How do I work caffeine back into my life?

[FthTopCat]

Hi everybody, I'll try to keep this as concise as possible.

I'm a 23 year old male in college diagnosed with ADHD (which I've successfully been on welbutrin and concerta for about 3 years now).

I admit first hand, I've been a stim junkie in the past, energy drinks in particular. I stopped with those once I found a lifting supplement known as NOXPLODE (which is a blend of an energy, NO, and creatine in short). It was a little shaky with having taking my concerta at the same time, but soon I was able to successfully handle the two co-existing in my system with no real anxiety, urological, or neurological issues.

I had been using NOXPLODE for about two years and while I did increase my dosage (due to tolerance), I realized that this couldn't be to swell for my kidneys so eventually started to reduce my scoops used.

Towards the end of the Spring semester during finals week, I experienced what I'm 90% positive was a panic attack. A surge shot up my spine, a sense of being out of control was at place, I felt like I had to pee and did several times (the latter trips I had nothing left to void but still felt the sensation), my temperature felt like it was fluxing to insane amounts, I could feel my blood pressure spiking, and I thought that I had peed my pants (which I didn't but felt a cold dripping sensation on my inner left thigh). I eventually left class early because I seriously thought I was "going to lose control" (which at that point I could only attribute to possibly wetting myself). I went home and was exhausted and spent for the rest of the day.

I told myself I was just a stupid college kid who had a caffeine over dose or a panic attack with the assistance of my increased coffee intake. I normally didn't drink coffee that much back then because it was just a little "too" much for my liking on top of the concerta and noxplode, a cup a day in the morning at most.

So over the summer I weened off the noxplode and stopped my concerta. No issues, I wanted to cycle my body and lower the tolerance for both supplements and give my poor kidneys a rest for the summer.

A month later one at my summer job though, I experienced the same pseudoneuro symptoms AGAIN. At first I thought I was over heated (I worked in a warehouse) and it was no big deal, until that feeling of loosing control and urge to urinate intensified. I went home that day.

Slowly but surely these occurred more often at work, sometimes standing up at our beginning of the shift meeting, other times while sitting. I decided to ask my doctor about this, he said no to the panic attack and more likely I was either pinching a nerve or I might have some urological issue.

My xrays showed no spinal abnormalities so I crossed that off my list. The symptoms lessened more and more. Then I went on vacation and I experienced probably the worst 2 and a half hours of my entire life. I've flown all my life with no problems, I love flying. But those surges, the sense of loosing control, having to pee every 5 minutes and that feeling of if I didn't go I'd pee my pants, the temp fluxing, it was awful. However at this point I noticed I was dribbling in my urine so I needed to get checked out by a urologist.

Landed, saw a doctor the next day. He told me that there wasn't much he could do for me since I'd only be there for a few days. So he said he could give me something to get me through the flight back home, a prescription for xanax.

Boy howdy do those things slow you down.

Anyhow, I got back and then saw a urologist. They didn't really tell me much but by that point I was having other symptoms such as that "golf ball prostate" feeling and feeling like I was still peeing even if I wasn't. Got some antibiotics and started that. They told me to avoid coffee, but a cup shouldnt hurt me.

Once I started feeling better (half way through the antibiotics) I tried a cup of coffee and went to the movies. Nope! Wasn't happening, all the symptoms came back again, mostly light panic attack symptoms.

So I've avoided caffeine till I was through with the antibiotic cycle. I restarted my concerta and have had the notion that I'd LIKE to eventually work NOXPLODE back into my life for just 3 months. But I don't wanna take until my caffeine tolerance grows back (remember though, as of now, the NOXPLODE never seemed to cause any of these attacks).

Almost 2 weeks have past since my urological symptoms have gradually disappeared. Now it's mostly anxiety that remains with "light" panic attacks here and there. Since school started back up, I seem to be fine, I've practiced several breathing and state of mind techniques to help reduce my anxiety. I tried a sugar free redbull yesterday and I was fine. This morning though I had a half a cup of coffee, and a vitamin water that had a little caffeine in it. Once I got to my class though I felt the symptoms reappear, I did my techniques and made it through the first class alright. The second though, I caved in, I took a half pill of xanax that I carry with me just in case (I feel slightly ashamed).

Am I caffeine sensitive? Allergenic? Is coffee caffeine different than redbull caffeine? What gives? How do I gradually work caffeine back into my life?

thanks

[Paxiled]

As long as you don't injure yourself, great lifestyle!  I exercise regularly as well, but now I'm old and my body is paying for it, so just be careful no drunks rear end you and you keep good posture and all that.  But given what you've said, that supplement isn't useful to you, and not necessary.  It's for much more serious bodybuilders, whereas you are a sane athlete.  You're a young person still, and you definitely don't need the stimulants for that kind of workout.  Just make sure your diet has sufficient protein and colored vegetables for antioxidants, and if you need some extra energy try some bee pollen or spirulina, food based energy.  Also adaptogens such as the ginsengs, rhodiola, eleuthero and such, but watch out for signs of increased anxiety -- they can do that.  Ashwagandha will slow your adrenals, which is very good for anxiety, but some find it a bit too relaxing -- I don't.  These should help you get that energy burst without feeding the anxiety, which No Explode and caffeine will.  Good luck to you.  

