Emotional Attachment to Inanimate Object

[gherkin2pickle]

I wasn't quite sure what category to put this question in, but it relates to anxiety so I thought why the heck not. Anyway, I'm a girl who just turned 15, and I've had my share of depression/anxiety in my life (don't panic though, I'm recovered now). The gist of the question is this: When I was adopted as an infant of a couple months old, my non-biological mother gave me a baby blanket, blue with teddy bears playing with balls and blocks and lollipops. I've had this blanket nearly my whole life, and still sleep with it today. I don't really know if it's normal for a teenager to sleep with his/her baby blanket, since you're older and don't really need it any more. I can certainly sleep without it now. When I was younger though, I would get bad panic/anxiety attacks before bed if I knew I wouldn't be sleeping with my blanket that night. For example, I brought my blanket with me to my grandma's funeral, for comfort and reassurance (I was 5, 6, or 7 at the time). However, when we left, I forgot it at the funeral home. So when bedtime rolled around and I knew it was lost, I FLIPPED OUT. I was crying and screaming and hyperventilating because I couldn't sleep with my blanket. I remember it so vividly. It sounds stupid, I know, but it really was one of the most emotionally frightening experiences of my life. Anyway, back to the point. When sleeping now, I normally just have the blanket next to me, and I'm not hanging on to it all night like a long time ago. Sometimes, on a hot night, I'll leave it out from under the covers and let it get nice and cool, and hug it to cool me down before I fall asleep. Like I said, I don't NEED it to sleep, and I don't freak out if I misplace it. But, still, I feel a connection to it? I named it "Blankie" when I was really little (I know, original), and he was afraid of heights. That's the only trait I gave him. Today, if I had a bad day at school, or an argument with my parents, I'll go into my room, flop onto my bed, and cover my face with the blanket. It has a certain smell to it, nothing in particular, just a unique smell. I would know it anywhere. And it doesn't necessary smell good like a batch of cookies, or bad like rotting apples, but just: A smell. And it comforts me so much whenever it is present. Is this weird? Should I try to break off ties with my blanket altogether? Will people judge me for it? Or is it okay? Because I really don't see myself abandoning this blanket unless it's necessary. I guess I could do it, because I'm not deathly attached to it like before, but still. I would appreciate your opinion on my predicament, and I'm sorry this is really long. It's 1am and I felt the need to overly explain absolutely everything. Thanks ^.^ <3

[gherkin2pickle]

Thanks for the help ^.^

[Gabriel L]

Have you tried contacting your biological mother? Maybe you are really yearning to meet her or have some protective contact with her all this time and craving contact with the blanket is easier than confronting the need to be embraced by your biological mother. Good luck on your journey.

[gherkin2pickle]

My biological mother didn't know who my father was. She was bipolar, slept around with a lot of people, was probably addicted to drugs, and had a lot of mental problems. There was a time when I really wanted to meet her, but I don't really think it would be a good idea now. I don't know what me showing up after nearly 2 decades of absence would to do her. So, I probably will never meet her.

[tess1ma0]

hi, I think that you've built an emotional bond with this blanket and by doing so haven't been able to let go of it, like most people can with teddy bears or toys. I can understand why you need it so much and hate to lose it/forget it, it relates to how you don't live with your biological mother and don't want to detach yourself from this blanket like your biological mother did from you. im so sorry if that offends you or hurts you, im trying to look at this from a  medical perspective. idk if you've been to a therapist or a counsellor but if you haven't then I recommend that you do, im sure plenty of them have experiences with teens/adults being emotionally attached to certain objects from childhood. is not as rare as you think. maybe do some research on it, talk to a counsellor/therapist about it and see how you can recover from this. its not exactly a disease or problem, its just a case of moving on and letting go.