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How do I approach my anxiety on work placement?
Hey guy, I'm looking for some advice on how to deal with a work problem.
Firstly, I've had problems with anxiety for about 2 years which has been reasonably well managed with medication/therapy for the last year.
Currently I'm on work placement for part of my course in a large city center hospital. I thought it was going pretty well with the exception of being late a few time (usually by no more than 5 minutes). Anyway, on Wednesday the woman I'm shadowing took me aside and explained how disappointed and disrespected she was about the way I talk to her.
When she was saying this I was sitting in shock because I had no idea I had pissed her off. Apparently sometimes when I asked her questions about individual patients she believed I was trying to correct her. I honestly didn't mean any disrespect and was trying to understand what she was doing at the time. Since then I've been absolutely terrified to ask questions and feel like I'm constantly walking a tightrope. I find myself struggling to sleep, sit still or concentrate on anything because I'm constantly fixating on what I said during the day that may be taken as offensive.
Basically, I need some opinions on how I should say this to her. I've decided to tell her how I feel about all of this on Monday morning (the beginning of my last week there) but I really don't want the university to know about it as my anxiety (and to a lesser extent depression) has been an issue on previous placements. Because the mark I get in the is placement counts towards my degree classification I'm constantly worried that I'm going to lose marks over this and I need to find a way of approaching the subject that won't make the situation worse!
Sorry if this seems long and complicated but I needed to properly explain it.
Thanks for any input!
Conor.
Firstly, I've had problems with anxiety for about 2 years which has been reasonably well managed with medication/therapy for the last year.
Currently I'm on work placement for part of my course in a large city center hospital. I thought it was going pretty well with the exception of being late a few time (usually by no more than 5 minutes). Anyway, on Wednesday the woman I'm shadowing took me aside and explained how disappointed and disrespected she was about the way I talk to her.
When she was saying this I was sitting in shock because I had no idea I had pissed her off. Apparently sometimes when I asked her questions about individual patients she believed I was trying to correct her. I honestly didn't mean any disrespect and was trying to understand what she was doing at the time. Since then I've been absolutely terrified to ask questions and feel like I'm constantly walking a tightrope. I find myself struggling to sleep, sit still or concentrate on anything because I'm constantly fixating on what I said during the day that may be taken as offensive.
Basically, I need some opinions on how I should say this to her. I've decided to tell her how I feel about all of this on Monday morning (the beginning of my last week there) but I really don't want the university to know about it as my anxiety (and to a lesser extent depression) has been an issue on previous placements. Because the mark I get in the is placement counts towards my degree classification I'm constantly worried that I'm going to lose marks over this and I need to find a way of approaching the subject that won't make the situation worse!
Sorry if this seems long and complicated but I needed to properly explain it.
Thanks for any input!
Conor.
You don't say that you asked you what she meant. That seems to be the logical thing to do. Explain that you didn't mean any disrespect and don't know what you are doing that indicates it. It might be her problem, not yours, in which case there's nothing you can do but keep quiet and endure. But you might also learn something about yourself and your personality that can use some improvement. You'll never know if you don't ask her, however. Now, keep in mind, if you're shadowing a doctor, they're really really arrogant people sometimes who have no real supervision in life -- doctors are in a self-regulated job so they pretty much get away with anything. But you can run into professors or cops who are that way, too, so it's not something confined to doctors. You will run into this in life. Look at this as an opportunity to learn something, not something to worry about. And if it is just that you've bumped into a person with her own issue, again, nothing you can do about that, just keep your own counsel and do what you have to do to finish this leg of your life.
5 Comments
paxiled Your first sentence has some words mixed up but i am guessing you meant "You didn't say if you asked her what she meant."
blueboy Will there be any appeal process that you can do with her boss, if she gives you a bad report in the end? Or is there a chance to get a new shadow to work with? I never trust people who break faith once, and she has done that to you already - my worst case scenario guess is she will use this so called "interim assessment" as background in her final assessment.
As you mention, it is a tightrope act to balance when you deal with someone who comes out of the blue with accusations. Sometimes they are right when they criticize you, but sometimes they have poor skills and just lash out because they think they are right (or are prejudiced etc.) and don't want to hear your side, so it is a judgement call how much risk there is in trying to talk it over with the woman - she might have another agenda that you don't know about.
One option is to talk it over with her on Monday and get her to list written specifics on all her complaints instead of just the scattershot complaints she verbally leveled at you. With a written list you can decide how to proceed.
