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19066040 tn?1471821148

Is this anxiety, depression, or normal...?

I need help. Anxiety-- or what i expect to be anxiety, is ruining my life and my relationship with my fiance. I'm 19 and usually a very bubbly, happy, ready to laugh woman and the past three months I've not felt like myself at all. I suffer from allergies, type one diabetes and acid re-flux. A little back story: When i was younger i was always really worried about my health. for example: i once accidentally got hand sanitizer in my mouth and i told my mom i thought i was going to die from it and stayed up most of the night hyperventilating. I was 7. When i was 11 i was very sick, throwing up, etc. for days on end. My mother thought it was just a stomach flu and i ended up in the hospital that night with a diagnosis of type one diabetes. The doctor said we caught it just in time because i wouldn't have made it through the night. When i was 15 i was eating a pepper and found out i was allergic and my throat started to close up. fortunately i was able to catch it in time and was okay after benadryl. Okay-- backstory, over.

Since the accident with my throat, I've been very scared of my throat closing up. I used to have freak out sessions (which is what i called them before someone said it was an anxiety/panic attack) Where i would almost hyperventilate and cry and be extremely scared with a racing heart and nothing would calm me down but they usually only lasted 10 minutes tops and i'd only have them maybe once every two months.

Now, I'm having them every day and i feel as though my mind is just racing, looking for any weird symptom or weird sensation that it can freak out about. When i do find something odd, for example: right now i have an itchy right tonsil, probably from a common cold, but i've had 4 panic attacks about it today already because i'm scared my throat will close and i will die. crazy, right? I know that. But it seems like it doesnt register. anyway, back to what i was saying.

I'm scared to leave the house sometimes in fear of something happening, I'm scared to try new foods or new things because i know it'll bring on a panic attack. I'm scared to freak out in public so i avoid any situations that would cause me an attack. BUT the crazy thing is.. i'm a social butterfly! i LOVE meeting new people and talking with people and being in the spotlight doesnt bother me!

My relationship is being down-right drug through hell right now. I start freaking about something stupid and he doesn't understand and doesn't know how to help me. He just has to hold me while i cry and try to tell me everything is okay. he says "oh, that symptom? probably nothing.." but i can't believe that because i almost died over "oh that symptom? probably a stomach bug" -- uh, no. So it's hard for me to calm down and be okay with not feeling okay. they seem to be worse at night and HORRIBLE when i'm alone. I'm scared of being alone at night, after all, what if my throat does close and no one knows and i'm dead on the floor when my fiance gets off of work at 2am. (he works second shift)

So i try to fill any day when i'm not working with activities, family events, church, etc so i never have to be alone and i'm so busy that i cant fixate on every tiny sensation or problem i'm having. i'm so sad because it's keeping me from doing things i love and it's keeping me from feeling anything but scared all day.

I know this is super long but i am in tears, wanting relief and wanting to feel happy and normal again.
Can anyone help me?
I need help.
2 Responses
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Avatar universal
Take it one step at a time.  First, have you seen your specialist to make sure your blood sugar is under control?  Blood sugar fluctuations can cause anxiety in someone without diabetes, so it could be that.  As for the ways you reacted when you were young, that's how young people react.  I think the above advice is good -- you want to get control of this thinking before it becomes chronic.  But first, see your specialist and make sure everything is looking good and you're eating as you're supposed to etc.
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Avatar universal
Have you tried therapy, because it seems that is what might helo?
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