Aa
I'm so sad :'(
After some months that I left University because panic/anxiety disorder ,after some weeks of being housebound today I took all my forces and went back at University.I hate traveling by buss.Today I traveled by it and I felt so bad :'( I started having panick atack in buss,at University too .I couldn't breathe,my hearte beated like crazy,and my body start shaking.I feelt so weak.I felt traped and just wanted to go back at hope
:'( Tomorrow I have to go to a birthday party at my fiance's families house and I have no an idea what I'm gonna do :'( I'm feeling so sad,I'm crying like baby :'( hellllllllllll this is NOT live
:'( Tomorrow I have to go to a birthday party at my fiance's families house and I have no an idea what I'm gonna do :'( I'm feeling so sad,I'm crying like baby :'( hellllllllllll this is NOT live
Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. It breaks my heart to read your posts, because I've SO been there (as I've told you). I know how awful that feeling is.
I once took a week long vacation to Vegas with a group of people, and I had one panic attack after another, every single day, all day and night....and I suffered in silence, as I wasn't comfortable sharing with any of the people I was traveling with what I was going through. It was the LONGEST week of my life.
But, you know what? Like mele said, you ARE pushing yourself, and hon, that's HUGE. Truly. I know it feels awful in the moment, but later on, once you're back home and settled down, do you feel at least a little proud of yourself? That helped me a lot in those kinds of circumstances. Celebrate every single accomplishment, NONE are too small or insignificant. They're all stepping stones to progress.
Keeping you in my thoughts, as always.
I once took a week long vacation to Vegas with a group of people, and I had one panic attack after another, every single day, all day and night....and I suffered in silence, as I wasn't comfortable sharing with any of the people I was traveling with what I was going through. It was the LONGEST week of my life.
But, you know what? Like mele said, you ARE pushing yourself, and hon, that's HUGE. Truly. I know it feels awful in the moment, but later on, once you're back home and settled down, do you feel at least a little proud of yourself? That helped me a lot in those kinds of circumstances. Celebrate every single accomplishment, NONE are too small or insignificant. They're all stepping stones to progress.
Keeping you in my thoughts, as always.
Thank you everyone for everything you're doing for me.I forced my self to go there.I went in that party.even my anxiety was so bad,and I had panick atacks. I felt horrible ,but I tried a looooottttt.I fighted wirh my anxiety even I had milion thoughts in my head.No one there understood my panick or my anxiety,I puted my fake smile,but I did it. :)
I am not sure this will be any consolation but I wouldn't worry about the boyfriend not being supportive. He doesn't understand anxiety so it is foreign to him. You will find you have to conquer anxiety yourself and/or with your doc because your friends aren't professionals so often can't help you anyway - at least that is the way it was with me. If you are worried that all those party people might set you off then my advice is to find an excuse to not go and tell your boyfriend it is a bad time in your life at the moment so tell him that he needs to cut you some slack.
Have you discussed with your doc that the Xanax is not helping? This is a terrible situation dealing with anxiety when the med won't help you out but perhaps doc has some other things that would work.
Having nightmares adds to the punishment that anxiety is giving you, but don't give up because you are feeling weaker than anxiety. It is true that sometimes anxiety can be stronger than any person, however the nightmares might go away and lots of people find a way to become stronger than the anxiety - although I am not saying anxiety is curable for all people/ You need to see a professional because they might be able to help.
Are the nightmares portraying a real problem or just crazy dreams? If real problems then perhaps a counselor should be consulted to help you deal with the issues. You said you fear dying - Are you ill or just having a crazy dream that is not really an issue? If just a crazy dream you know it isn't important once you wake up.
Have you discussed with your doc that the Xanax is not helping? This is a terrible situation dealing with anxiety when the med won't help you out but perhaps doc has some other things that would work.
Having nightmares adds to the punishment that anxiety is giving you, but don't give up because you are feeling weaker than anxiety. It is true that sometimes anxiety can be stronger than any person, however the nightmares might go away and lots of people find a way to become stronger than the anxiety - although I am not saying anxiety is curable for all people/ You need to see a professional because they might be able to help.
Are the nightmares portraying a real problem or just crazy dreams? If real problems then perhaps a counselor should be consulted to help you deal with the issues. You said you fear dying - Are you ill or just having a crazy dream that is not really an issue? If just a crazy dream you know it isn't important once you wake up.
