I wish I can enjoy life.....

[bip]

This anxiety is affecting my sleep.  My mind is racing so much.  Im just so tired of feeling bloated, and ppressure on my bladder. That is what is on my mind.  I have a feeling the 1cm cyst on my ovary is making me feel like this.  I need to get to the bottom of this so I can enjoy my life.   I know Ill be worried until they find out what is wrong with me.  Im tired of worrying constantly.  

[tke5768]

at least u are talking about your symptoms. I keep really closed and tight lipped. I feel like it will never be able ot let this out unless I beat someone which will never happen as I would feel awful if I hurt someone I fear ovarian cancer also, and I fear lung cancer the worst. I can never breathe. I always have shortness of breath. I feel like I have no control over my feelings. I hope you will feel better

[mia193]

Thank you so much!  I will look for them!  I am glad to hear these books helped you- i hope i have the same success!!

[Barbarella]

I forgot to mention in my post above unless you suffer from "agorophobia"(afraid to leave your home because you are afraid you might get a panic attack or drop dead while out)  there is no need to buy the book "Agorophobia".  She strictly talks about the agorophobia in that book only.

[Barbarella]

The reason I have not mentioned all the books or talk to much about it its because in the past when I mentioned Dr. Weeks my posts have been deleted.

These are the books:

Peace from Nervous Suffering

Hope and Help for your Nerves

More Help for your Nevers

Agorophobia

She had died in the meantime, but her books still can be found in the bookstores in the malls, if they are not on the shelves they will order them for you.  

I was so afraid of my PVC's (skipped heartbeats) I thought I would drop dead while out.  I therefore didn't learn to drive till I was 30 yrs old.  I was afraid I'd drop dead while driving when my heart skipped beats.  Beta blockers caused it to skip more.

Thanks to Dr. Weeks I eventually could learn how to drive, go to my job without having to run to the bathroom telling my co-workers I have a case of diarrhea when in reality I had a panic attack.  She taught me to let my heart beat at its worst, skip at its worst, let the anxiety come at its worst, accept it, and float through it.  Its not an overnight thing.  I read her books over and over.  I listened to her talking on albums.  I guess now it would be on CD's.  I don't know if you can find CD's of her, but the books you definately still can buy.

There were several people on the heart forum who talked about her books, and liked them very much.  
The first time I read her book, I could not put it down, and I slept for the first peacefully in 15 yrs.

Oh yes, before I forget the first book I read was "Hope and Help for your Nerves".  They are all good.  It doesn't matter which one you read first.

[suzi-q]

WE ARE ALL NUTS, BUT WE HAVE EACH OTHER!

Raine, don't worry about your son in daycare.  It is the best thing that you can do for him!!!  Trust me, I am a teacher.  Does he cry when you are not there? If he doesn't then don't worry about it.  Daycare will teach him socialization skills as well as sharing and it will prepare him for when he starts school.  I see it every year with those little guys!  They cry like crazy when mommy leaves but 15 minutes later they are laughing and having fun!  He will be fine!!!!!

[bip]

You all are awesome Im really feeling better.  You are all my BEST FRIENDS don't know what to do without you.   I just tooked a long walk with my kids and  it was nice.........We had fun walking. Its better sitting here thinking whats going to kill me.........lol

[urdacrazy1]

Oh yeah, and thank GOD, it was NOT cancer.  Take care and get some sleep.

[urdacrazy1]

Just so u know I had a 16cm ovarian cyst on my ovary removed a few years ago and if it hadnt been for a routine ultrasound that was done i didnt know it was even there.  So i really doubt that its the 1cm cyst that is making u feel that way.  

[Raine9]

It's not your heart!  Have a nice walk.  

Pretty darn hot where I am too.  Couldn't even sleep last night.

Take care.

[Raine9]

You don't have to wait until you get to the bottom of it to enjoy your life.  That's how I used to think and still do at times.  However, I realized recently that you have to enjoy life RIGHT NOW, in this moment.  The worrying and obsessing will just make your emotional AND physical states worse in the long run.  Try your very, very best to think positive.  Don't look into the future, just accept that you are feeling this way and move on.  Easier said than done but I have been doing this.  

I am having a hard time leaving my son in day care (he just started last week) .  He cries when I leave him and when I pick him up.  Instead of letting these worries consume me, the way I did in the past, I just tell myself, this is the way it is RIGHT NOW, but it will get better.  And if doesn't then my husband and I will have to figure something out when the time comes.

Anyway, try to think about what I wrote and hope you feel better! :)

[Raine9]

You don't have to wait until you get to the bottom of it to enjoy your life.  That's how I used to think and still do at times.  However, I realized recently that you have to enjoy life RIGHT NOW, in this moment.  The worrying and obsessing will just make your emotional AND physical states worse in the long run.  Try your very, very best to think positive.  Don't look into the future, just accept that you are feeling this way and move on.  Easier said than done but I have been doing this.  

