Heart Concerns

[LizardGuy]

Okay to start, a little background info, I have had anxiety about death and dying since middle school along with (at the time) undiagnosed ADHD and OCD but it never really made a big impact on my life well until a bit in life later on.. I am a male 117 lbs 6'0 with a bmi of 15.7, yes I know I've heard it all before, you're a walking corpse!, you're way too skinny you should eat more, you need more protein, etc etc, Little do these people know I probably eat more then them daily! I don't consume a lot of sugar or bad fats and I have cut my sodium intake down I fill myself with good proteins chicken mainly for meat then rice bread peanut butter bananas lots of water and cheese pretty much daily. I use the term fill lightly because I never truly feel "full" unless I eat a lot at a restraunt and even then I'm only full for 20 minutes then I'm hungry again and my tummy is growling for more. I haven't always been this underweight it ALL reallyyy started about a year and a half ago I remember it clearly during the summer I was laying in my bed watching That 70s Show and out of literally nowhere (no thoughts or anything) I randomly just felt this immense oncoming terror and impending doom then I had the most severe panic attack of my life and ended up in the ER. They basically just did a EKG said it was anxiety not to worry and gave me a small prescription of Ativan which didn't help whatsoever. I then made an appointment to see a counsellor and during the time before the appointment I went through the most real hell on earth I imagine a sober person could experience, I constantly had palpitations all the time everyday for two months and panic attacks that seemed to differ each time those however slowed down as I got more used to not dying after they happened and I experienced puking and tremors like crazy and non-stop need for urination during some of these attacks. On top of this I also experienced drastic weight loss and when I mean drastic I mean I use to way 145 lbs before this and I went down to 113 in a matter of a month and a quarter. So back to the appointment, I go in and she basically tells me I probably just have really bad anxiety but told me to make an appointment with my primary care doctor to rule anything physical out and to just calm me down I'm sure she didn't think it was anything but anxiety you know how counsellors can be. Anyways I go and see my doctor and tell her my symptoms and she does basically every test she could and they all seem to come back normal she guessed it was my thyroid that would explain the randomness of these events turns out it wasn't. So then she sent me to a proper cardiologist out of concern for my heart that was fine to..and my doctor tells me sorry I don't know what to say there doesn't seem to be anything wrong physically. So at this point I'm discouraged and becoming depressed because I don't know what to do besides try to cope with it the best I could. It was crippling I never ever left the house I barely left my room besides to eat and use the bathroom with my non-stop diarrhea and visit my mother who was a huge support.  So I stopped seeing my doctor or anyone at this point and just tried to cope and then one day close to the end of summer I wake up and (I'm very serious) feel perfectly fine no physical symptoms no more crippling anxiety no more depression however the weight loss stuck. Thankfully sense I had magically recovered over the summer my weight has stayed pretty much the same anywhere from 113-120 lbs, right now at 116 lbs. However I cannot seem to gain over 120 lbs and if I miss even a day of eating or even just only eat an okay amount I will lose pounds instantly. Okay so let's fast forward to a week ago, I randomly start to not feel well like panicky so I check my heart rate and I could not feel it (i summed it up to just not pressing down hard enough and my bp being super low) but now sense then I've been experiencing wide fluctuations in resting blood pressure it's as if out of nowhere my blood pressure will go from super low to pounding where I can feel my pulse throughout my body so out even trying. However my resting heart rate on the other hand doesn't raise drastically like that it fluctuates around 50-60 bpm keep in mind how underweight I am and I do not exercise. Sometimes my pressure and pulse will be strong for a few hours and sometimes for a few minutes and it's all followed by a aching discomfort in the center of my chest that gets worse the harder my heart pumps and at some points it feels like my heart is struggling to push my blood flow through. And of course all of these physical worries just make me anxious and I have a girlfriend who I love more then anything she is my first and last everything I was lucky to find my soul mate so quickly and she has anxiety herself so she's also someone to relate with but I'm just so worried about my heart and my blood flow for her because I can't just die and,leave her behind. I would love some opinions on this seemingly unique situation of you need more information let me know thank you so much for reading I know it's a long one!