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Avatar universal

I'm 20 and suddenly dying.

So, i dont want to make this too long. This is my first time reaching out on a medical forum like this but i just dont know what to do anymore. I always underestimated anxiety. I knew so many people who said they had it and thought they were exaggerating. Well, last year i had my first panic attack. Out of nowhere. I was up for hours with a racing heartbeat and shortness of breath so bad i truly thought it was the end, i mean i repented and everything. Well when i went to the er they told me i was having palpitations and asked me about anxiety. I insisted ive never had anxiety in my life. Its all been downhill from there. Ever since one year ago, since that night, everything that happens scares me to the point of affecting my life majorly. I went thru 6 months of feeling so dizzy every time i stood up i could barely make it to work. And now every single thing that happens to me makes me so scared i have cancer or some other horrible disease and im going to die. My anxiety is completely health related. I notice hair in a brush and im going bald, i find a beauty mark on my arm and i have skin cancer, I have tingling in my fingers i have MS, i have headaches i have a brain tumor, i have a tiny bump in my mouth i have oral cancer. I have already spent my entire out of pocket maximum at the doctors and i cant afford these bills. They say i am fine every time and it DOES NOT MATTER. i am so scared to die. I FINALLY feel like i have so much to live for and now i am scared i dont have much time left and it doesnt matter what friends family medical professionals tell me, something is wrong with me and im not gonna make it to 25. In my mind i know i am overreacting but i do have physical symptoms and i dont know...i just dont know what else to do when the doctor says i am okay and i still am so scared. Its literally taking over my life. Right now i am focused on the lump in my mouth. My PC said he is sure it is nothing but gave me a referral to an oral surgeon to get it biopsied just because he knows how i am lately. Also i am on 15 mgs of Buspar twice daily. I dont have many choices for medicine because i cant take anything that reacts with the amitriptyline i am on for my vulvodynia (which is about the only thing i actually do have). If you read this whole thing thank you i just really need some advice on managing my anxiety and living a normal life. I am so scared of dying i dont know what to do.
2 Responses
Avatar universal
Hi I totally sympathise with you. I had always been fine didn't even think about health issue then my mum died in January 2015 and since then I have all these "physical anxiety" symptoms that u describe even when I don't have anxious thoughts! It's all health anxiety apparently but it doesn't make it easy. I am 29 and have never felt so bad in my life! Constant headaches numbness tingling heart palps indigestion sore tight chest adrenaline rushes in chest and the list goes on. I seem to focus on head or chest so whatever I am focused on one day say my chest that's where I get my symptoms. Then I can 10 days no symptoms and I'm thinking great! Then it's all back. I take 40mg propranolol a day but to be honest I don't think it does anything except slow my racing heart from worrying!
Avatar universal
You are not alone. Last year i had my first full blown panic attack just like you. I thought i was dying. i had a very bad headache for weeks because of all the stress i was causing myself so i was convinced i had a brain tumor. I went and got an MRI of my brain and was fine. I just came off of lexapro because of the weight gain and am hoping to find a medication that works for me. I am terrified of dying too and always think something is wrong with me. Talk to your doctor and get .25 xanax to have around when you have a serious panic attack. You are not alone even though you feel like you are and you feel like no one else understands.
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