I have no other choice. I need my health coverage, etc and money is tight. I need to get my life back. I will not ever take more than 1mg (total throughout the day) of Klonopin, as I do not want to become dependent on it and also, I have to be very alert on the job. I've tried a million anti-depressants that are to help with anxiety, but I'm very med sensitive and the side effects were unbearable.
If anyone has any positive tips, I would greatly appreciate it! I work in a hospital and cannot just excuse myself for a few minutes if I feel uncomfortable. I need to keep this job. How can I control those "on edge" feelings that I just have to escape..because I can't!! I try the positive thinking, distraction, etc. Anything anyone can add would be so appreciated!  
  

[froggy0936]

Bump..anymore answers, please?

[samc0430]

I totally understand what you are feeling.  To quickly summarize my issues, I was diagnosed with a blocked artery in my heart that couldn’t be opened in July 08 but was told it shouldn’t give me chest pain and to try to just forget about it.  Meanwhile over the past 1 ½ years I have had intense anxiety from this, which of course gave me “chest pain” which I thought I was having a heart attack every day.  I was disability from my job in Jan 09 and again in June-July 09.  I have also been disability since Jan 23rd of this year and I actually just had 4 stents put in my heart as I did end up with further heart disease and all my “chest pain” was real and wasn’t just anxiety.   (so I also had sort of a misdiagnosis) As you can imagine now the anxiety is even worse.  
I was on Klonopin, Ativan, Zoloft all with side effects and I am currently on Xanax XR and I actually just started Lexapro today. (I hope it works)  I am scheduled to go back to work on 5/3/10.
My Psychiatrist, although a medical doctor also believes in some alternative treatment and I practice something called Emotional Freedom Technique. It may seem like a scam but it truly does “help” in dealing with your everyday life.  When I returned to work from my previous disability I would do this “ Emotional Freedom Technique” daily before work during work in the bathroom etc…. and it did help with keeping the edge off.  
Emotional Freedom Technique is like a meditation using pressure points on your body that you will tap on as you make statements about your anxiety or conflict.  Do a search on You Tube for Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT and you will see people demonstrating it.  
I wish you luck as I know how hard this must be for you.  Please send me a message if you would like to exchange email addresses as I would like to help you further.