I don't believe the doctors when they say I am fine

[ulike2no]

Hi Charlotte.  Wow, ready your post and everyone else really helps me out as well.  I have been dying for six months myself.  I talk to my friend about it and she gives me a great laugh because she's like Rayn, girl you have been dying since January.  The sound of her saying that makes me laugh at the time but it truly is not funny when going through the motions.  I am constantly going to the ER.  For example, I went last night.  For about two days I have had pressure in my back, chest, neck, throat, water brash, sour taste in my mouth, abdominal pain, and the feeling like I am choking on my saliva.  I ran out of work about 45 minutes before the end of my shift because I could not take the discomfort any longer.  I went to the ER and when I got there they put me on a heart monitor for a while, ECG, chest x-rays were done. Dr. came in and said everything looks fine that I have some esophagus problems going on.  Of course, I don't want to believe it.  I think that there is some undetected disease that is killing me and the doctors are all in on it.  I don't know why I even go to the dr because I have a difficult time believing what they tell me.  I always think that I am a part of a study and they assure me that everything will be ok so that I don't panic and when I die they are going to test may organs and everything to find a cure for this "undetected disease".  It is a horrible way to live and I always think I am going to die any minute.  I am afraid to leave my house because I think I am going to fall out somewhere and not be found.

Will this ever stop?

[scaredjo]

hiya welcome to my world i find therapy is the best bet dont waste your life worrying like i have (14 years) you had the tests and you gotta trust the doctor easier said than done i know but until you have trust you wont improve good luck

[duckandcover]

I've had to rationally stop myself from going to the ER during what I "rationally" knew was just a panic attack.  I couldn't believe that it was not heart related.  I've since been checked out and I'm fine.  I believe that. But doubts still creep in.

nursegirl is right on the money.  Get some help for the real problem.

[ulike2no]

Thanks so much. I was going to therapy with a LPC and he got frustrated with me after 8 weeks of seeing him. I could not understand that everything that I am feeling is related to anxiety/panic/paranoia and he kind of got frustrated and tried to push me off on someone else. It made me stop going to him. I guess he has never been through what I am going through and really does not have the patience to deal with people like me. I just hope that there is nothing major going wrong and the doctors are overlooking it. I have been on heart monitors, ECG's, x-rays, blood work and they say I am fine. I just dont feel fine. I constantly feel like I am sick and I just want to be able to breath again and not worry about dying every single minute of the day.

Thanks guys!

[kcdem]

nursegirl is on the money. you need a psychiatrist. a medical doctor cant help you with your health phobia.

i wish you the best.

kcdem

[nursegirl6572]

You are not alone.  Many people suffer from Health Phobias...and have very irrational thoughts about their health, including not being able to accept a "thumbs up" from their doctor, despite exhauastive diagnostic work-ups and a lot of proof supporting the doctors' assessment.

Have you sought any professional help at this point?  If not...that is where you need to start.  Ask your doc for a referral to a psychiatrist who can give you a proper diagnosis and begin formulating an appropriate treatment plan for you.

Stick around here.....you can really learn a lot...most importantly that you're not alone.  There IS help...it just takes some time and patience.  Best of luck to you.