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How can I ask my therapist for help , I need to move away from family

I’m 25 years old , last year I witnessed my boyfriend  friend of 7months get killed , from the time my family (except for my two cousins and uncle) found out, they were not very supportive, my mother and auntie called and yelled at me , my mother then asked me “what did you learn from this” to which I replied “ minding your own business can get you killed” (which is not okay). I had family members tell me I shouldn’t go to his funeral and encouraged me to be “over” this situation”.my family didn’t get a chance to meet my boyfriend before he died but before they even met him they made rumors about him and me claiming I spent all my money on him , and that he probably wasn’t ****, to and that i was stupid for being with someone who didn’t have a car. None of these things were true. Fast forward to now , I have a new boyfriend that completely100% knows and cares and understands what happened me was tramatic and he KNOWS I’m STILL healing and i can go talk to him about my boyfriend that died , stays right by me when I’m having anxiety and he’s constantly asking me about how I feel and my anxiety, I can be myself around him , always tries to keep a smile on my face! But my family are now starting the same rumors about him and now they claim they are concerned about my mental health because they feel like I’m over extending myself to him because I give him rides to work , my anxiety has been a joke to them I’ve heard things like “ you can’t use your anxiety as an excuse “ “ she doesn’t really have anxiety that bad she’ll get over it” and it just feels like they only want to talk about my anxiety when they want to , can’t go to my mother my aunties or my grandmother to talk about my deceased boyfriend and my feelings about everything because they get caught up in their own feelings about the situation, I can not heal in this environment,I’ve been called a hoe, a their, a lesbian and stupid by my family ,  I’m becoming so unhappy living with family that I isolate myself around from them, My family stresses me out  more then my current boyfriend, I was staying with him but they had a problem with that I came back after he lost his apartment and my mental state is not great right now,?im freaking out because I don’t even want to be around them for thanksgiving, my boyfriend keeps tell me I’m lucky to have them and I am , I love them but they just aren’t good for my health so, if I talk to my therapist about this does any one think that I  may be able to get some sort of help to move away from it all? I have two jobs and I’m willing to pay rent but I’m just lost on where to start , I live in Los Angeles , if anyone knows a way I can get help PLEASE comment on this post I want to live alone before I have to check myself into a treatment center!
2 Responses
Avatar universal
How did your boyfriend lose his apartment? Does he work?
1 Comments
yes He works and I’ll just say he didn’t lose his apartment because he couldn’t afford rent, it was something out of his control
Avatar universal
We don't know where in LA you live.  We don't know how educated you and your boyfriend are, which is more important in LA than some other places.  LA is a very expensive place to live these days, but I'm assuming there are still plenty of people who live as roommates if you can't afford to live alone.  I'm wondering why, at age 25, you're still living at home in any case, problems or not, if as you say you can afford to live elsewhere -- we're all different, and I lived in LA a long long time ago when things were a lot less expensive but I moved out when i was 17 and couldn't wait to do so.  So explain to us the hold your family has over you given you don't seem to get along with them.  Or better yet, since we're not experts here, if you have a therapist that is where you should be discussing this -- that's what they're for.  You also don't describe the nature of your anxiety disorder -- how bad is it and is it the reason you find yourself constantly depending on others?  Are you afraid to depend on yourself (believe me, anxiety sufferers will understand this).  I guess what I'm saying is, you have a life that we don't know much about and you don't want to say much about, so your therapist is maybe a person you can trust.  We also don't know the kind of guys you're hanging around with -- I mean, one got killed, and it's LA, which could mean nothing or it could mean your natural group might be one that treads in the dangerous parts of the city which might explain your family's issue with you.  Very complicated, If you see how a complete stranger like me sees this and how many permutations there can be here and how confusing this all must be for you with you trying to mourn and your family apparently not offering support, where better than your therapist to take this and work on it?
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