But the other option, is to go to her boss now, and explain what you listed here, especially about how important this is to you and you don't want to get a bad report for no reason. Tell the boss there has been zero feedback to date and last week was not the time for the woman to verbally dump a bag of very old complaints on you. Lots of people are problems to work with, and new employees sometimes get those problem people dumped on them (been there) so because you don't have time to figure out all the office politics in this situation, my gut feel would be to go to her boss and ask for a written evaluation today so you can have a complete understanding of what the shadow expects of you and make adjustments IF necessary.
Whatever you do, make sure you document every interaction from here on, and try to recall and write down as many of the incidents she brought up and your version.
blueboy Will there be any appeal process that you can do with her boss, if she gives you a bad report in the end? Or is there a chance to get a new shadow to work with? I never trust people who break faith once, and she has done that to you already - my worst case scenario guess is she will use this so called "interim assessment" as background in her final assessment.
As you mention, it is a tightrope act to balance when you deal with someone who comes out of the blue with accusations. Sometimes they are right when they criticize you, but sometimes they have poor skills and just lash out because they think they are right (or are prejudiced etc.) and don't want to hear your side, so it is a judgement call how much risk there is in trying to talk it over with the woman - she might have another agenda that you don't know about.
One option is to talk it over with her on Monday and get her to list written specifics on all her complaints instead of just the scattershot complaints she verbally leveled at you. With a written list you can decide how to proceed.
But the other option, is to go to her boss now, and explain what you listed here, especially about how important this is to you and you don't want to get a bad report for no reason. Tell the boss there has been zero feedback to date and last week was not the time for the woman to verbally dump a bag of very old complaints on you. Lots of people are problems to work with, and new employees sometimes get those problem people dumped on them (been there) so because you don't have time to figure out all the office politics in this situation, my gut feel would be to go to her boss and ask for a written evaluation today so you can have a complete understanding of what the shadow expects of you and make adjustments IF necessary.
Whatever you do, make sure you document every interaction from here on, and try to recall and write down as many of the incidents she brought up and your version.
Anxious, I did garble that first sentence, didn't I? But I would not -- and I mean this adamantly -- go to her boss on this. I would file written complaints. If I get what you're describing here, you're on a very temporary assignment as part of your degree course work and the last thing you want is to labeled a troublemaker when you're at the very bottom rung of the career ladder. Especially if you turn out to be in the wrong. Once you file a formal complaint against anyone in any bureaucracy, you've made a permanent enemy, so save that kind of fire for things that are serious. And again, if this is a doctor you're shadowing, there isn't anyone really supervising her unless she sexually abuses you or something like that -- it has to pretty dire. She's important to the institution, you're not. She has some seniority and people know her; you don't and they don't know you. This is a grin and bear it situation because you won't be there very long. You're just there to learn, not to live. And what she said to you isn't legally actionable in any way, especially if she is right -- we have no way of knowing and from your description you're not sure either. It's just not worth it. Once you have a permanent job it might be if you can't work it out or just ignore the person, but not in this case.
Sorry, meant I would not file written complaints. You don't want a permanent record of something that makes you sound like a recalcitrant employee, and again, we still have no idea what she meant -- she might be right about something in your attitude you aren't aware of and can benefit from learning about.
Those are all good points but as I said before it is a judgment tightrope to walk - and meant to say that blueboy will have to figure out.
Most employers don't want visiting trainees to be bullied to the point they are afraid to ask questions because when they get back to school, they blab to other prospective employees about what a terrible organization they were at.
The other key point is "Since then I've been absolutely terrified to ask questions and ..." which indicates you either have to suck it up and consider if you are losing important chances to learn
Or
get things straightened up with shadow OR go above shadow.
Good luck with your decision.
Most employers don't want visiting trainees to be bullied to the point they are afraid to ask questions because when they get back to school, they blab to other prospective employees about what a terrible organization they were at.
The other key point is "Since then I've been absolutely terrified to ask questions and ..." which indicates you either have to suck it up and consider if you are losing important chances to learn
Or
get things straightened up with shadow OR go above shadow.
Good luck with your decision.
Below are other things you need to consider.
Is there a protocol for this type of assignment? Is the student supposed to be quiet in the presence of a patient, and only ask questions afterwards in private with the shadow, or is she supposed to decide the game rules?
Is there a protocol for this type of assignment? Is the student supposed to be quiet in the presence of a patient, and only ask questions afterwards in private with the shadow, or is she supposed to decide the game rules?
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