HIV anxiety-please help me

[Teodora]

Hello!

My story was in the HIV forum, but I think it has to be a part of the anxiety forum..Here it is..please give me some advice if you can...

On May 22 I had unprotected oral sex with a guy who I knew for two weeks.He ejaculated in my mouth.I spit out immediately.At the moment I did this, I did not realize that I'm putting myself at risk of contracting HIV or any other STD...In the days after that I lost my sleep and nearly went crazy over what I did. At the local clinic, they assured me that the risk of getting HIV this way is extremely low but still exists.
The next day I asked the guy to get tested for STDs and he agreed. His results came out negative for HIV and 7 other STDs. He assured me that he did not have any kind of sex for more than 8 months before being with me and therefore this is his real HIV status. I did the same tests on 4 june and they are all negative.
Being calm about our STD status, I had 6 more times of unprotected oral sex without ejaculation with him (the last one was on the 17 June) and also one time of protected vaginal sex.
Then I I found out that there's a possibility of a false negative HIV test result. And now I can't sleep again because this is all I think about - what if his negative HIV result is a false negative and I still put myself at risk? I decided to stop seeing him because I can't live with the fear anymore..

I realize that I'm paranoid but still I can't escape the fear..I don't know how to deal with my anxiety for the 3 months I have to wait for a test...

Thank you very much for your help!

[bf939]

Hi there,
I have very similar experience to yours this spring too.  I had a very very difficult time believing that catching HIV through oral is extremely rare.  What I think would be helpful to you is to remember that that odds of getting HIV through unprotected receptive oral with ejaculation with a partner CONFIRMED to be HIV + is 1 in 10,000 those odds do not get less because you had more than one encounter.  I know its scary because while they can say its extremely low risk they can't say no risk.  That is what scared me, the fact that there still was a risk, however so slight.  I think its great that you took the initiative to go get tested with your partner.  Thats  not the easiest thing to do.  However, I think you need to take comfort in the fact that your partner tested negative and told you that his last sexual contact was 8 months ago.  Also, IF and that is a huge IF he were to be positive that DOES NOT automatically mean you are positive.  But from what you describe it does not seem like you need to worry.  I do think a test at the 3 month mark is warranted for your own peace of mind not because you might have HIV.  I hope this helped please message me if you need to chat ok?
-A

[cj29]

This form of anxiety (health) is quite common in this forum.  First off, take comfort in the fact that the people at the clinic told you you have almost a ZERO chance of getting it even if the person was HIV positive.  You also had protected sex, so the people on the HIV Prevention Forum have probably told you not to worry.  I know it is easier said than done, especially when we are worried about our health!  Keep us posted!