I just want to feel normal again

[katie4688]

I am 16 years old, I have been feeling strange for about a month and a half now. Since June 28th to be exact. Two days before my birthday. That was the day that I had my first huge anxiety attack. I have always had a mild anxiety disorder, along with tourettes, but it was never, ever this bad. Since the 28th, I have felt different. As if I stepped through some time of door and it was locked behind me. I feel dizzy every single day, I have strange thoughts of death (of myself, others). I am constantly worried that I have some type of disease, or a brain tumor, cancer, or something. My limbs go numb randomly. Light is really hard on my eyes. I have bad headaches, accompanied by pressure in my head (which is the main reason for my thoughts about a brain tumor). I have no desire to go out and have fun, my vision often goes blurry and it always feels like im high or something. it looks like there's a layer of something over everything I look at. My brain always feels foggy, and i'm always scared. I feel so alone because none of my friends actually know what I mean when I say that I feel wierd. I have smoked for 5 years, but I have now cut down to 1 or 2 a day, somedays less because i am convinced that smoking is one of the reasons for this. I drink occassionally, about the same amount as alot of other teenagers. Only once every couple of weekends or so. Never have done any hard drugs in my life. I used to smoke weed a couple years ago, and that's it. But don't anymore because i don't like the effects. I feel like these thoughts that i'm going to die are consuming my life. "it feels like my body is trying to shut itself down and I can't do anything about it". This is no way to live, i just need to know that i'm not alone. Please help me, I just want to feel normal again.

[Mattyice11]

Hey Katie I feel like this same exact thing every single day I will not tell you how long I have felt this way because I don't want to scare you I'm 17 I live in California I used to have a normal life normal guy doing normal stuff and all of a sudden one day everything changed and I don't know what it was  that layer over my eyes scenario u made is 100 percent accurate for me I feel like this everyday I pray it gets better and I know it will i would like to talk to u more i know we are both looking for answers

[LaLa92]

OMG . I feel the same way as you do . I want my old life back too . :( .

[jul04]

I think trying to convince yourself that it is your mind doing this to you is the hardest part.  Sometimes it is hard to wrap your head around the fact that our minds are so powerful and at times can have such a negative effect on us.  

As hard as it try not to think about it.  Try and do things to take your mind off of the anxiety.  Also, try not to dwell on how you were feeling yesterday or even an hour ago because that will just start the cycle all over again.  If you have a symptom just tell yourself that you are fine and ignore it.  Eventually it will go away.  

I know that this is really really hard to do but it can be done.  You can overcome this and you might need some help along the way but you can do it.

Lots of luck.

[katie4688]

I have spoken to my mom about it, and I do have a doctors appointment comming up. I keep telling myself that there's nothing really wrong with me and that it's just my mind playing tricks on me. But it's becomming to much of a fuss to constantly have to reasure myself that i'm safe, and well, not dying. I guess I am hoping to find a way to at least soften my symptoms.

Thank you so much for replying, I really do appreciate it.

[jul04]

I am sorry that you are feeling so bad.  First of all please know that you are not alone.  Anxiety can be crippling and the more you worry about it the worse it becomes.  

Have you spoken to your parents about this?  If you can't speak to them do you have someone else that you are close too that you can talk too?  

I think you should see your dr for a physical as well as a therapist.  I know that most teenagers aren't too thrilled with the idea of seeing a therapist but to be perfectly honest with you they are a great outlet.  They are trained professionals there to help you and they can teach you coping skills.  Please consider it.

Also make sure you are taking care of yourself.  Eat lots of fresh fruit and vegetables and exercise.  Yoga and meditation are great for anxiety.  Also keeping a journal might help you.  It is a great way to get anything you might have bottled up inside you out.  The other thing I will recommend is please, please don't research "your symptoms" on the net.  The net is great for lots of things but when it comes to researching medical things I have found that it makes my anxiety worse because I think that I have every disease under the sun....I can't stress this enough....

Please keep posting here.  Everyone on this forum is here to help you and we understand.  I really hope you feel better.