I suffer from anxiety..triggered by female nudity in movies when watching w/ my BF

[sallyrunner]

I really don't understand why I get so mad when my boyfriend tells me about the movies he's seen.. especially scary movies that humiliate women..

I know it's just a movie and he would have watched it with or without those scenes.. I just get so mad. I'm not sure if it's my confidence or jealousy.. I used to not care and now I get so mad when I think about all these naked woman and nasty scenes. I don't tell him I get upset because I know it's crazy.. please tell me what you think could be going on and how to avoid getting so upset about it.. does anyone else feel this way?

[specialmom]

Wait a minute.  Is this because your boyfriend is seeing it?  OHHHH, different thing entirely.  Are you uncomfortable because you don't want HIM to look?  

[Paxiled]

That's what it seems, Mom, and why I'm thinking this isn't anxiety but a genuine concern.  Still and all, and maybe it's just growing up in the Sixties in California, but I just don't get the problem with nudity.  Never could figure out what about the human body was so offensive to people.  But I think here, Mom, the boyfriend likes scary movies and the poster is right, a lot of them are pretty humiliating not just to women but also to minorities -- the cliche about who die first in them.   And to me at least, that's a real issue, not necessarily anxiety, which is irrational.

[Paxiled]

And just to be clear, Mom, your sons die of embarrassment?  Not what I remember about being a guy -- or what it's like now.  Are they embarrassed because you're there?

[specialmom]

   I am not discussing my sons with you in that way and was giving my thoughts to the poster.  

[specialmom]

Okay, I have sons.  OMG< how they pop in nudity into movies is amazing.  And all three of us die of embarrassment when it happens!  We try to read through movies ahead of time that have it and avoid it or they know to predict it is going to happen (which you can usually tell when a romantic scene is starting) and they look away.  Done, they don't see it and no one is embarrassed. Sure, once in a while it comes out of nowhere but that isn't really that common.  And that is like BAM, a quick flash of a breast or something and over.  Again, most nudity is pretty predictable in a movie.  That's not the same thing but you can brain storm how to save yourself from the trigger event.  good luck

[Paxiled]

You say you suffer from anxiety, but don't mention any anxiety problem, so first, do you have an anxiety problem?  Being upset by something in life that disturbs you isn't anxiety.  I'm sure lots of things bother you.  Anxiety is when you suffer irrational fears that make your life more difficult.  The issue you're mentioning is one that gets mentioned a lot in life, there are organizations set up just because of this kind of thing.  I might ask, though, why you equate nudity with scary movies that humiliate women.  Nudity is what we all wear underneath our clothing.  It's not really a big deal.  Humiliating women is a big deal, but is a completely different thing than people taking their clothes off  because they choose to do that without anyone forcing them to do that.  Personally, I've always had more of a problem with unnecessary violence in films than with nudity or sex, because one makes us feel good and the other doesn't.  But that's just me.  If you do have an anxiety problem, let us know what it is.  If you're just feeling you're incompatible with your boyfriend or don't like his taste in things, again, that's not anxiety, that's a different and normal thing we all have to face in life.  

[ZooToy]

I feel exactly the same as you.  I have strong opinions and reactions on nudity (especially involving females), sex, gender violence and humiliation and rape being played out in movies.  Unfortunately I have been on the receiving end of all of these and I feel strongly the world is a very bad and sad place as is and it is NOT necessary to address these sick topics just to make movies sell. I have read an article once about a survey been done, confirming that every fourth man on this planet thought about committing rape or has raped before. Maybe my sad experiences made me more sensitive, but I still think it is wrong for women to be exploited in such a way.  Pornography is the root to all evil done to women and children, why must it be “enjoyed” in other media as well? You can make a frog get used to hot water by exposing it to lukewarm water for a while, after that ANYTHING goes…sickening isn’t it?  No wonder people don’t work on their romantic relationships, because nothing is sacred anymore.  In this case after all my bad experiences, I don’t want to be reminded of how hopeless I feel as a woman in an evil world.  Every time I venture into a new relationship with a new man, I am already suffering great anxiety before the first bag of salt even, because I know what men are thinking….I know there are a few that are good men, but they are very scarce. In my experience so far I had to deal with only the bad ones and it violated my trust in men in so many ways.  I am forever emotionally scarred, when I man becomes interested in me as a woman, I tend to “run”.