Wow - I'm sorry your fiance responded that way, that must have been hard for you.
I'm also sorry about the nightmares - it's hard when one place we hope will be safe and help us - sleeping - is so chaotic in that way.
I know it feels like this is stronger than you, but it isn't. Look at what you HAVE done - you've survived. You survived your bus trip. You are making it through one day at a time. That takes an immense about of courage and guts. More than anyone imagines.
Try breaking your day into small tasks. Looking at your whole day can be overwhelming. When my anxiety is at its worst, my inner dialogue sounds like I'm coaching a 3 yr old, and it helps. "All you have to do right now is get in the shower....great! You did it! Good job! Now - all you have to do is brush your teeth. See? Look at you, brushing those teeth! Now, all you have to do is...etc etc. etc." It can be really important to celebrate those small victories. And sometimes that victory is as simple as getting through a conversation with the Starbucks barista without crying.
Keep searching for help, armira, till you find something that works for you. Even if it means changing drs or something.
I'm also sorry about the nightmares - it's hard when one place we hope will be safe and help us - sleeping - is so chaotic in that way.
I know it feels like this is stronger than you, but it isn't. Look at what you HAVE done - you've survived. You survived your bus trip. You are making it through one day at a time. That takes an immense about of courage and guts. More than anyone imagines.
Try breaking your day into small tasks. Looking at your whole day can be overwhelming. When my anxiety is at its worst, my inner dialogue sounds like I'm coaching a 3 yr old, and it helps. "All you have to do right now is get in the shower....great! You did it! Good job! Now - all you have to do is brush your teeth. See? Look at you, brushing those teeth! Now, all you have to do is...etc etc. etc." It can be really important to celebrate those small victories. And sometimes that victory is as simple as getting through a conversation with the Starbucks barista without crying.
Keep searching for help, armira, till you find something that works for you. Even if it means changing drs or something.
Thank you for your posts.Mele48 I was traveling by buss and there was my fiance but he doesn't care what I feel,he just says I'm not a doctor,don't ask me.And tomorrow he's forcing me to go in that party :'(
About my treatment,I don't know what to say ,my psyshiatrists never gave me something to help my anxiety.I took xanax but it hasn't effect to stop my severe panick atack :'(
You know after I posted this questin,I fall asleep and I thought I was dying wile sleeping because I have a nightmare and it was awful :'( I sleep everynight and wake up with nihhtmares. I'm so tired of being here.I swear I'm tired of trying to live and hang on but this illness is stronger than me :'(
About my treatment,I don't know what to say ,my psyshiatrists never gave me something to help my anxiety.I took xanax but it hasn't effect to stop my severe panick atack :'(
You know after I posted this questin,I fall asleep and I thought I was dying wile sleeping because I have a nightmare and it was awful :'( I sleep everynight and wake up with nihhtmares. I'm so tired of being here.I swear I'm tired of trying to live and hang on but this illness is stronger than me :'(
I'm sorry you're still struggling, armira.
In your last post, you said you tried xanax and it helped. Are you still taking it?
About traveling - is there someone who can travel with you? Can your fiance drive you where you need to go? At least that way you have someone with you you love and trust, and you can take all the breaks you need while traveling.
And about your struggle - - - I know it's hard when you're in the midst of the anxiety vortex. Nursegirl6572 gave you a lot of good recommendations in one of your recent posts. It sounds to me like you've been struggling for a while. Everyone deserves to be happy - and there is happiness out there, even with anxiety. Your life and happiness are worth the effort to find help.
Sending you good wishes - - -
In your last post, you said you tried xanax and it helped. Are you still taking it?
About traveling - is there someone who can travel with you? Can your fiance drive you where you need to go? At least that way you have someone with you you love and trust, and you can take all the breaks you need while traveling.
And about your struggle - - - I know it's hard when you're in the midst of the anxiety vortex. Nursegirl6572 gave you a lot of good recommendations in one of your recent posts. It sounds to me like you've been struggling for a while. Everyone deserves to be happy - and there is happiness out there, even with anxiety. Your life and happiness are worth the effort to find help.
Sending you good wishes - - -
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