Help with my anxiety (Possible medications?)

[DazOwen]

For the last year or so  I have been suffering from anxiety which is really starting to affect my life. My granddad had  quadruple coronary bypass surgery over 30 years go (when it was still experimental here in the UK). During the operation he suffered a major heart attack and fell into a coma. Doctors said his chanced of survival were 60/40, four days later he woke up, thankfully. 30 years or more have gone by now and he isn't in very good shape. He's had at least another 6 heart attacks since the initial operation, he has chronic arthritis in his neck, a broken vertebrae (awaiting  vertiboplasty procedure, although it is unlikely his heart will be strong enough), osteoporosis, an implanted defibrillator, excess water building up on his lungs and ankles due to his heart, and a whole host of other problems. (As well as taking around 18 tablets a day).

His cardiologist has said that his heart is working at around 40% and that is the reason for his shortness of breath etc. I have been caring for his for the last few years, although he is mobile he just needs help lifting heavy things and just some general day to day things when he's feeling under the weather. Because of this I find myself worrying about him constantly, I can't keep still, I'm nervous, always on edge with sweaty palms and just generally not happy. Because of this anxiety it plays havoc with my sleep. I work 10 hours a day 5 days a week so sleep is very important to me. The worry and nervousness is keeping me from sleeping and eventually when i do fall asleep I never wake up feeling refreshed no matter how many hours I've had to sleep. This is also similar in the day, I feel like I can't concentrate and that I'm worrying about what might happen to him. We have such a good relationship and he's been like a farther to me,

What do you suggest I do? Sorry about my punctuation, it's 1:40AM and I can't sleep yet I'm exhausted.

Thank you all so much,
Daz.

[skepticalpeach]

I'm really glad to hear that your dad beat the odds and woke up. He sounds like a fighter! It sounds like you really care about him and he is very lucky to have someone like you on his side. Unfortunately, sometimes its best to just relax and let the universe do its thing. Our parents won't be around forever; and while that is hard to accept, it's a reality. Part of life is coming to terms with that. Would he want you to sit around being anxious about him and losing sleep over it? My guess is no. He sounds like the type of guy who would tell you to live life to the fullest and cherish every moment you get. Thankfully, in this day and age you don't have to do it by yourself. I would suggest finding a therapist to help you deal with this.

One thing I would also say is don't be upset with yourself for feeling like this. Don't tell yourself not to think about the worst. Instead think something like this, "I know your anxious right now, but everything will be ok no matter what happens." Many therapists suggest having a good internal dialogue with yourself. Like tshock said, don't forget to BREATHE! You could also start taking fish oil and find ways to relax. Is there anything you love doing? Like listening to music, watching tv, or chatting with a friend.

[tschock]

I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. I have been in the same situation as you. First with my grandfather and then with my dad. It's a very difficult and stressful time for you for sure.

You really need to take care of yourself or you won't be of any help to him at all. You need to sleep... and I know this is difficult.
There are many OTC sleeping aids available, but that is only a temporary solution, and won't really help with the other symptoms.
You could try avoiding any and all caffeine and alcohol to start with. These things only make anxiety worse. Smoking does too.

Take vitamins as well...eat right.
Take a nice hot bath to "get away from it all" when you start to feel stressed. Deep breathing helps too.
If you still need help after trying these things, then don't be afraid to see a doctor for medication.
Like I said...you aren't going to be of any help to your grandfather if you're not in shape both physically and mentally.

Good luck to you.
We're here if you need us...except when we're having dental surgery lol