Is it bad?

[redcapediver]

Is it bad that the only way I can open up to and be social with people is to be under the influence of alcohol? If this is in the wrong place, I apologize, and please move it. For instance, I'll come out of hiding from my home every once in a while, and go to a party with a close friend where there are many people I don't know. The whole time I'm there, I'm quiet and never say anything to anyone (except said friend) although I want to. So I end up not drinking, and getting in my car and leaving because of the social anxiety, and I'll kick myself for days for not opening up and meeting new people, because I know I will spend many lonely nights for the foreseeable future as a result.

Lets say a week later, said friend invites me to come out again, but this time life has me so stressed out that I drink, and then I am the life of the party. The whole time I'm there the people I was so shy around before keep going on and on about how cool, and how awesome I am. But then as soon as I'm sober around them again, I'll still clam up. But it's easier after that, because then they will try to talk to me more based on their experience of me at the party and I will soon open up and speak to them freely like I've known them for years.

I like who I am when I drink, even if its just enough to loosen me up. I'm never violent, I'm always happy when I drink. I'm just not sure if it's bad that I need to rely on it. I wish I could just express what alcohol does me naturally in order to befriend people. But it seems to be impossible for me.

[RubyWitch]

I can't add one single piece of advice to what you've already received. You are using the alcohol to self-medicate, and this is always a dangerous thing to do. I'll spare you the lecture.
You should see your doctor and have a long discussion about your drinking. There are much better and safer ways to deal with social anxiety, which I believe is what you are dealing with here. It is something that can be controlled and quite possibly "cured" if you follow your doctors advice and counsel. Find a good therapist and begin to deal with the issues that make you hide inside yourself and only let out when you've had enough alcohol. It's been proven to you that people like you.........you just need to accept that you're the same person with or without the alcohol. A good therapist and possibly a short course of meds, and I bet you'll soon be the life of the party.............stone cold sober!
Let us know how you're doing, OK?
Greenlydia

[peggy64]

red, are you on any type of anti anxiety med? If not, you might want to talk with your dr about one to help with social anxiety.

If you are, I would recommend that you do a study on the effects of alcohol mixed with drugs.

These issues are painful to deal with, and some people turn to alcohol and drugs. The trouble is, when you are sober, the problem remains to be dealt with again. Try to find a more permanent solution. If your dr is not working with you, then find one that will.
I wish you well.

[AnxiousGurl]

Ive been there and done that....and still do it occasionaly, but when you drink to calm yourself down and become dependent upon it because it takes your anxiety away...thats not good. I still struggle day to day with this problem. & thats exactly what it is a problem ontop of a problem. I love how social and anxiety free I am when I drink, but I know that at the same time time im poisoning my body and fooling my mind to think im okay.... its only a temporary solution to my anxiety. Eventually youll grow a tolerance for it and have to drink more and more to feel the effects. I find myself wanting to go to the liquor store to get a bottle....but I had to learn to be strong and say no to the urge, because I know its a dependency thing that is only going to make my anxiety worse in the end. Since 2 years of drinking and 6months of not I feel better than I did when I was drinking every or every other day. Its just not healthy. Go see a doc...i finally did..and for the first time THIS monday. (Mind you ive been suffering for 5&1/2 yrs)and its the BEST thing I could have ever done!!!

[scaredjo]

hiya i suffer from severe health anxiety, and alcohol plays a big part in my life i feel the same when i go to a pub im always worried but as soon as i have a couple wey hey im on top of the world although the day after i feel **** and my anxiety is sky high- i cant win.
the only advice i can give is please dont rely on alcohol to go out. if you are a funny person with it i`ll bet your cool with out it to its just a case of learning to relax with out the alcohol, have you been to a doctor about your social anxiety? therapy is excellent for this kind of thing.