I am having a hard time leaving my son in day care (he just started last week) .  He cries when I leave him and when I pick him up.  Instead of letting these worries consume me, the way I did in the past, I just tell myself, this is the way it is RIGHT NOW, but it will get better.  And if doesn't then my husband and I will have to figure something out when the time comes.

Anyway, try to think about what I wrote and hope you feel better! :)

[mia193]

I LUV YOU ALL 2!!! COULDN'T DO IT W/OUT U!!  DEFINITELY STICK TOGETHER!!
You know, i also thought about this, peeing issue - maybe it also could be d/t when you had your children- I know that I tend to have to more, and i used to be able to hold it forever- could be an after affect from your childbearing years...just a thought-
take care!!  

[bip]

I LUV U GUYS  U ALL MADE ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER LETS STICK TOGETHER.....

[bip]

Thanks......my 2 sons our 5 and 10 yrs old.  They are great.  I feel bloaty constanly and peeing so much this is why I get frustated......very helpful


happy2girl-  No, Im not on birth control pills.  Thanks

[SimplyStar]

bip came to the Ovarian cancer forum and told us her concerns, we there that have dealt with OVCA have tried to  help her to understand what is going on now for several weeks.  She was cleared of the cancer worry, has a small cyst that is disolving on its own.  As she has continuded to post the same things over and over again, I suggested she see a phychiatrist, this offended her.  I do understand the anxiety problem  and am hoping she will seek help for it and be able to get past the obsession she has about cancer.  My daughter has OVCA, she is facing it in a positive manner.  We say I have cancer but cancer does not have me.  

[Happy2girls]

Another thought.  Are you on birth control?  I was on Yasmin and it caused severe and painful gas and bloating.  It was horrible.  

[mia193]

Hi - i know you told me before about the books by claire weekes- I just didn't know there were more than one, so is there one that you should start with first?  i am going today to get one!!
thanks in advance!

[mia193]

I feel like we could be sisters!!  I don't know the ages of your children, but I have 2 girls that are entering their teens, and I have the same symptoms you are describing, just not the cyst.(that i know of) I am gasey/bloated alot, and i know it is d/t my diet- coffee, broccoli, fresh fruits and veggies can do this too. Sometimes a lot of carbs can make you bloated.  I also have been having difficulty sleeping, as I stated in one of my posts, and it has been getting a little better- I just have a system now that i get up - go on this forum and then eventually I may take a .25 mg xanax or drink some water and constantly talk to myself, trying to change my thoughts/anxiety.  
I agree with everyone else above, and maybe you could also try vit. B-complex with folic acid 1 or 2 times daily, along with increasing your water intake, and I have started pilates, it may help you-
My gyn actually recommended the b-complex, he said it is a common complaint of woman to feel this way and it could be attributed to hormones-
have you ever noticed it worse right before or during your periods?  mine is!
well, i hope something i said could help you feel better -
have a nice day, and try to focus on the positives- it is hard, but keep fighting it!
you can do it!

[bip]

Thanks everyone.  Im really trying to get over this.  I guess deep inside  I can't one day Im ok next day just want to blow up.  I admit  Im overreacting everything.  Just want to get better.  The ladie I seen at the OBGYN they are going to have her call me friday so she can explain everything to me. Hopefully  I will come down to that.  I called my councelor told her what is going on with me.  She made me appt.  next week.  Ill go and talk to her shes really good  she maked me feel better.....

[tanns]

I know how scary it is.  I wanted to tell you two things.  The first is that I have a cyst on my ovary.  It varies in size depending on where in my cycle I am.  I guess it is hormone related.  The other is that if you continue to go to doctors with the mindset that they are missing something EVENTUALLY, eventually a test is going to come back FALSE-positive.  The cardiologist at the Mayo Clinic tried to drill this in my head.  He had done every test and yet I was almost "disappointed" they were normal because my PHYSICAL symptoms were to real to be "just" anxiety.  He told me I could continue to go to docs (remember this is my 4th cardiologist) and at some point someone was going to find something.  Whether it was real or not.  If you have 10 echocardiograms, chances are that 1 of them is going to be done differently and will yield something alarming.  

Get a good doc, go to them and then trust the results.  Don't make doctor hopping a hobby.  I went all over looking for an answer that ended up being the same one given to me at my VERY FIRST appointment.  In the meantime, work on the anxiety.  It is consuming your life and it isn't healthy.  I am living proof that anxiety can and will manifest itself into whatever your fear is (at the time!).

