I FEEL CRAZY!

[rubenstein821]

I am 21 years old with two children ages 15 months and 8 weeks.

I had my first ever panic attack about 3 years ago after smoking some marijuna which is something that I did regularly since I was 14 and since having the panic attack have not touched a narcotic.
The experience that I had was so frightening that for an entire 3 months i could barely function. I would have panic attacks regularly and would be scared to go anywhere or do anything in fear I would have another. After about 3 months I felt normal again and went on living life. Since then I have had very few small panic attacks and can usually talk myself through them quickly..

recently about the last week or so my anxiety has been so high and although I know there is great reason to explain the anxiety it literally came out of no where on day. I was sitting at a friends house with my kids talking about all the things that I have to get done, all the deadlines that I have and boom panic attack.. since then I have had such a hard time. I got sick with the flu the very next day after this attack and then came down with a sinus and ear infection from the flu which has caused me to have vertigo and has only made my anxiety worse. The constant not feeling like I am in reality is driving me insane.. All i want to do is feel like i did 2 weeks ago.. NORMAL.

I know that stress can only build so much until the body gives out and that is what I feel like happened to me but I am not sure what to do.. I dont want to be put on medication because I know that this will not last forever and I know that meds should be a last resort.. I fear so many things all the time even worse after having my kids, about my health, and with the anxiety I wont touch any medication of any kind unless I have to in fear of it altering my mind... that fear goes back to the marijuana incident which i know..

I just want to know if anyone out there can relate to me..
I do have forms of hypocondria and hate it.. got that from my mother growing up, and I know that adds alot of harship for me... but to know i am not alone in and of itself at this point would be so comforting..

Thank you in advance

[rubenstein821]

I agree, and trust me i spend my days praying for sure!

[nirvana1234]

I bet it is hard.. We all struggling with something.. I want to enjoy what i got, but is super hard keeping a straight face when deep inside my heart im suffering. Is sooo sad... I hate this.. Like my only hope i have is god..  I guess we have to continue our lifes n try to make it our best.. Especially yoy that have two innocent child.. They need their mommy.. I feel so bad that you are going through this.. If is really hard for me, i bet is for you... We need nore positive thinking... That's the only thing that can help us.n god ofcourse without god, i have no idea where i would been.

[rubenstein821]

thank you so much!
YEs it is really hard.. I am in a constant struggle with myself.. until I got sick I didnt feel like any of this.. seems like when I am sick my anxiety is on the rise..
I know that my ear infection is probably whats causing my spells of vertigo.. but the frustrating thing is that since getting this ear infection the vertigo is constant and makes me so freaked out.. feeling like your swaying all the time or you cant fully focus your eyes is the worst feeling ever..

I try to be as positive around my kids as possible because I dont want it to effect them,.. but it is hard..