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531005 tn?1286519132

Is there a cure for anxiety!? Please help!!!

Hello everyone!

Basically I convinced myself I had hiv through a one time sexual encounter.  I've been tested, and turns out I DON'T have it.  But, after freakin out about for 3 months, I can't shake off the constant thoughts about death.  I'm obsessed with death.  I think about how I'm going to die one day, like about 20x a day!  If I go to a party to relax, I'll think about how everyone at the party will one day die.  If I watch comedians, I think about how they will one day die.  

Is this some sort of phase?

I'm 23 years old, will I ever be back to my old self again?

My doctor labeled it "reactive anxiety" due to my fear of AIDS, and that he doesn't think I need meds for it.  I think if I start exercising again, it will make me feel better.  I just want to live day by day, and not worry about death.  I want to go back to my old cocky, arrogant self... and not in this weak panicky state.

I keep thinking the reason that this has affected me much is because prior to my situation I had like a narsassitic personality.  I thought I was all that and a bag of chips.  I thought I was indestructible.  And then I fall into fearing I have AIDS, which I associate as a death sentence(Although that's not true, people who are positive live long lives nowadays with the new meds out).  So on a scale of one through ten, I went from a 14 to a 1, overnight.  

So yeah, IS this a phase, you think?

Thank you all in advance.
6 Responses
Avatar universal
Your not the only one, im only 19 and im the same way I think about that all other people will die one day too.  Its really depressing, ive been going through this since my abortion in april.  If you've been cleared by the doc which i believe you said, you just need to learn how to relax and accept that its anxiety and nothing else and yes I know its hard but it really does help alot.  For me its up and down though I can go two days being able to calm myself down no problem and the next day or too all I think about is that its a heart attack, I think it just depends how my mood is or something.  Im not sure.  But after two months of this **** its slowly starting to eaze up a bit and I hope it does for you too!  But really all you can do is learn to accept it.  Hope everything goes well in the future! -misskld
538071 tn?1213690455
I'd say that it will calm down over time. I used to go through that all the time but as time has gone by I don't think on it as much as I used too.

If you feel you need to get some counseling etc then I'd advise doing so. It's really up to you what you feel you need.

What was your sexual encounter?
538071 tn?1213690455
And congratulations on your negative result also.
Avatar universal
alot of us who have anxiety problems think about death alot, even obsess over it, i did for so many years. but i finally started thinking about it in a different way. when you die your making room for a new life in this world, and your soul goes on to a much better place. there's a cycle to life, your born, you live your life the best you can and then when it's your time you leave this earth. there's nothing any of us can do about it so why spend precious time stressing about it ? try to get more into your spiritual self, i'm not saying go to church everyday, be at peace with yourself as much as possible and be a good caring person. your so young and so is misskld, your babies! sometimes you just have to let things go and get on with your life. i just wanted to give you some advise that works for me, i hope it helps if even a little bit. take care. remar
531005 tn?1286519132
Thanks for the advice, and support!

I wonder... since I'm obsessing over death... can a psychologist help change my obsession from death to some more productive(like exercise)?  

Oh, and for those who were curious about my sexual encounter... It was a one time performance of oral sex on a girl.  I felt guilty for cheating on my current girlfriend, and kinda let the guilt/stress/anxiety take over.  I knew I didnt have AIDs from that encounter but tortured myself to relieve the pain of the guilt.  It was kinda like I was my own judge, jury, and executioner.  Now I suffer from these obsessive thoughts of death.  Now that my sentence has been served, I wonder, how can I undo the damage I've done to myself?

Once again, thanks for the support guys!  Hehe, and thanks for taking time from your lives to help... I realize now, more than ever, that life is short and time is valuable!
Avatar universal
Phase. Not that uncommon at your age to think about this out of nowhere. It was just blown out of proportion with the HIV scare. Give it 6 months and you will be back to normal. :) It's one of those facts of life that you don't really ever forget but try not to think about it. Religion is how most deal with it to get past it. Other wise time will make the HIV feelings go away. Just that you thought life was over and faced reality of death even if you were safe. 6 months and you will be back to normal. That's a lot for something to sink in when you just first think about death. I went through it. I think just about everyone does at some point. Keep busy until it passes.
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