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I have anxiety when around girls that I like...

Whenever I am physically with a girl for a while or get a strong sense of a girl I like I feel nauseous and if it is a strong reaction I throw up. For example, during my 16th birthday party. I invited my guy a friend's and a couple of girls, including one that I liked at the time. It turned out that right when she arrived I felt a horrible feeling and went and threw up in the toilet. This reaction also happens when is something is just instantly put upon me. Like if my dad said my cousin is spending the night at our house right now, I would get the weird feeling and possibly throw up. Currently right now I am talking to a girl over snap chat. It has been going alright, but all of a sudden when I see a pic of her face or something she says rocks me, I get the feeling and almost throw up. I have never been on a date before, never kissed a girl, etc. I honestly don't know what to do at this point because I want to form a relationship with somebody or simply ask a girl to homecoming, but this problem is pushing me back. If anyone can give me any tips on how to overcome this anxiety it would be much appreciated.
4 Responses
Avatar universal
The nausea is from fear so that is your only problem. Is there a counselor at your school who you can talk this over with?
1 Comments
What is nausea exactly? Because I will suddenly feel a wired feeling in my stomach and will start to salivate and then I'd strong enough, will throw up. So I have gone to a psychologist a couple of times. He gave me a couple options on how to pursue this problem. The one that I personally picked was to push through it. That is why right now I'm trying to get to know a girl that i am interested in. Since talking to her over snap chat I have felt the weird feeling twice, one of them I was salivating, but did not throw up.
Avatar universal
Have you gone to the doctor? I have anxiety as well, and I used to feel very sick when I would get anxious. I started on anxiety medication when I started college because it was a big change for me. I still get anxious now, but it is much better than it used to be. I would recommend going to a doctor to talk about it. If you are against taking anxiety medications or if you want to try something else first, then I would try journaling or yoga. Journaling was especially helpful for me because I felt that a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I've heard that yoga can be very therapeutic.
1 Comments
I can't remember if I've gone to my doctor about this problem, but the psychologist that I've gone to, taking medication was one of his ideas to get through or see if it would help this problem. He also said it could possibly just go away after time and when I'm done maturing. Do you think I should go to talk to him again about medication or should I just keep doing ehat I'm doing as pushing through the nausea feeling and vomiting?
Avatar universal
First, psychologists don't do medication, psychiatrists do.  Second, you're too young for medication and this problem isn't one for medication, it's one to solve.  Doctors won't help you with this -- the psychologist is the expert on this, not your doctor -- doctors don't study psychology.  Clearly, you have an insecurity problem, which is so common at your age.  Have you talked about this with your friends, or are your relationships confined to the internet?  Real people face to face are much more, well, real than the internet, and they tend to be more understanding.  You've very young -- you're just starting out on something new and you're more nervous about it than most but all of us were nervous at first and most of stay nervous all our lives when it comes to meeting people we are sexually interested in.  Some people do it easily, but most of don't ever do it easily.  We just do it.  Usually, it works out okay as it goes along until it doesn't, but that's another story.  I think you're taking this too seriously, expecting yourself to be more than humans really are.  Get off the internet and interact more with real people.  It will take time, but you probably needed some time to learn everything you've learned -- this is no different.  Keep working with the psychologist, but try to work on why you feel so insecure over something everyone goes through, why you're making yourself so miserable over this at such a young age?  I don't know if you play a sport, but if you do I bet you got a lot better over time than you were at the beginning.  Sex is just like that.  Learn to ease up on yourself and I think you'll see you're just a normal 16 year old.
1 Comments
Ya a couple of my closers friends know about the problem are are helping me push through it. But that's does make sense to not take medication at my age right now. Do you have any tips for when I start to feel this uneasy feeling around women that I like?
Avatar universal
First, psychologists don't do medication, psychiatrists do.  Second, you're too young for medication and this problem isn't one for medication, it's one to solve.  Doctors won't help you with this -- the psychologist is the expert on this, not your doctor -- doctors don't study psychology.  Clearly, you have an insecurity problem, which is so common at your age.  Have you talked about this with your friends, or are your relationships confined to the internet?  Real people face to face are much more, well, real than the internet, and they tend to be more understanding.  You've very young -- you're just starting out on something new and you're more nervous about it than most but all of us were nervous at first and most of stay nervous all our lives when it comes to meeting people we are sexually interested in.  Some people do it easily, but most of don't ever do it easily.  We just do it.  Usually, it works out okay as it goes along until it doesn't, but that's another story.  I think you're taking this too seriously, expecting yourself to be more than humans really are.  Get off the internet and interact more with real people.  It will take time, but you probably needed some time to learn everything you've learned -- this is no different.  Keep working with the psychologist, but try to work on why you feel so insecure over something everyone goes through, why you're making yourself so miserable over this at such a young age?  I don't know if you play a sport, but if you do I bet you got a lot better over time than you were at the beginning.  Sex is just like that.  Learn to ease up on yourself and I think you'll see you're just a normal 16 year old.
7 Comments
Also do you think that I should tell this girl that I'm talking to about the problem and see if that helps.
That might be risky telling her unless you word it right - If you do it right she MAY feel that you are a real person with real fears so it might work to your benefit. Maybe you can ask the psychologist about that too.

I agree with paxiled that this isn't something to take medication over especially at your age. Besides there could be stigma attached if others find out you are taking meds to overcome fear.
Some alcoholics get their start using alcohol to calm their nerves and end up with a bigger problem but that is sort of irrelevant
So saying that should I just keep pushing through. Because my senior homecoming is in a couple weeks and it would be cool for me to ask someone, but not totally nessages like prom is. I honestly feel fine and me myself knows everything is alright, but like what I said something just clicks and then I get the weird feeling.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain if you can successfully push on. It is your call though.
Do you know of any tips if I become in the situation where I have the feeling that can help quickly receive it? Because usually  when I get the feeling it takes me like 10 min or more to go back to normal
We all wish anxiety was simple to deal with, but because it isn't many people suffer. Only tip I can think of is to read a book of famous quotes and find one you like and keep repeating it to help you de-focus from anxiety. Or maybe read a book about anxiety which will have suggestions.
AnxiousNoMore is right about that -- anxiety is really hard.  But the main thing is not to turn it into something that becomes chronic.  Here's the thing -- at your age the likelihood that any romantic relationship is going to last very long is really really slim.  So you don't have much to lose by telling the girl you're nervous.  She might find it refreshing and cute.  She might find it a total turn-off.  But hey, seriously, this isn't the person you're going to spend a lifetime with anyway so what really do you have to lose?  And if it works, well, maybe you've found a closer for all the girls you'll be meeting later!
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