[Irenak]

FthTopCat, I have this gift that I would like to offer you because you seem like a really nice person that truly wants to do what is best for oneself, but is caught up in a cycle.  You are also young enough to perhaps be a bit more open minded. Think about this for a day or so, because when I tell you what I can do, you will probably think I am nuts.  So, get past the judgment phase first and after a few days if it seems like a good idea and feels good, let me know. Send me a private notice because I will need your name to be able to connect with you.  Here is my proposal:

Decide what you want to purify your body of.  Do not list any medications you are regularly taking unless you have discussed it with your doctor. So, unless you get the ok for that then give me a list of things like caffein, the xanax is ok because you are not taking it regularly, etc.  List everything that you have ever put in your body that would have a negative effect on you.  Things you did years ago count because they are still in your body various ways.  Also, make a list of things that you are afraid of.  Give me a list of your fears.  Think about it for a while.  Think about the things that trigger anxiety for you.  I am an energy healer.  I am able to send out my intent and will ask that your body be detoxified of all those substances in a safe way and with no withdrawal symptoms.  Then I will send the intention that you receive healing energy for your fears.  All I have to know is your name and nothing else. Also, give me a day and time when you will not be busy or exercising. I normally charge for this kind of thing but I am offering it to you for nothing.  Let's call it a college student discount .  It is ok if you are uncomfortable with this.  It is totally up to you.  I would like to give you the opportunity to start with a clean slate (body) and start over.  The anxiety meds side effects will still be an issue, but the other stuff will be out of your system.  

[FthTopCat]

). But yes, I have noticed the effect of taking NOXPLODE just for the energy boost, generally I don't like nor recommend it, there defiantly seems to be a need to burn it out of your system.

[FthTopCat]

@Irenak- thank you for the emotional support, I am heavily considering cutting it out of my life style. It means a lot.

@Paxiled- I have been a rather intense athlete. Not insane roid muscles, but I do start my mornings at 5AM (bed by 9/10pm) and have an intense work out schedule that includes circuit and isolation trainer (and recently I've been working Crossfit exercises into my routine as well), on the off days I run about 3 miles still at 5am. I enjoy body sculpting and the benefits from being in shape, it's a rush. The runners/lifters high carries me over to breakfast and then to study until my classes start at 10/11am (it's a "at peace and get it done" feeling). I've done extraordinary things with this routine, both academically and physically. One thing that I've been curious about is, none of these symptoms presented themselves until I hit the summer (asides from that one panic attack during finals week but I know that was my own stupidity of not watching my intake

[Paxiled]

You don't mention if you're an intense bodybuilder or not.  No Explode is meant for nutso bodybuilders, who will take anything to increase their workouts.  If you're not doing intense workouts, you're not utilizing and burning out all that crap, and that probably caused your urological problems -- that's what creatine does.  Kills the liver eventually, too.  But bodybuilders at least utilize all that argenine and tyrosine and caffeine and creatine.  If you're not doing competitive bodybuilding, you're body is going to be overwhelmed trying to find a place for all that stuff.  And keep in mind, the caffeine in that supplement is intensified by all the no.  That also affects testosterone, which affects your prostate, so again you're working against your urinary tract.  And if you're not doing intense workouts, this is just a drug, not a supplement, provided it is well absorbed -- many supplements aren't, but I'd guess this one is.  In other words, this isn't just a caffeine problem, which given you're starting to get anxiety attacks you should be avoiding -- this is a whole complex of problems.  Always remember, serious bodybuilders will do anything to get those muscles, but they also work out intensely to compensate.  Not that it does -- in the long run, they do damage to their organs.  So I ask again, are you an intense bodybuilder, and if not, why would you take such a supplement?  

[Irenak]

You don't want to work caffein back into your life.  You are playing with fire.  Eventually you are going to break and not be able to be fixed.  You are creating chaos in your body.  It is affecting your nervous system, depleting your adrenals, messing with your brain, every part of your is being affected.  If you need medications, use them and don't add stimulants and bad diet to the mix.  You are going to have to take good care of yourself for quite a while to give your body time to heal itself.  It is an ongoing thing because the prescription meds are continually causing side effects. Bottom line, find the right meds that work for you, be extra good in other areas or you are setting yourself up for problems.  Good diet, no stimulants, cigarettes, recreational drugs, alcohol, etc.  If you can't do that, find a way to cope with your issues and get off the meds.  Its one or the other because your body has limits.  You can already see that your body has become super sensitive.  It will get worse.  Then will come allergies if you  don't have them already.  I can go on and on but I don't want to turn you into a hypochondriac either.  Really think about it.  This is only common sense.  Your body is so polluted right now.  Think of it this way. Imagine giving a tiny baby some xanax, giving it to a clean pure body.  If you could feel it, be the baby, you would be so sick.  Now think about what you have been dumping into your body over the years. It accumulates.  It can only take so much and then it will turn on you.  Common sense.  Love yourself enough to want better.  Treat you body the way your would treat your baby if you had one.  I'll bet you are super nice and quite intelligent.  You deserve to treat yourself better and have a long healthy life.