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I feel like I'm dying...

So for the past 6 months I've had bad anxiety and panic attacks. I started therapy and was told I have generalized anxiety, illness anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and moderate depression.
I have this huge fear of me having a blood clot even after getting a catscan and it coming back all clear. I have a fear that I may have something wrong despite me going to the hospital and my primary doctor and everything coming back normal and being told I'm 100% healthy. I still feel like I have something thay isn't being detected and that I'll die. I'm afraid I'll just die out of nowhere. I'm constantly looking at myself in the mirror and checking my pulse. I've been to the hospital several times as well.
I'm going to therapy and will start CBT this Friday and I'll be seeing a doctor in two weeks for medication. I was prescribed zoloft in January for my anxiety but I felt it didn't work and made me worse so I stopped taking it. I was recently prescribed xanax by the hospital and at first I felt great when taking it but for the last two days I've felt worse so I don't really want to take it anymore. But how do I get past the "I'm dying, I have a blood clot in my lungs, I'm going to randomly die, I'm slowly dying, and the feeling as I'm dying" phase? It's taken over a big part of my life...
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Avatar universal
Hi there.  I'm so sorry to hear your going through this.  I have gone through this 24 years ago, and it still comes and goes through the years.  I don't wish it on anyone.  I don't know why the fear of dying and death comes in, but it's there too.  And I too went to the hospital with my heart rate in the 100's (158) and sent home many times telling me I'm ok.  I did finally end up with SVT (supraventricular tachycardia) so I am on a beta blocker, propranolol that helps lower my pulse, but it is also helpful with anxious people.  I have taken different SSRI's and SNRI's over the past 7 years, and always have Xanax as needed for the more anxious moments, as the antidepressants never take away the anxiety.  I have also been in counseling for 20 years, off and on, and some years are better than others.  I don't know why I have this chemical imbalance and why I get to spend my whole life afraid, but it is what it is.  I pray a lot and try to do the very best I can.  I hope that you will be able to move through this quickly and never deal with it again.  Get into good counseling, try natural supplements, or medication, your preference.  Meditate, find relaxation tapes/cds to listen to.  Find ways to calm yourself. It's hard, I know, I've been exactly where you are and it's hard to relax when your in that state of panic, so that is where counseling and natural remedies or medication will come in.  I hope you will find peace.
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1530171 tn?1448129593
Hmm, what happened 6 months ago?

If you only experienced this, starting 6 months ago, what do you think triggered it?
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Avatar universal
I also have health/Illness anxiety and panic disorder. I have stuggled to accept that anxiety makes me feel the way I do. I get a lot of physical symptoms and have had many tests done with clear results. It is hard for me to think that nothing is wrong with me physically even though I get dizzy or feel like I can't breathe. The problem I find is control, or lack thereof. We are only in control of our health to some degree, the rest is out of our hands. It's hard to accept, but overtime (if you keep working at it) it does become easier to regain control when you feel like you are freaking out about health stuff. Going to CBT will probably help as well.
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