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HIV Anxiety

Hey I need some help.
I am a gay male who joined Grindr last summer.While on the app I have had many meet ups with other guys last summer. In cases where I hooked up with them I've always used protection during anal penetration. I don't recall the condom ever breaking at any time. I always have played it safe and cautious and to be honest I don't last for long so the likely hood of the condom breaking might be slim.
However I have sever HIV anxiety. I read a lot online and I know that the risks are way higher in men who have sex with men especially African Americans. Everyone I hooked up with when the HIV question came up they said they were clean and they seemed clean too. I'm aware that you can't tell if someone is clean or not by looking at them but I just used my descresion, payed attention to details and I asked them strategic questions. I had to get tested recently for insurance reasons and I'm waiting on my results in 2 days and I'm freaking out. I can't sleep I am barley eating I can't focus. I fear that I may have contracted the virus. Even though I have always played it safe. Am I just being paranoid? And I haven't had any questionable symptoms since last summer(2015) to now. I am really paranoid and I'm literally loosing my mind over this. Sometimes I feel like me being a gay male, contracting HIV might be the universe/gods way of punishing me. Please help someone.
1 Responses
366749 tn?1544698865
As long as you use protection consistently and correctly, you should have no reason to worry about. However incorrect use may cause condom failure and such failure turns a totally protected sex otherwise all of a sudden
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