AA is free and you will see people there from all walks of life who describe their experiences with alcohol. AA meetings are open every day in cities so you can start exploring today in a non-judgmental setting.
You could try therapy but alcoholism is tough so you might not get any result from your money.
Have you tried therapy for your social anxiety? Alcohol is a very dangerous drug to be dependent on. The best thing would be to learn how not to get so stressed out. The music biz is a hard one to be around if you like drugs, and alcohol is a drug. And if you're drinking enough to not be sober, it's just going to keep taking more and more alcohol to do that.
I have to agree here. I'm sorry, first of all, that your job is stressful. There are other types of journalism if there might be a better fit for you? But alcoholism is a progressive disease and once you are caught in that trap, this is difficult to get out from under it. If you are currently abusing alcohol which you are when using it as liquid courage or to treat your social anxiety, it becomes dangerous. Not to mention, if you are in these social settings to do a job but aren't sober, you probably can't do your job very well. Your employer may start to notice and it could all backfire.
So, what can you do? You say that antidepressants make it worse. What have you tried? There are choices. Options. And for many, one may not work but another does. There is therapy. This can give you coping strategies. There are breathing exercises you can do when anxiety is creeping in. Exercise. This is our body's natural stress reliever and it sends happy chemicals and regulates our nervous system. All that good stuff has a carry over affect for anxious people.
Also, practice doing it sober WILL help. I remember starting a new job when I was much younger and felt very out of my comfort zone. It required a ton of social interaction with me in a role having to hold court and at first I was like--- heck no. But I kept doing it. I never loved it but I got better and better. I viewed myself as playing a role and knew that most never suspected that on the inside I felt like running away. The more I did it, the easier it got. So, you, while you have control of the drinking, should attempt the job with absolutely NO alcohol and get used to how that feels.
I hope it all goes well for you. Let us know how you are doing and what you think of what we wrote.