It is hard, no one is denying that.  Remember that walk I was going to take?  Well, 5 miles later and it is hotter than snot outside and I'm really exhausted.  I, of course, think it's my heart causing the fatigue---but it isn't!!!  My gosh, it's 93 degrees out there and I just pushed a stroller with two kids (about 85 pounds) five miles!!  No wonder I'm exhausted.  I could easily allow myself to think it's my heart or heart related but I struggle and fight like heck to get rid of that thought.  It's irrational, right?  Yep, that's anxiety.

HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!!

[suzi-q]

BTW, I do suffer from anxiety and DEPRESSION...that is what the paxil is for.  That hopeless, wanting to cry and fear of doom are symptoms of depression.  I agree with the above posts.  Do what you need to do to get better and we will be here to help all the way.

[Barbarella]

If I may give you some advise.  Stay away from the cancer board.  I read what this woman said to you i.e. her mother had the same symptom you had or something like that and she had cancer.

I'm NOT saying that she was out to upset you, but people don't know your insides, your fears, your "what ifs", they think they NEED to tell you a cancer story.

Before I had my oopherectemo (everything taken out but one ovary) I had a woman telling me "yeah right, the doctors say its benign that is what they told a friend of mine and when they opened her up she was eat up with cancer"  I was told that ONE DAY before my surgery, and that woman KNEW I was having surgery the next day.  BTW, my very large fiboroids, cyst and endemotriosis was NOT cancer.

People like us if we hear or read a wrong word we can fall apart with fear.  As you can see I never posted a health question on the heart board (except one to the doctor 4 yrs ago)  or on this board not because I do not trust the people here, but if I would get one scary answer I would fall into the "what if" again.  I give support, but stay away from receiving it.  That is just me.  Everybody is different.  

Several doctors told me in the past to stay away from health message boards, Google, and medical books.

In my opinion what this woman said to you was uncalled for. She doesn't know your condition, is not your doctor and is not god.

[Happy2girls]

I am afraid that your anxiety may be turning into depression.  In Sept, 2006 out of the blue I was blind-sided with health anxiety.  I went to the ER twice in one week and to my doctor numerous times.  I did not believe I had anxiety because being born a worry wart I did not have any unusual concerns or issues at that time.  The anxiety (health obsession) affected my sleep which caused even more problems (lack of sleep can do awful things to the body and mind).  It affected my relationship with my kids and my husband.  I was crying all the time.  You get the picture.  My Mom finally said that she was afraid I was entering into a depression.  So, I took my doctors advice and took the xanax he prescribed (I know, I know).  I only had to take literally about 6 pills before I recognized that they helped and if they helped that my problems were indeed caused by anxiety.  For me that was enough.  I have been able to deal with my symptoms without meds since although I do see a therapist whose trying to teach me ways to relax and not worry so much.  I know that we are all unique and not evrything works for everybody but I just wanted to relay my story and what worked for me.  I truly hope you feel better soon.      

[spade22]

bip, I agree with tanns and Suzi.  

1) You have been CLEARED of cancer.  Bloating is caused by MANY things including diet and stress.  Get treatment for your anxiety and see if that helps.  Keep a food journal to see if there is a correlation between what you eat and extent of bloating.  These are very easy things to try.

2) Definitely get a 2nd opinion from another doctor.  The one you have now is ignoring some very important symptoms - ANXIETY.  This is clear, to me, based on the number of times you have seen her in the last month and the number of times you have called her office wanting results.  It should be quite apparent that you have an underlying anxiety disorder (which could be causing your symptoms!) and nothing is being done to treat this.  Instead she is considering giving you a CAT scan??????????  I dont understant why your doctor would order an expensive test when all other tests that would show anything serious have come back NEGATIVE.  I also dont understand why your doctor would order an expensive test without looking into treating some of the other WELL-KNOWN causes of bloating.  Bip, have you been completely honest with your doctor?  Does she know all-consuming your anxiety is? In any case, I highly recommend you see a different family doctor for a 2nd opinion and see what their recommendations are (will save you a LOT of money if they dont think a CAT scan is necessary).

3) Make an appointment w/ a physchiatrist.  They can HELP you.  Whether the bloating is primary or secondary in nature to the anxiety, is irrevelant as you have been anxious about one thing or another for a very long time now.  The bloating is just your current fixation - once this is resolved, I think you will find something else to be anxious about.  Case in point - right after your appointment last week you were told you didnt have any serious problems and were "happy" and anxiety-free.  Shortly after this you said you were anxious about walking your boys to school!  With anxiety disorders it is difficult to enjoy life because you negative focus tends to move from one "target" to another.  Please see a physchiatrist to talk these things over and work out how to get your LIFE back.  PLEASE BIP!  What do you have to lose????