Avatar universal

Is this normal or just my anxiety

Sorry if this is the wrong thread but I just needed to get other people’s advice on my situation. I had to get a gynecological procedure done under anesthesia for some problems, I was pretty loopy before they put me completely out so some details are fuzzy but I do remember this. My doc came in and fast forward asked if I could scoot down the table apparently I couldn’t all the way so.. I remember him grabbing my legs specifically the top of both my thighs and pulled me down wile my legs were bent, now that was ok I guess but then to remove his hands instead of just taking them off He just from where he had grabbed my thighs slid his hands up to my knees to get his hands off. I don’t know why I thought it was weird maybe my anxiety and him being a man or the meds I was on but I wasn’t sure if it was inappropriate or just what he thought was a comfortable way of moving his hands off my thighs.(why not just take your hands off, why slide them up my thigh?)To add I was not alone with him there were other people in the room doing other things.
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973741 tn?1342342773
So, I've been guided down to the bottom of the table before just like that.  But then they moved my legs to the stirrups. I would say that a male doctor almost ALWAYS has a nurse in the room with him. Oh, wait, I see you say that others were there.  This does not sound sexual to me, to be honest.  
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I would say that if there is EVER a next time to take someone of your choice with you.  It's certainly a vulnerable position to be in and a bit awkward.  That may give you better peace of mind.
Ya I just don’t remember if anyone was there specifically watching him, they were all doing other things from what I noticed. But I agree with you.
Ya, I would not think of this as anything inappropriate.  A woman could have done the same thing and probably would have. Again, if you are more comfortable, take someone with you next time.  You mention anxiety.  Is that just from having taken the medication and being a bit out of it or do you suffer anxiety in general?
It was a surgery so they wouldn’t let my spouse back with me, but other appointments you can have someone with you. and yes I do have anxiety it wasn’t the meds they gave me that caused it, they were to relax me  before they put me out for the procedure.
Gotcha.  Yes, I picked up on the anxiety. Do you talk to anyone about that like a therapist?  That can be really helpful.  Giving you my true opinion here that this doesn't sound nefarious in any way and I've had similar when undergoing a gynecological procedure.  
Avatar universal
You're not clear on what you are asking, meaning, you're posting on an anxiety forum and not on a sexual abuse forum so I'm just wondering if you are a generally anxious person who is feeling anxious about this which would mean you think your fears are irrational or if you're considering taking legal action against the doc for sexually assaulting you.  We can't really answer the second question because we weren't there and you weren't alone with him.  I mean, anything can happen.  He could have been acting improperly.  He could have been just doing what he needed to do so you would be in the proper position for the procedure.  That's a subjective feeling he had and who knows?  So we go to the first question, and unfortunately we really can't answer that one either because it depends on the answer to the second question and we don't know the answer to that because we weren't there and don't have the doc to examine as to what he was trying to do.  Given you're fine and nothing awful happened and it's unlikely you'll ever find out for sure legally you have very little recourse here unless you find out there's a bunch of complaints filed against this doc for this kind of thing.  He didn't sexually violate you, but again, it is of course possible he did do something extra for himself.  Given how much this type of thing is in the news these days I wouldn't think it's an irrational thought to have but if you're an anxiety sufferer and think like this a lot where there's really not anything possibly going on then the anxiety issue is your main concern.  As to the possibility there was more to this in his head, the only recourse you really have if he has no public history of doing this is hire a lawyer, spend a ton of money, because the lawyer will interview those who work with him and other patients in due course of time and try to figure out if this is a thing for him, but don't count on winning when so little happened.  Law doesn't work that way.  You can file a complaint with his employer if he has one or the hospital if it was in a hospital but since you aren't really sure what happened you could ruin his life for something that may not have happened and also cost yourself a lot of time.  I'm afraid you're kind of stuck here because he did have to reposition you but maybe he didn't have to do that little bit extra.  You don't know and we don't know and I'd say if you have an anxiety problem working on that would be more useful for you and you can keep an eye out to see if complaints have been filed against him, and given he did make you feel uncomfortable even if he didn't intend anything sexual you can fix that by finding a different doc next time.  Peace.
Helpful - 0
And I do mean, do try to find out if other complaints have been made.  Because if he is a bad guy you don't want him doing it to others.  It's just that from a legal perspective you need more than a foggy memory and a small slide of the hands.  
I wasn’t considering taking legal action because I do realize how slight of a gesture it was even tho it made me uncomfortable. I’m pretty sure he is the owner of the place I’m going to so complaining would get me no where anyway. He had good reviews I think one or two people made comments about how he was doing exams and didn’t really warn about what was going to happen so they felt uncomfortable. And yes I have been diagnosed with anxiety and going to the doctor tends to make it flare up so I am working on that. Thanks for taking the time to respond I do appreciate it even if I was not clear or posting in the right community.
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