This is such a challenge to overcome anxiety, isn't it? The issues with flying presumably Isn't that often unless you have to fly frequently. But the HIV fears are problematic. Having sex is kind of part of life and our health anxiety disrupting that is sad. I have become more and more convinced that we need to aggressively treat anxiety when it begins to impact us regularly. If you can't have a normal sexual relationship in your life or every time you have sex you spiral into an anxiety trap, I think it would be important to take steps to overcome that. CBT talks about reframing our thoughts. Addressing coping skills and how to use them and when. These things can really help. If it is routinely causing you angst and inability to have a normal life, medication is something many find helpful as well. That's between you and your doctor. I had a good experience when overcoming anxiety and depression with an SSRI. It this is something that plagues you daily, it may be worth talking to your doctor about what all the different ways to overcome this could be for you. The important thing is for you to get on with your life! Do you exercise by the way? I have found that to be very helpful in controlling anxiety. I think it is an important part of things. Anyway, there IS help out there, do not be afraid to get it. hugs
You can try hypnosis to deal with the fear of flying. That works for some people but if you have a lot of things that make you anxious the psychologist might be required.
You have a chronic anxiety problem which requires a solution. I recommend you find a psychologist who specializes in anxiety treatment. These days they say CBT is the best to try, and for phobias like yours, that's probably true. You might also look into relaxation techniques such as breathing exercises and meditation. The fact you are able to fly means you are doing pretty well, so don't fret, you will get past this. As for the HIV, stop Googling. If you're using protection, you're good. Also, if you're that paranoid, until you get yourself right in therapy, get to know the guy first. Don't do one night stands if they scare you. Get to know the person first, and then you can both get tested before you start having sex, something you can only do with someone you develop a relationship with. Once you get a handle on your anxiety, you can go back to doing whatever, but for right now, there are things you. can do to minimize risk and still have fun. Peace.